I asked you for a good answer on how do you determine when it’s appropriate to use the government to solve a problem, and the best came from Bantha_Fodder:
First, I flip a coin
then I punch my self real hard in the nads – if it doesnt hurt when I do that, then I use the Government
He wins… HIGH PRAISE!
Most days are dark and dreary and full of misery, but it always cheers me up when I see a comment from Bantha_Fodder.
You rest of you can eventually win HIGH PRAISE too, but you’ll need to step up your game. You know how people are always talking about how clever the commenters are at Ace of Spades? You know what they say about my commenters, though? “Wow, you sure get some interesting spam.”
W…O…W!!! A shot to the nads for all our praise and loyalty!!! We ALL won LOW PRAISE!!! Except that butt kisser Bantha_Fodder!!! When a Bantha has it’s lips pressed against Frank J’s butt…we call Bantha an ass kisser!!! Boo!!
My suggestion to Bantha_Fodder is to have his nads checked.
And ussjimmycarter, in order to win High Praise, it’s possible your game needs to be ‘stepped down.’
I’m to old to do more than schlep up my game.
I’m pretty sure I never actually had game.
If I were funny I’d have my own blog.
“I never thought of it as a game.” Dirty Harry… somehow it fits. ot sure how, but it does.
Bantha_Nadless or what’s his name doesn’t even have nads.
Dumb-blessed ronin. Bless you.
I’m offended as a woman, you sexist: women don’t have nads so we can’t punch ourselves in them. I expect equal opportunity HIGH PRAISE! Furthermore, what about DamnCat? Cats can’t punch themselves in the nads, either! I protest!
Carolyn:
If “nads” is considered a shortened form of “gonads,” then, technically, women do have “nads.” They’re called “ovaries.”
But, you knew that.
I can’t speak regarding DamnCat.
Just for the record, my first thought for a comment was “up yours!”
The only things a cat has is a spirit of darkness and a desire to write a biography of Ivan the Terrible.
DamnCat can’t speak regarding itself, either, Basil. But fortunately, it can type! (Unless it’s one of those ‘fancy cats.’)
On the whole, the commenters at Ace of Spades aren’t particularly more clever than the commenters here; it’s just that there are a lot more commenters there, and they’re a whole lot more vulgar.
Yeah, we cat’s aren’t really into punching ourselves in the nads.
But Bantha_Fodder’s basic idea is still workable – I’ll just punch one of the neighborhood dogs in the nads and see if it curls up & wimpers. If I can find one that still has nads.
Yes, Ernie, but there is nothing so vulgar as allowing a cat in our midst.
You are so Right, Ernie. Over there, they have no word censor. Here we have, Basil, a WordPress censor – and – we use ümlaüts so we’re much more refined – and tasteful!
Winning HIGH PRAISE is kinda like winning a bowling trophy…it just proves you did something of absolutely no value to anyone…better then anyone else.
I would like to take this moment to accept this High Praise
It feels a lot better than a punch to the nads and doesnt leave that blood taste in my mouth quite as long either
Yay ME!
Jimmy:
Wait, were you listing me in addition to a WordPress censor, or as a WordPress censor?
They wouldn’t say that about your commenters if they
realized how hard it is to make a comment look like SPAM.
Sell your Timeshare, get free v**gra, enlarge your package, etc…
I would like to point out that by not selecting my suggestion, Frank J. is implicitly stating that he doesn’t have the smartiest commenters in the world. I take offense at this.
Congratulations to Bantha_Fodder for nads that don’t hurt!
And, in addition, to Basil – just for being here… as our WordPress censor… expert… person…
So. The reason Frank doesn’t read the comments is that they’re spam?
Andrew Breitbart reads the comments at IMAO too. He likes them so much he sends armies of Asian spambots to create more of Franks’ comments.
KIDS: Grandpa, what’s that?
BANTHA: That’s a color printout from my computer screen from way back in 2011 when I won high praise from Frank J.
KIDS: What’s a Frankjay?
BANTHA: He was a guy who used to write funny blogs on a website until he had kids, then he didn’t do it so much.
KIDS: What’s a blog?
BANTHA: It’s a type of website from the Internet?
KIDS: What’s an Internet?
BANTHA: It’s kind of like your 3D laserphone, but much suckier and videos didn’t work well half the time.
KIDS: Okay, whatever.
Basil,
Well don’t go using logic. It only confuses me.
We’ll see how much those nads don’t hurt when they meet Mr. Bat, Louisville Slugger.
Dear Frank J… (whatever ‘J’ stand for!). This is not spam so if please you not put in trash. I would like for to propose a contest to determine your middle initial stands for! I run web service called “GuessYourMiddleInitial.cöm” and we specialize in making fun for people with unknown middle name when many want to know it seriously! Let us help you raise your site numbers – with guaranteed results. Here’s how it works: for modest setup fee ($499.95) and credit card number, you tell us your middle name and we provide link to contest our site where your customers enter their name guess. Those that guess correct win immediate cash!! $50.00!! Maybe a few very happy customers, no? We think you like. Please email your response to: RobertoHotContest@GuessYourMiddleInitial.cöm. Thank you muchly! – Roberto.
Everybody knows that the “J” stands for “Larry.”
I thought the J stood for DICK! AHHHHHHHH!!! I can feel the IMAO censor getting ready to “moderate” me…here I go I’m going to hit submit…
Aww 🙁 I’m a total loser and can’t even get that right! It’s been a long day for the little trooper…hangs head…
Who the heck is that “JimböBöb” person, anyway? Now, that’s some bad spam, Frank.
Wait. Let me guess: “John.”
Actually … and this isn’t widely known … Frank just made it up. Like…
Bullwinkle J Moose
Rocket J Squirrel
Homer J Simpson
Philip J Fry
Michael J Fox
J J Abrams
Raymond J Johnson, Jr.
Michigan J Frog
T J Hooker
Ren J Hoek
Stimpson J Cat
Barack J Obama
All fictional characters have “J” as a middle initial.
“Jeffrey”
“Jacob”
“James”
Wait, how many guesses do I get?
I know, “Jock”
Where’s the friggin’ contest link?
I thought the J stood for Nunya, as in Nunya F’in business 🙂
Thank you muchly! – Roberto.
You can’t fool us. Your name is not really “Roberto.” And that web address is fake – everyone knows there’s no umlaut in “.com” So tell us the real address to send the $499.95 so we can get started.
Bantha be tryin’ to summon Nunya. Her name used to “Nunya Bidness” (or similar).
And Penultimatum, there’s something spooky goin’ on there with JimboBob and “Roberto.” It could be ussjimmycarter.
Frank “Larry” J., I think your swell-but truth be told-the comments are one of the reasons I adore this blog so much. I think all regular commentors (?) deserve HIGH PRAISE. But that could just be the wins talking.
I meant the wine talking.
#38 – PatriotMomofTwo,
We are the chorus and we agree!
We agree! We agree! We agree!!