As you may know, Sarah Palin is currently careening around in a bus being chased by reporters. She’s given no word of her intentions or where she’s going, and the bus is pitch black with opaque windows so that no one can see inside. Some say they can see a faint glow emanating from it at night, though. Anyway, the reporters are chasing her to find out what she’s up to so they can put a stop to it before it’s too late, but her only communication with the reporters so far is to occasionally open a window and shoot at them with a moose gun. So what possibly could Palin be up to inside that bus?

Could she be in there plotting the destruction of the U.S.? Probably.

Could she be planning to lead the reporters to their doom like the Pied Piper? Undoubtedly.

Could she be practicing witchcraft? She never did publicly deny being a witch like Christine O’Donnell.

Could she be building a nuclear bomb inside her bus? We have to assume so.

Could she be doing genetic experiments in there to create a man with all the powers of a moose but none of their weaknesses? Unlikely, but it has to be considered.

Whatever Palin is up to, it’s probably dangerous, so stay away. If her bus comes to your town, don’t go near it. If it parks in front of your house, burn your house down and move. Only weirdos ride buses. And school children. And sports teams. And Obama’s friends… no wait, they go under it.

It’s kind of an odd situation Weiner’s found himself in when people saw him tweet a crotch shot, and now he’s continued to handle it about as oddly as possible. So, first he said he was hacked, and now he won’t deny it’s a picture of him. Do hackers do that? Do they take pictures of your crotch while you’re unaware? I don’t know; it’s been a while since I saw the 1995 film Hackers, but I don’t remember that from it. It was PG-13, so probably not.

Anyway, as they say, it’s not the weird, creepy behavior, it’s the weird, creepy cover up. When Weiner makes himself look like such an obvious liar, people wonder why they should trust him on anything — and the obvious answer is they shouldn’t. Some wonder if behavior like this will hurt a Democrat since they never really care about morality anyway, but that’s not true. Democrats are always going on trying to guilt people into pointlessly spending billions saying we don’t care about the poor or the needy, but the truth is left-wing politicians don’t care about them either. They only act like they care about humanity as an abstraction, but all they really care about is power and pushing people around. That’s why they’re sociopathic weirdo creeps like Weiner, and that’s useful thing for the public to be reminded of.

So if we’re getting rid of the weirdo creeps in Congress, that mean we’re getting rid of the most of the people there. So let’s get started.

Heh. His name is “Weiner”.