As you may know, Sarah Palin is currently careening around in a bus being chased by reporters. She’s given no word of her intentions or where she’s going, and the bus is pitch black with opaque windows so that no one can see inside. Some say they can see a faint glow emanating from it at night, though. Anyway, the reporters are chasing her to find out what she’s up to so they can put a stop to it before it’s too late, but her only communication with the reporters so far is to occasionally open a window and shoot at them with a moose gun. So what possibly could Palin be up to inside that bus?
Could she be in there plotting the destruction of the U.S.? Probably.
Could she be planning to lead the reporters to their doom like the Pied Piper? Undoubtedly.
Could she be practicing witchcraft? She never did publicly deny being a witch like Christine O’Donnell.
Could she be building a nuclear bomb inside her bus? We have to assume so.
Could she be doing genetic experiments in there to create a man with all the powers of a moose but none of their weaknesses? Unlikely, but it has to be considered.
Whatever Palin is up to, it’s probably dangerous, so stay away. If her bus comes to your town, don’t go near it. If it parks in front of your house, burn your house down and move. Only weirdos ride buses. And school children. And sports teams. And Obama’s friends… no wait, they go under it.
Palin Mystery Bus Tour?
Am I the only person that instantly though of her going around with her husband and family, Shaggy, Velma, and Fred and a brown mutt solving crimes?
Wouldn’t that make a great show?
Wow! Oh yeah I mean WOW!!1111!!1 FIRST!
Dang!
“Some say they can see a faint glow emanating from it at night, though.”
That’s just Sarah dreaming of me!
Glowing like what? Blue? Like, Cobalt blue?
She’s making a doomsday, COBALT BOMB!!!11!!!11!!
She’s knitting a Golden Lasso of Truth to go with her Wonder Woman costume. Her husband already is Moose Man, with the strength of ten mooses (and the ability to summon mooses to his aid).
I can’t believe nobody has figured it out yet, but she’s got all that equipment Cheney had in the back of the WH to control weather. She’s causing tornados, flooding, and who know’s what else with that bus.
It’s a little known fact that the Palin bus is equipped to fly, so I’m thinking it’s the reporters to their doom option. Lead them to a cliff, zoom into the sky, and Bob’s yer uncle, 162 reporters careen to their doom.
Did anyone else catch the hilarity of recent PDS? A CBS correspondent actually claimed that by not publishing a schedule, Palin was creating a “dangerous situation” by “forcing” reporters to stay close behind her bus. Also, some really stupid Congresswoman claimed that Palin was violating federal law because of “illegal” use of the US flags printed on her bus. Ahhhh, so quick to forget they are. Flag burning = OK. Flags printed respectfully on a bus = Not OK. (This may be the first time a liberal got confused about Supreme Court rulings regarding the flag.)
@Burma – I’m pretty sure liberal’s don’t even know about Supreme Court rulings regarding the flag.
A bunch of Repgnant Republican Klansmen and Klanswomen gathered together on the Gettysburg battlefield in 90 degree heat to catch a glimpse of this foul woman. Beats.
I went there myself. I was decked out in cameras, sound capture equipment, journals, and a copy of Das Kapital for waving in the face of this consumerist, animal-murdering harpy.
She never showed up. The truth is the scalding light to this vampire.
Channellling the media evidentley increases me spelling errors.
@Plenty – So that’s the light from the bathroom where she’s throwing up then?
♫ Every day you’ll see the dust
As I drive my baby in my Magic Bus ♫
If it was Willie Nelson’s bus, we’d know exactly what that ‘glow’ was.
Funny!
Btw, Moose have no strengths… unless you consider strengths to be the ability to float or the ability to attract a swarm of Horseflys that stay with you for entirety of your life.
Plentyofbailouts – FAIL!
When Palin comes to Minnesota and get’s one look at your old Pal ussjimmycarter, with my good looks, alley cat charm, and the dream of the every day housewife she shall be so smitten that I doubt that she will be able to proceed. Every speed after will be made with Sarah picturing me in her mind and just waiting for the day we can be together!
It’s a curse that I’ve lived with all my life. What can I say! Woman love a rugged real man who tells them to shut up and get me another cup of coffee (I quit drinking). The liked to be spanked and an occassional back hand is not out of the question if one’s laundry including underwear is not neatly folded and ironed! Sarah would like totally do this stuff for me!!!
ussjimmycarter said:
And Marko cleans it up so we all can understand it.
Yes, he said that, Marko. Why he said it, we don’t know, since he still hasn’t come clean on Weinergate.
if she heads for the Grand Canyon we’ll know it’s the pied piper scenario.
You never know, Critter, she could also lead them to the Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania, the jagged peaks of New Hampshire, or the great Atlantic Ocean.
Mother Nature has given this wanton jezebel more than enough opportunities. It seems that no one but our brave old media souls stand in her way.
Wait, ussjimmycarter just called. This is a transcription of what he said:
Then he hung up, Marko. Apparently, he left the screen door open and the mosquitoes were in two-abreast landing formation near his face while Hillary called on his other line.
@Gahiggidy: Whaddaya mean, moose have no strengths? What do you call the ability to pull a rabbit out of a hat – again! – while being watched by a mouthy squirrel?
Okay, where’s Mr. Right and a photoshop of Palin and the Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour album cover?
I hate to be a grammar Nazi, Myxmaster, but I believe the plural of ‘moose’ is ‘meese.’
It’s ‘meeses’ if you’re referring to multiple herds.
Interesting that throughout the Obama campaign the 24/7story angle was how Obama was able to draw big crowds. Palin is traveling around in a bus and stopping at places UNANNOUNCED, and is drawing big crowds, but the left-wing media see no news story there…just, wow she must be crazy because she doesn’t tell CNN and MSNBC where she’s going.
She’s making the lefties wet themselves everyday…and that’s just plain fun.
FrankJ! you are no better than the rest of the LSM!111!!!. I demand that you leave the children out of your speculation!! You have absolutely NO evidence that Piper is pied!!!
Actually, I have to confess. Ussjimmycarter didn’t call. It might have been me calling my house phone on my cell while sitting in front of my house phone, talking to myself. I’m not sure who it was. Like Weiner. 🙁
I see it as a pac-man scenario, the reporters chase her around for awhile, and then she enters a county that has sensible laws allowing you to shoot paparazzi legally, and then she will whip around and everyone in the family will bag their limit.
I did not have Wiener with that woman, Miss what’s her name! Now I must get back to the business that the American people expect of me and that is one of an IT Project Manager. If you keep distracting me with Wiener stuff and such, many IT systems shall not be implemented and you losers will start getting bogus bank statements, bad brokerage account balances etc. I am having programmed into Jimmy and Marco’s accounts an automatic “drain” feature which will show up as a billing fee but will monthly transfer sums of dough to ussjimmycarter’s account. If anyone asks, I will just say “stupid programmers” and everyone will shake their heads in that knowing fashion…
A Tom Waits song comes to mind. “What’s He Building in There?”