* Rick Perry has now come up with a bold new tax plan filled with bold tax flavors. Instead of 9-9-9, we have 20/20 which is a 20% flat tax on income and a 20% corporate tax. Of course, those add up to 40, while Cain’s plan only adds up to 27… if that’s how you judge these things. I have no idea.
I do like the filing taxes on a postcard idea. That should stimulate the economy, though at the same time there will be a ton of job losses with IRS agents, tax accountants, and people who make income tax related software. Growing pains I guess.
Mitt Romney has offered no new tax plan — those are scary — but he will try and soothe the economy with his confident, presidential looking smile.
* Obama has a new simplistic slogan: “We can’t wait”. I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t that more of slogan for how most Americans are feeling for the 2012 opportunity to kick Obama out of office? Still, the White House is operating under the fantasy that there are people still out there expectantly waiting for Obama’s new plans. If there are, they’re probably restrained and under medication.
* Based on the economic forecast, it’s projected that Obama will get 43.5% of the vote. That’s probably not going to do it. Anyway, Science! made this prediction — just like it has for global warming — which means we can’t doubt it and there is no reason to even have the election unless we’re anti-science and so should probably just start moving Obama out now. Obama, your Hummel figurines are out on the curb.
* We’ve now witnessed one of the strangest sights ever in a political ad: A man smoking a cigarette. Yes, at the end of the Herman Cain ad, this man just casually puffs at a cigarette like that’s something people do. No shame whatsoever. It’s unprecedented.
I bet Obama is hoping the ad is successful, because then he’ll smoke all through his campaign ads. Since he can’t really make a positive ad for himself, he might as well use them as smoke breaks.
* So now that Qdaffy is gone, how much sharia do you want in Libya? A decent amount? A lot? Well, there’s going to be some. It may be a more moderate sharia, though, so instead of getting murdered for breaking stupid Islamic laws, you just get severely beaten or something. And they’re bringing back polygamy, so yay.
The countries in the Middle East seem kind of in a rut no matter what help they get, and I notice one common factor among all the troubled countries there. I’m going to be polite and not point it out, though.
* A 74-year-old grandma tried to sell a speck of a moon rock she had from her deceased, engineer husband, and NASA ended up capturing her in a sting where armed, flak-jacket wearing feds swooped in and dragged away the frightened old woman. So if you wondering what NASA is doing now that the space shuttle has been retired, they’re devoting all their resources to SCARING OLD LADIES. We really need to find those people some more space stuff to do.
* Netflix has lost 800,000 subscribers. That’s capitalism for you: You raise prices, people don’t like that. Good to know that’s still working.
* Onion article: “Mitt Romney’s Goal To Connect With One Voter By The Time This Is All Over.” I’m sure he’ll eventually excite one voter, but if you pull the lever excitedly or grudgingly, it still counts the same.
So, when does Netflix get its government bailout?
Rejected Obama Slogans:
– Do as I say, not as I do!
– Republicans are poopy-heads.
– Free Ice Cream with every vote.
– You’re better off today than you were if you were living in a Gulag four years ago.
– Half the fat, all the taste!
– LOOK! Something shiney!!11!!
– Yes we can’t wait to win the future!
About that Cain ad:
1) Good: Hermain’s creepy and slowly developing evil villain smile.
2) Unimportant: Eh, who cares if people want to smoke?
3) Bad: Vague generalities from speaker.
NASA Police! A Quinn Martin production starring Steve Forrest, Vic Morrow and Antonio Fargas as Leroy “MAG Rash” Jackson.
Helping the worldwide caliphate one country at a time. – Thanks O
Obama is a guy who likes to one up his opponents, so as far as the smoking ad goes, I think we can expect him to do a spot in which he does a line of blow.
“…there will be a ton of job losses with IRS agents, tax accountants, and people who make income tax related software.”
They can go live in Zuccotti Park.
Why does our ding-dong of a chief executive have a slogan that makes him sound like an outsider beating on the doors? He’s the President of the United States! His idiot fans have waited for leprechaun gold and fairy dust to save us for almost three years — and now he’s impatient? Well, my flabber is totally ghasted.
And my tlet is looking pretty rough, too.
“We’ve now witnessed one of the strangest sights ever in a political ad: A man smoking a cigarette. Yes, at the end of the Herman Cain ad, this man just casually puffs at a cigarette like that’s something people do. No shame whatsoever. It’s unprecedented.”
Yep, I haven’t seen anything like that since back when this was America.
I wonder how many of the Netflix loses were due to the price increase and how many were because people began to think the people running the company were crazy.
@DamnCat – then where will the cats go?
Correct responses to Obama’s “We can’t wait!” :
“Yes we can!”
“We are the ones we have been waiting for.”
“‘We can’t wait’ – just words.”
“No snacking between meals, kids.”
“There’s a toilet down the hall.”
“Tough titties. You have to.”
“Squeeze harder then.”
@Jimmy – well, we’re not going to live in a park with a bunch of smelly hippies, that’s for sure.
“We can’t wait!”
“I told you to go before we left!”
Obama slogans
Kneel before Zod
You want fries with that?
Me love you long time.
We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig… cow after cow… village after village… army after army…
Herman Cain should have fingered everyone at the end of the ad. That would have cemented my vote for him! Although I liked the cigarette which will drive all the nanny’s apoplectic!!! Like wha..wha…what was THAT!!! A CIGARETTE!!! Like, can’t we arrest him or something? Someone do something…as they run around holding their heads in their hands…
Just stopped by to make sure the “I hate Romney brigade” is still alive and well. The more things change the more they stay the same. It’s always good to have something in life one can count on.
Thanks again for reminding me just what a beautiful place the world is.
I wrote this on Romney’s fase book page. If you hear him say it you will know it came from me. When I heard about “Cut, Balance and Grow” all I could thing of was an old joke from Name That Tune; I can name that tune in ONE note!
Gosh, I hate Romney!
Bwahahahahaha!
9 9 9–20/20–Flat. I really don’t care. Just simplify the tax code until Tim Geitner can figure out how much he owes.
Trust me on this. We tax people will not be out of work. We will be so busy rearranging everyone’s financial affairs that we will have twice, three times the work.
Just like lawers calcpa…no matter what happens ya’ll parasites always come up aces.
A married man should know better than to say Yay to polygamy. You should know by now that one wife is enough trouble.
trouble is bound to go up exponentially with extra wives.
Extra husbands on the other hand would just blame each other for leaving the seat up and take turns hiding in the man cave.
Polygamy never made sense to me. Why would any man want to disappoint more than one woman at a time?
We’ll never have a flat tax in this country. N-E-V-E-R. First, that would be an automatic tax increase on at least 47% of the country, so good luck selling that. Second, every single lobbyist in Washington will be against it. Want to see Planned Parenthood and National Right to Life on the same side of an issue? Threaten to take away tax deductions to nonprofit organizations.