Archive of entries posted on 14th October 2011

Nuke the News: Even Filthier Hippies, Dying on the Floor, and More Liberal Fascism

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* “You filthy hippies get out of the park so we can clean it.”

“No, man. Clean parks are a tool of corporate greed!”

“How is that?”

“I… uh… Wall Street bankers are ruining this country!”

What exactly is this Occupy Wall Street thing about again? The owners — private owners — of the park the hippies are camping in wanted to finally clean the place and restore sanitary conditions, but the hippies refused to move and now the cleanup has been postponed. Yay! Filthy hippies get to remain filthy!

But before you get too angry at the hippies, at least remember all the endless entertainment they bring us. Watch this video — at least up until they explain the first two hippie hand signs:

What it must be like to live without any self-awareness. Just wish we could have seen the hippie brainstorming session that came up with these hand signs; they should really put that sort of thing on CSPAN.

So is Occupy Wall Street destined to become a popular mainstream movement? I’m going to give that a “down twinkles”.

* Obama raised $70 million in the last quarter. What kind of depraved individual sees the condition of the country and says, “I want more of this! I better open up my checkbook!” Maybe the Occupy Wall Street hippies have a point: Some millionaires obviously really really hate this country and want to destroy it.

* Pelosi said about a recent bill that Republicans are voting so that “women can die on the floor”. I don’t even know what the details of the bill are, but that’s not the sort of rhetoric that makes me say, “Wow! I better further examine this extreme bill!” Instead, it makes me say, “What a hyperventilating weirdo. My guess is the bill is pretty vanilla and Pelosi’s mouth just flaps a lot to no purpose.” In what universe did the Democrats think Pelosi was a smart idea for leader? Why do they even keep her around after 2010? It makes me think the House Democrats are depressed and suicidal. Luckily I don’t care if they die on the floor… as long as it’s not my floor.

* A lot of people are wary of Cain’s 9-9-9 plan, but now Paul Ryan and famous curve drawer Art Laffer have come out in favor of it. I just so want to believe Cain is a serious candidate and that we’re not going to get stuck with Romney, whom we all hate, and some institutional support would certainly help Cain there. I mean, Obama is so vulnerable, and the best we can do is Romney? We can’t find someone the GOP base even marginally likes? What is it with Republicans and presidential primaries?

* It’s Crowder on Occupy Wall Street! Do you think there is humor to be found there?

* Wisdom of the Day: “The whole ‘I refuse to give the gov’t more money freely, please take it by force!’ ideology seems very S&M.” –PoliticalMath

* Another day, another liberal yearning for a fascistic dictatorship. Jesse Jackson Jr. (I thought he was in prison?) suggested that Obama declare a state of emergency and pass everything he wants without congressional approval. Liberals are always looking at our system and growling about how the checks and balances are stopping them from doing everything they want, which means the system is working exactly as the Founders intended.

Random Thoughts

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Obama raised $70 million? $70 million to support more of this? Al Qaeda has to be behind that.

$70 million for Obama? Rich people really do hate us.

The Apple cloud space seems too expensive. Much room for Amazon to compete in.

“Twinkles” and “down twinkles”? Really? What it must be like to live without self-awareness.

Someone needs to take that Darth Vader scene from the end of the Revenge of the Sith and change the translation to “DOWN TWINKLES!”

The endless entertainment we get from hippies is certainly worth their parasitic relationship to us.

I wish someone filmed the hippie brainstorming session that came up with twinkles and down twinkles. “No, man. People will make fun of us if we use jazz hands. I got it… Twinkles!”

Pelosi said Republicans want women to die on the floor? Not on my floor, right?

“Clean parks are just a tool of the Wall Street corporate bankers!”

If Cain gets the nod, that would be the GOP’s craziest nominee since…

The whole idea of 999 is that it’s transitional to a fair tax, right? I don’t seem to hear that much.

Trying to teach myself to stop putting the dash in “email”.

Wait; I’m supposed to get express written permission before I tweet what’s happening in the baseball game?

Come on, Republicans, we all really hate Romney. We should be able to think of something.

Leonardo DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover – it’s a comedy, right?

Comedy or not, I’m going to go see it in the theater and laugh loudly every time DiCaprio is called Hoover.

DiCaprio has to use every ounce of his talent just for me to buy him playing an adult.

Millionaires aren’t exactly a large group, but if there is a shooting war between them and hippies, I’d still bet on them.

iPad said 5GB wasn’t enough to backup to the cloud. Didn’t say how much I would need.

I put violent hippies in the same category as violent house cats: Scary, but probably not going to overthrow society.

But if violent house cats and violent hippies teamed up… Ooh; new scifi story idea.

Now we know what happened to SpaceMonkey

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Remember SpaceMonkey? Of course you do!

He hasn’t been around much, just commenting on occasion, and not having written a full blog post in over a year and a half.

What happened? Well, it turns out that he’s been involved in Iran’s space program. Check it out.

Now, he hasn’t turned against the U.S. or anything. I don’t think he has. I suspect he’s inside the Iran space program, turning knobs and throwing switches and causing all sorts of mayhem. Like the Dean Winters in the Allstate commercials.

I’m hoping he’ll stop by one day and give us the full scoop on what he’s been doing. But, until then, know that his absence is serving a greater purpose: screwing with the Iranians.

Good job, SpaceMonkey! You da man … um … you da simian!

Nine-Nine-Nein

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After the 2008 election, some people who supported Barack Obama told me they were shocked — SHOCKED! — when he actually did some of the things he said he’d do in the campaign.

When I challenged them with, “Didn’t he say he’d do that?” the usual response was, “Well, I didn’t think he would.”

I don’t want to be that guy. But, I’m thinking I may turn out to be that guy.

I’m supporting Herman Cain. The parallel with Barack Obama should be obvious.

No, not the black thing. Cain grew up black, Obama was raised by a bunch of crazy white folk. If elected, Cain would be America’s first black president.

No, what I’m talking about is: 9-9-9.

I like a lot of things about Herman Cain, but I don’t like the 9-9-9 plan.

On the face of it, that seems odd, since that’s all you hear about Cain.

The two biggest things I like about Cain are:

  • He’s a successful businessman, and we need someone in the White House that understands business. Without that, the economy will, well, do what it’s doing today.
  • He’s a conservative. That means that, when situations arise, I’ll more than likely be satisfied with how he handles it.

Those two items are the most important thing about Cain. When compared to the other candidates, he’s strongest on these two qualifications. And that’s enough for me.

But, what I don’t like is the 9-9-9 plan. Or the 9 part. No, that 9. The other one. No, that that one. The other one. Yes, that one. The national sales tax.

Here’s the plan:

  • Business Flat Tax – 9%
    • Gross income less all investments, all purchases from other businesses and all dividends paid to shareholders.
    • Empowerment Zones will offer additional deductions for payroll employed in the zone.
  • Individual Flat Tax – 9%.
    • Gross income less charitable deductions.
    • Empowerment Zones will offer additional deductions for those living and/or working in the zone.
  • National Sales Tax – 9%.
    • This gets the Fair Tax off the sidelines and into the game.

Flat tax rates for business and individuals is a good thing. If you make twice the money, you pay twice the taxes. It’s that national sales tax that I don’t like.

Opening up one more way for the government to get our money? That’s a no-go. You start a new tax, you’ll never get rid of it. It took over 100 years for the government to stop billing you for the Spanish-American War.

The saving grace is, a national sales tax may be unconstitutional. If there will be a tax on everything sold, what about land? If you sell property, does the national sales tax apply? If so, it could run into the same problems brought up in Pollock v. Farmers’ Loan & Trust Co., which ruled that income tax was unconstitutional, and was the impetus for the 16 Amendment to the Constitution. A national sales tax may require another amendment. And I don’t want another amendment; every time somebody touches the Constitution, they screw things up. Well, not every time, but in the last 100 years. We don’t need another 18th Amendment fiasco, for instance.

The thing most people know about Herman Cain, 9-9-9 plan, is just about the only thing I don’t like about his platform. I do want tax reform; I just don’t like the national sales tax portion of that plan.

I still support Cain for president. I hope he wins. But, when it comes time to implement 9-9-9, I hope he fails.

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