Archive of entries posted on 13th October 2011

Nuke the News: Cain in Front, Apologies, and Die Hard Won’t Die

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* It’s official: Cain is the front runner!

Still, political analysts don’t really think much of it. Intrade still has Romney near 70% at getting the nomination. The way people figure, everyone hates Romney but also realize he’s electable. So Republicans are going to flirt with nominating someone who doesn’t make them retch, but at the end of the day they’re all going to give into the inevitable and go for the highly polished politician.

But maybe — unexpectedly — the political analysts are wrong again. Plus, there is one big factor here that I don’t think everyone is taking into account enough: Herman Cain is black. Republicans are just sick and tired of the left’s scummy, bad-faith racism charges, and many would probably just love to throw a monkey wrench in that and watch as liberals furrow their brown in confusion about what to do next. If Cain is the nominee, liberals’ charges of racism for not supporting Obama are going to have to get quite… creative.

* Still, lots of people are wary of the 9-9-9 plan from Cain. With taxes, people like simple, but their are other worries. What I think a good tax system needs to be, though, is out in front and in our faces. If there were no withholdings and everyone had to write a check on April 15th for all their federal taxes, taxes would never have gotten this high. With sales tax in this country, it’s added after the purchase, and that’s why you don’t find cities here with 20% sales tax. So Herman Cain, if you’re listening (and why wouldn’t smart people listen to me?), make sure one big part of your plan is that the taxes are in people’s faces constantly. I want people reflecting on the cost of government every day.

* I think Joe Biden is threatening to rape and murder us if the jobs bill isn’t passed. That wacky Joe.

With a really good jobs bills, you’d sell it by focusing on how many jobs it will create. With Obama’s jobs bill, YOU WILL BE RAPED AND MURDERED IF IT ISN’T PASSED!

* Apparently Obama was preparing to apologize to Japan for bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but Japan told him not to. Also, I heard Obama sent condolences to the family of Awlaki. What is this? If you mess with us, we blow you up. If there should be any apologies, it should be from who we attacked, apologizing for making us use expensive bombs. Actually, that should be our policy now. We bomb a country and then the last thing we drop is a bill for the armaments.

* We wanted coherent demands from the Occupy Wall Street protesters, and we got it: Pay for my tuition because I want that. It is a straight-forward, fulfill-able demand. The reasoning behind it — “because I want it” — is a little lacking, but, hey, it’s a start. It’s just the protests have been so incoherent and unfocused, a demand like “Give us free candy!” is a bit of a relief.

* There’s a new Die Hard in the works, and it will be called: “A Good Day to Die Hard.” Isn’t Bruce Willis getting a little old for that, though? Maybe the “Die Hard” part no longer refers to him but to his lawn which survives under the constant assault of kids who won’t stay off it.

Random Thoughts

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With 1000 Palestinian prisoners being traded for Shalit, a commenter suggested we refer to Palestinians as “milli-Jews”.

Not sure if the Wii U is going to be as successful. So far, only third-party exclusive lined up is “Human Centipede: The Game”.

“Grr! Wall Street bankers! I hate them and how they… bank stuff on the… street… with the walls…”

I don’t like dividing the country into percentages.

I wish the Wikipedia pages for different rock bands better explained why people hate them.

So who is the main villain trying to kill John McClane in the new Die Hard movie? Time?

When Roy Rogers originally said, “Yippie-ki-yay, mother@#$%!” in the 1930s, it was much more shocking.

The Occupy Wall Street people seem to be getting indignant that people expect coherent demands from them. That doesn’t help them.

Cain being ahead in the polls doesn’t prove Republicans aren’t racist, just that they really like pizza.

I think the problem for Romney is that Obama has made the public more weasel averse.

So this next iPad update should be the last time I have to connect to iTunes… which is one more time too many.

Joe Biden is threatening to rape and murder people if the jobs bill isn’t passed.

My iPad is in the cloud. Can I now delete iTunes before it decides to destroy my computer and/or soul?

Hide your kids, hide your husbands, Republicans be rapin’ ev’rybody

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Joe Biden wants to raise your taxes so you won’t get raped.


[Direct link]
Excerpt:

In 2008, when Flint had 265 sworn officers on their police force, there were 35 murders and 91 rapes in this city. In 2010, when Flint had only 144 police officers, the murder rate climbed to 65 and rapes–just to pick two categories–climbed to 229. In 2011, you now only have 125 shields. God only knows what the numbers will be this year for Flint if we don’t rectify it. And God only knows what that number would have been had we not been able to get a little bit of help to you.

So, if you weren’t raped or murdered this year, thank Joe Biden and Barack Obama.

If you were raped or murdered, blamed the Republicans. In fact, the Republicans are tired of rapists and murders getting all the credit. They have formed a task force to climb into your windows, snatch your people up, and rape them.

How do you defend against it? You need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands because the Republicans will be raping everybody.

And they’re all racist. Especially that colored fellow. He’s the most racist of them all.