So Dick Cheney finished his memoir and it is coming out August 30th. It’s called In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir
TOP TEN REJECTED TITLES FOR THE DICK CHENEY’S MEMOIR
10. I’m Going to Kill You All
9. A Blast of Truth to Your Face
8. If You Don’t Buy This Book, @#$% You!
7. Life as a Cyborg
6. Crises, Hard Choices, and Secret Assassination Squads
5. The Only Thing I’m Sorry About Is Your Face
4. A Thick Book to Smack Terrorists in the Face with Between Waterboarding Sessions
3. I Didn’t Like You Either
2. Sponsored by Halliburton
And the number one rejected title for Dick Cheney’s memoir…
You’re Welcome!
– Please, Oh Please, Don’t Make Me Kill Again
My Midichlorians & Me – The Darth Cheney Saga
Pffft! Fred!
Lets go hunting!
I see you, Leahy!
Darth Cheney can strangle someone by simply raising his hand and breathing loudly.
Other rejected titles:
“Big Dick”
“I Have Craps Bigger Than Biden”
“Winning!”
“Tales from the Darkside” was taken
“The Undisclosed Location Was a Lair Inside of an Island Volcano” Too wordy
“You don’t Need a Biden if You’ve Got a Dick”
The Care abd Feeding of Genitically Raised Dinosaurs.
The Six Million Dollar Vice President
* Sorry I’m Late, I Was Taking a Crap: The Cheney Story
* I Am The Law by Dick Cheney with Sly Stallone
Big Dick Cheney
DemocRat Bangin” Dick Cheney
My Dick is bigger than Harry Reid’s Cheney
Joe Biden has no Dick Cheney
Hillary Clinton has a huge Dick Cheney
Michelle keeps Barack’s Dick in a lock box Cheney
* They Call Me Mister Cheney!
* “Dos Equis” Orginially Wanted Me.
Hey Marko…is that Cagney or a young CarrotTop?
Don’t insult Cagney that way!
“Bite My Shiny Metal Defibrillator”
“Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Vice-President”
“Yippie Ki Yay, Obama-Voter”
“I don’t feel the need the need to wipe everybody out. Just my enemies. That’s all.”
” I’m the VEEP, I run s#!+ around here. King Kong ain’t got s#!+ on me!”
Cheney is getting a little soft lately,
he had a liberal for dinner last week
WITHOUT torturing him first.
“Anger Management And Other Silly Ideas”
“Don’t Cross It! A guide to You, Dick Cheney and the line in the sand.”
“The Real Man’s Guide To Hunting Lawyers”
Robo-Veep
“Yippie Ki Yay, Obama-Voter”
“The Real Man’s Guide To Hunting Lawyers”
tie for the win and the future!
“Two and a Half Men” (The cover is a picture of Bush and Cheney leaving the White House with Barry in the background)
The Last Testament.
So Long, and You’re Welcome for All the Fish.
Teaching Homer Simpson New Choke Holds – Fatherhood in the New Century.
Hey, Barry I just took a big smelly Obama. Get over here and wipe my ass! By Dick Cheney!
-I enjoy bubble baths and romance novels….. NOT: The Dick Cheney Story
10. I’m Going to Kill You All
Nothing can top that one. Heh.
* Anti-terrorism For Dummies, by Dick Cheney
* Washington D.C.’s Guide To Dummies by Dick Cheney
* I’m Dick Cheney And You’re Probably A Dummy, by Dick Cheney
* Hey Dummy: Get Out Of My Country! by Dick Cheney
* How To Drop Dead for Dummies by Dick Cheney
* You’re A Dummy And You’re Dead by Dick Cheney
* Dumb, Dummy And Dead Dummy by Dick Cheney
– You Have No Chance to Survive: Make Your Time
– The Great Divide: Buy My Book or Get Punched in the Face
– Dick Cheney: A Life Dedicated to Making Liberals Wet their Beds
– Your Only Defense Against the Death Squads I’ve Sent to Your House
You Say “Death Squads” Like That’s A Bad Thing: Eight Years of Humorous Anecdotes from the War on Terror
I Am Evil, Yes. (Why Glenn Reynolds, his blender and your puppies are the snooze alarm on my doomsday clock.)
My ICD is bigger than yours…
And You Thought Nixon Was Tricky by Tricky Dick Cheney
I’d rather be hit in the face with Dick Cheney’s shot that with Bill Clinton’s Wad.