Zo. From last year. Worth another viewing.
Archive of entries posted on 25th May 2011
Bibi More Popular Than ‘Bama?
So Netanyahu spoke to Congress, and he actually got more standing ovations in his speech than Obama did in his last State of the Union. So why does a foreigner seem more popular than the American president? I guess Americans have a special place in there heart for Israel. Israel has real evil on all sides trying to destroy them plus most of the world against them — they’re basically America as we like to see ourselves: the scrappy underdog trying to take on evil. And Obama is certainly a poor representation of that. He’s a guy who spent most of his life in made up jobs like “community organizer” and sees being the leader of the free world as a time to enforce social change on everyone such as his health care plan. When people are being murdered by tyrants, he only reluctantly lifts a finger. That’s not what we want to be at all.
Anyway, we have a lot of focus on the economy — and rightfully so — but we still have to remember that we are the leader of the free world and that entails a lot more than just being financially successful. The struggles of Israel remind us what are the important things we need to stick up for because no one (other than Israel) will.
How to Make Tim Pawlenty More Exciting
So first Tim Pawlenty goes to Iowa to speak out against ethanol subsidies, and now he’s gone to Florida to call for Medicare and Social Security reform. Dude is crazzzzzzzzz…
Okay, fell asleep again, because it’s still Tim Pawlenty. Still, he’s getting more interesting. Maybe with just a little help, he could be an exciting, dynamic candidate.
TIPS FOR TIM PAWLENTY TO BE MORE EXCITING
* Go to a biker bar. Pick fight with largest guy there.
* Vow to put our nation’s resources towards building a giant, city-destroying robot.
* Change name to Snake Pawlenty.
* Drive around in a solid gold rocket car.
* Use straight talk to tell a few states, “Your state sucks; I don’t even want your votes. I hope you all die.”
* Call your campaign the “Pawlenty of Pain Tour”.
* At every appearance, have walls of flame surround the stage when you’re speaking.
* For a fundraiser, rob a bank.
* Start debates by ripping off your shirt like Hulk Hogan.
* Explosions everywhere you go.
* Wear a patch eye.
* End a speech by breaking a cinder block with your head.
If he follows my advice, think of how exciting he’ll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Codename “Chalaque”
The reports from the U.K. about the president’s codename as assigned by Scotland Yard. It’s “Chalaque,” which, according to the Daily Mail is a “mildly offensive” Punjabi word meaning, roughly, “smart alec.”
They claim it’s completely innocent, as the codenames are randomly generated. Of course, adding “Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more” might have undermined that defense.
But what about next time? It’s possible that Obama could travel to the U.K. again. I mean, he may discover he’s also Wells, and that would mean a trip to his ancestral home, where he’d talk about coming from a long line of Welsh Obamas.
We can help. We can come up with a list of approved codenames for Obama.
For example:
- Dumbo
- Vappa
- Benzona
- Windbag
- Ego
Nope. None of those really capture it. What suggestions do you have?
Random Thoughts
People always asking Israel, “Why aren’t you nicer to those who want to eradicate you?” And they never have a good answer.
I have to say I’m surprise how popular American Idol still is even without Simon Cowell. I guess Randy was the true heart of the show. Would it be American Idol without someone calling the contestants, “Dawg!” No, it would not
Anyone who ever fell for John Edwards should, for the good of the country, preclude themselves from voting ever again.
I thought the Oprah show ended years ago.
Toast
Did you see Chalaque Obama screw up a toast?
Normally, a toast of “To Her Majesty, the Queen” would be sufficient. But not to the World’s Smartest Human™. Oh, no. He-Who-Shall-Not-Shut-The-Hell-Up kept on rambling, over the national anthem.
How many ways can a man embarrass himself, and, by extension due to his position, an entire country?
I propose a toast: To November 6, 2012.