lolbama! Part 63

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Arik:

[if only…]

From Jared:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[ref 1, ref 2]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link (NSFW)]

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Chris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Puritanical America Doesn’t Like Rapists

So the French director of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, was hauled off a plane at JFK just moments before takeoff because of charges of sexually assaulting a chambermaid. And of course, we have people in France lecturing us how we’re prudes, such as this statement from a European parliament member:

“In puritanical American [sic], infiltrated by rigorous Protestantism, financial misdeeds are far more tolerated than pleasures of the flesh.”

Yeah, we all know how puritanical it is where the incident took place — New York City.

And we have other Frenchies appalled at how a world leader can be arrested base merely on the accusations of some commoner.

You ever wonder if we spend too much time trying to spread American values of justice and liberty to the Middle East and not enough in Europe?

First of all, Strauss-Kahn (why does a guy have a hyphenated name? And why, for that matter, is a guy named “Dominique”?) should just feel lucky he didn’t get shot in the head, because a lot of places in America if you try to rape someone, you will get shot in the head. And we’re proud of that. No one is going to say, “I’m appalled at you and your puritanical urge to shoot a rapist in the head!” Instead, everyone is going to say, “Good shooing. Got him right in the head. That’s the bin Laden special. Now let’s chuck him in the sea.” And you can say, “But I’m head of the IMF and am a leader of global significance!” but the bullet don’t care.

Also, is it really surprising with the French’s anything goes attitude towards sex that they’d have leaders who are rapists? There’s not as much distance between eschewing any societal mores on sex and sexual assault as people might like to think. You may call the alternative “puritanical”, but if you constantly indulge your strongest animal urges with no restraint, you’re going to act like an animal. And then, in America, you get caged like an animal. And then you’ll end up around others with an anything goes attitude. They’re sophisticated.

America Needs a Better Villain

New Pajamas Media column. Read and be impressed with my smartiness.

Random Thoughts

You don’t hear it mentioned much that Harry Reid is a Mormon because no one take a Democrat’s religion seriously unless he’s Muslim.

The GOP presidential field is looking pretty bad, but we have an awesome VP field.

The GOP field is weak, but Obama really sucks so it won’t take much. “Inoffensive Boring Guy 2012”

Trump was too much of a joke candidate to even put on my joke list of GOP hopefuls yesterday.

Wish we could get Ron Swanson to enter the presidential race.

Hear they’re making a Flintstones reboot. I hope they’ll make it darker and gritier and more realistic. Pebbles probably won’t survive.

Going to be hard to feed Buttercup if she keeps throwing a huge fit every time we take the spoon from her to put more food on it.

How did they teach children to eat from a spoon before the invention of the airplane?

So many of you are saying I need to give in to Buttercup’s terrorist demands and let her hold a spoon while I feed her with the other.