Really excited about my next book. It will be the magnum opus of my ten years of blogging. Definitely funniest book ever.
“We made three mistakes: We hung an innocent man, we didn’t finish the job, and we used ‘infer’ when we meant ‘imply’.”
So Dick Cheney and the Koch brothers – the nexus of right-wing evil – support gay marriage. Hurm.
If a large number of Americans were unable to name our current president, then that would mean we have the best president ever.
My big problem with speed-reading is that I just can’t move my lips that fast.
“You may have defeated the Third Reich, but we’ll live on as stock villains in Hollywood FOREVER!”
Supervillain Loophole: Commit a crime so dastardly it affects everyone on earth, there will be no unbiased jury to prosecute you. For instance, if you block out the sun for a week, there’s no way you could get a fair trial for that.
Don’t follow NBA, so I finally looked up Jeremy Lin. Like a pre-written Hollywood underdog story.
I guarantee the Hollywood version of the Jeremy Lin story will have at least one kung fu fight. Can’t have an Asian star and no kung fu fight.
In that scene near the end of the Firefly pilot, I’m pretty sure Mal Reynolds shoots first but maybe I’m just seeing it wrong.
How dare Chris Christie. Did he learn nothing from the long hard fight to allow fat-person marriage?
“Bear” misspelled one way is aspirin while misspelled another way is paint. That’s dangerous because you don’t want to drink paint when you have a headache.
“I love Michael Bay movies!” -the next Hitler
Liberals are really afraid of the religious imposing their views on the American public because that’s their job.
The best way a man can help feminism is to have sex with lots of women because otherwise those contraceptives are rather pointless.
My dog isn’t religious. She a secular dogist.
Genius baby? Buttercup has advanced language skills for her age. On the other hand, she just threw a blanket on her head and ran into a wall.
Batman is always going after the root causes of crime: criminals’ faces. He solves them with his fist.
So Dick Cheney and the Koch brothers – the nexus of right-wing evil – support gay marriage. Hurm.
Stop it, you’re confusing the leftists…
On the other hand, she just threw a blanket on her head and ran into a wall.
As long as she doesn’t get a bucket stuck on her head, she’ll be fine.
I didn’t pay attention to any of the post past the reference to Hang ‘Em High because I was busy hearing the theme song in my head.
Can’t get too excited over Batman anymore. If Superman and Captain America can turn into pinko anti-American punks, Bats won’t hold out. Soon he’ll only be punching the faces of white guys who make more than $200,000.
Yeah, Frank, the fed guy (Lawrence?) always shot first, you just couldn’t necessarily tell. See, it was a close angle shot and a little confusing, so some fans thought that Mal shot first because they wanted him to be a cold blooded killer.
(The fact that the fed had already shot one innocent victim, was using another as a human shield and was threatening to shoot her too, and was a threat to shoot Simon and Malcom as well in no way changes the fact that Malcom would be a “cold blooded killer” if he had shot first.) In the upcoming Firefly Special Edition™ they’ll reedit it to make it clear that Lawrence shot first.
Quit watching C-Span. Those people are a bad influence on children.
“she just threw a blanket on her head and ran into a wall”
i think that in daughter speak that means, “daddy, buy me a car.”
“I guarantee the Hollywood version of the Jeremy Lin story will have at least one kung fu fight. Can’t have an Asian star and no kung fu fight.”
No, in Hollywood’s version he’ll be black…and played by Cedric the Entertainer.
My lips are moving but the soundtrack has not caught up with this post yet.
“Liberals are really afraid of
the religiousChristians imposing their views on the American public because that’s their job.” FIFM…where by “views,” we mean moral values, or the absence thereof.
Don’t forget that scene in “Serenity” at the Companion House:
Gov Agent: “As you can see, I’m unarmed…”
Mel: “Good!”
BANG!
How does a
chinkAsian American get a name like Jeremy?How come liberals can decide when and who is “offended” by something and yet they have no problem referring to us white people as “red necks” and nobody decides that we’re “offended” ? Not that we are, just like Asians who don’t tend to whine either but just like everything
else, the usual double standard.
Adrian Tam (his Spiritual Adviser o_o) gives the Herald the skinny on Jeremy Lin:
I’m sure when ESPN finds out he’s one of…those people, the guy will get his job back.
Your comment is awaiting moderation. >:[ censorship!1!!!1!!!
PS: why didn’t the editor who allowed the offennnnnnnnnnnsive headline get fired too?
try the toddler version of spin the bottle. Twirle Buttercup around real fast then yell “Go run and give mommie a kiss” Loads of fun until the misses finds out or until it comes out in therapy years later.
Religious imposing views on other people gosh I would have never thought of that…Wow I think I’ll try that. Just have to come up with a catchy name for it.
And the number one thing you will NEVER hear Barry say is:
Minorities have to have the resilience to move on and to have an attitude of forgiveness so the root of bitterness doesn’t grow in our hearts.
Number one thing you’ll NEVER hear on MSDNC:
It’s about time we had an Asian president!
The old Redneck was very niggardly with his chinking so his log cabin wasn’t very warm.
Now which of these words are we sure nobody will find offennnnnnsive?
“chinking” is the stuff you jam between your logs, by the way, in case none of you stupid redneck crackers know that.
Expect new warning labels advising against ingesting bears to relieve headaches, and discouraging the use of ursids as paint rollers.
FrankJ:
Random thought – I am starting to think November 6, 2012 might not be a super happy fun day for you.
Best Regards,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Andrew Klavan, Multiculturalism Explained.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9POkP2oCFhA&feature=related
Mal did fire first. Allowing the bad guy to fire first, especially when he has a gun to the head of one of your crew, is just dumb. He might not miss. And if George Lucas had any brains, he have left it alone.
“My country, right or wrong,” is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, “My mother, drunk or sober.”
― G.K. Chesterton, The Wisdom Of Father Brown