[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]
Here’s the People’s Cube official list:
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Here are suggestions for new, modernized Olympic events:
• The High Tax Jump
• Non-Fencing Along The Southern Border
• Synchronized Astroturfing
• Long Jump Followed By The Guilt Trip
• “Critical Mass” Cycling In Traffic
• Underwater Mortgage Payments
• Unemployment Line Standing
• Filling Out Applications For Gov’t Aid
• Demanding Healthcare Reform Now!
• Police Car Pooping
Among Obama-inspired events:
• Speed-Bowing
• Teleprompter Dancing
• Extreme Fingerpointing
• Apology Tourism
• Synchronized Fainting
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…and it just keeps getting better in the comments.
Also, that picture of John Kerry is priceless.
I think the next Olympics should be held in HELL.
The new events like Skiing down a erupting volcano, hurdling over Demons, Cliff diving into the River Styx and DecaPalon would be very exciting. We might even see see Ted Kennedy in a swimming competition and Adolf Hitler bowling for Goblins. I sure miss them both don’t you?
Its also possible that many of our current Liberal Democrats will be there in the stands watching the events. That is if they don’t take over Hell for themselves and kick Satan out.
My favorite Progressive Olympic events:
* Synchronized Lying
* 100m Stash Dash
* 200m Cowboy Medley
* TSA Groping Marathon
* Carbon Footprint Sudden Death Eliminator
The Opening Ceremonies could feature Occupy Drummers (and they wouldn’t stop until the Closing Ceremonies….if then) and some random nonsense chanting. Instead of a PA system they would use the Occupy “human microphone”.