So the left is freaking out over Romney’s 47% statement, and they’re convinced since they’re freaking out, other people than left-wing weirdos must care. This is pretty unlikely. So far, they’ve called a number of things Romney has said “gaffes” but they haven’t moved the polls any. So what could Romney say that would actually sink his campaign? Here’s some examples I thought of:
GAFFES THAT WOULD SINK THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN
“It shouldn’t be a crime for me to murder people with less money than me. Especially if they’re gay.”
“I sure love saying the n-word.”
“Let’s not be so hasty as to throw out all of Hitler’s ideas.”
“From now on, Ann Romney will wear a burka so that maybe the Middle East will like us.”
“How do you like my new mustache? It’s awesome; I think it makes me look like Stalin.”
“If elected president, I will lead the country in whatever direction the sacred leader of Mormonism, Mormonthor, tells me to.”
“Let me take back my statements supporting Israel; I didn’t realize that country was so full of Jews.”
“I’ve decided for campaign music we’ll be using nothing but Nickelback.”
“I’m just going to go ahead and say what Todd Akin never had the guts to: Women love rape.”
“Back in 2008, I voted for Obama.”
That may actually garner him some votes from the Democrats, but it may be offset by the loss in Republican votes.
Another thing he could could say is “I plan to fire half of all Federal employees!” Oh please, Mormonthor, let that happen!
Even the Wall Street Jourmal said Mr. Mitt needs those po’ folk votes. Math not working for him today?
You know Ronnie Reagan could have given any of these with that mischievous smirk and all the right people’s heads would explode and the rest of us check to see how long before we could vote for him again.
I miss him.
11. “My macaca opponent…”
12. “YEEAAAAARRRRGH”
“My opponent is a racist, communist thug with visions of grandeur.”
“Actually, I despise Muslims.”
“Nancy Pelosi can kiss my big Mormon butt!”
13. “I ain’t in no way ti’rd”
14. “Even though incompetent, I still think that Barack is clean and articulate.”
15. “Vista is da bomb!”
“It’s true! Joe Biden had a lobotomy!”
“Not only are we going to repeal Obamacare, we’re going to abolish Medicare and line-up your grand parents and force them over a cliff.”
“After we’re done flogging gays, we’re going to wage war on women who have abortions and eliminate all their ‘entitlements.'”
“I support equal employment opportunities and non-discrimination policies…and I plan to put as many minorities as possible to work pulling the golden chariots of my Mormon army or excavating the marble neccessary to erect a mighty pyramid in my honor just outside of Salt Lake City.”
He probably said one or all of these during the missing 2 minutes of his 47% video.
Yes, Timm Yenmor is the name of my serial killer alter ego, but you aren’t voting for him, chumps.
@Dohtimes – that’s no deal breaker – Timm Yenmor would still get my vote before Obama would.
” I’m sure glad I spent so much time on skin peels to lose that Hispanic look.”
“We’re just in it to challange that whole “Once you go black you never go back” thing.”
“Are you kidding me? The FIRST thing I’m gonna’ do is invite Prince Andrew & Duchess Kate…and make SURE their room has a balcony !!!”
I think this one might be true.
If I tried hard, I might be able to break Obama’s record…