Coming Attractions

MexicanBorderAttractionSome of you have figured out what Frank is up to.

It’s true: he’s closing the deal on the new IMAOWorld amusement park.

Now, we’re not certain where the park will be located — at least, I’m not; Harvey, Mr. Right, Keln, and Lactose don’t tell me everything — but wherever it is, I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun.

I mention this because of a new attraction at an amusement park in Hidalgo. Now, I thought Hidalgo was a horse or something, but it turns out it’s an area of Mexico. My research (I googled it) reveals that Hidalgo is actually a state and is full of Mexicans, so it must be that country’s version of California.

About that new amusement park attraction. The park is called Parque EcoAlberto, which is Mexican for some kind of park or something. Heck, I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what some of the idiots I deal with on a daily basis are talking about, and they sorta speak English.

But, about the attraction. It’s a fake border crossing, according to PBS, but it’s to try and discourage people from attempting to cross the border.

Maribel Garcia works as an administrator for the park. She says the purpose of the Night Walk is simple.

“Our objective is to stop the immigration that exists amongst our citizens, principally from the state of Mexico to the U.S.,” Garcia said in Spanish.

Of course, if she really said it in Spanish, she probably said something like “Nuestro objetivo es detener la inmigración que existe entre nuestros ciudadanos, principalmente del estado de México a los EE.UU.,” or something sorta like that; I don’t speak Spanish. Anyway, I’m not sure whether or not to believe PBS.

So, they have an amusement park in Mexico that has a border crossing attraction.

What should we have in the new IMAOWorld park that would counter that? A Mexi-Cannon?

What would be the best border crossing-themed attraction at IMAOWorld?

18 Comments

  1. Our objective is to stop the immigration that exists amongst our citizens

    Should they want to stop their citizens from emigrating? I’m a bit confused. Perhaps they should just use migration.

  2. “What should we have in the new IMAOWorld park that would counter that?”

    a Pelosi-saw
    a Reid-a-thon
    Michelle game
    Barry-Go-Round
    Carney-val!!!
    ACORN dogs
    Jill Biden’s Sloppy Joes

    Whack-a-Mule
    Whirling TSA-cups

    Simulation of a PETA meeting
    Simulation of listening to Obama speak every day
    Simulation of waiting in line at a Motor Vehicles office

  3. Miniature Golf (– for when you’re supposed to be at your miniature desk making a miniature impact.)

    Speaker Boehner’s Front Tear Land

    “Guess Your Wait” (–for embassy officials under attack)

    Michelle’s Big Top

    The Greatest Country In The World’s Giant Slide

  4. Fast and Furious Shootin’ Gallery

    “American Economy” coaster, now running in reverse until at least 2016!

    Smugglin’ Tunnels Underground Border Maze Funhouse

    Home Depot Parking Lot Simulator

    Don’t forget to get your “Gang of Eight Amnesty Bill Speed-Pass!” Skip ahead of all those suckers waiting in line for legal immigration!

  5. o gee, so many . . . House of Horrors, with pictures of Hillary and Pelosi and Reid and Feinstein, nekked. Also Barney Frank!

    IRS Maze. Armed agents hiding in each dead end, and there is no exit.

    Fairway games in which you can win valuable prizes!
    * Guess the number of federal agencies with their own swat team!
    * Guess the number of pages in the new bill!
    * Test Your Strength – we’ll put the EPA, the IRS, OSHA and more on your back. How many agencies can hang on your back before you finally fall?!?

  6. A Giant Uncle Sam with teats filled with milk. Sanitation may be an issue…just fill them with tequila.

    A ride with no line where they get to walk by and laugh at all the suckers standing in lines.

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