Wicked Witches Hate Libertarians (and Their Little Dogs, Too)

[High Praise! to DamnCat (and bacon to CarolynTheMommy, who also suggested it)]

[ref 1,ref 2]

Who’s In Charge of the IRS?

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

You have to admit, the resemblance is uncanny.

In the sense that they both have an insanely overdeveloped sense of self-righteousness.

[reference link]

You Scandalers Are Driving Him Crazy!

During the morning briefing, Jay Carney compared asking questions about White House scandals to asking for the President’s birth certificate.

Nah, completely different. No one’s ever questioned where the scandals originated.

Obama’s Umbrella Incident Was Not an Isolated Occurrence

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Link of the Day: President Joe and The Pretty Good Day

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

President Joe and The Pretty Good Day

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Thrones Overreach Mole Shyamalan Claifornia

You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “President Obama will support Hillary in 2016 because…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Your Tax Dollars Hard at Work

In Baltimore, schools spent federal stimulus money on mother/daughter makeovers.

Never thought I’d read a story like that without the word “Kardashian” in it somewhere.

Arrested Development Season 4

Man, I do not get the people who were not absolutely thrilled by this fourth season of Arrested Development Netflix gave us. I mean, it’s more of the one of the greatest sitcoms ever, and if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted, it seems a bit like looking a gift horse in the mouth.

But SarahK and I absolutely loved it. Maybe part of it was expectations. I knew they were having trouble getting all the cast together — they all have other shows and projects now — and that the original idea was ten episodes, each one focusing on one character and catching us up with him or her before they do an Arrested Development movie. So I was looking at these episodes as like a little bonus — more like a DVD extra. So I was delighted to find out it was in fact a full season (in fact, much bigger than their third season). Yes, the main characters aren’t all together very much, but we still got so much of the humor we loved in the series in the first place. And the way the episodes run in parallel and unfolds like layers was brilliant; I’m really looking forward to a second viewing as I assume there are a bunch of jokes you won’t get until you’ve finished the season and now know the story behind everything.

And some people seem upset about how it ends, but the ideas is this is one act of three with either a movie or more Netflix seasons being acts two and three. Man, that better happen. Long live the Bluth family.

Oh, and now word is Dan Harmon is returning to Community. Great comedies are resurrecting everywhere. Now we just need some Firefly news…

Obama Warned Us – Ambition

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jul. 12, 2006

“That’s why I focus on TAKING your bucks”.

Happy Birthday? Inconceivable!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics has a birthday card for Frank J.

If you’ve ever seen “The Princess Bride”, you should go over there and “sign the card”.

Thanks for the Happy Birthday Wishes!

But if I don’t have a happy birthday, I will blame it on those who didn’t wish it so and my vengeance will be unstoppable.

Anyway, get yourself a present for my birthday and buy my books.

Straight Line of the Day: Frank J. Turns 34 Today. How Should He Celebrate His Birthday?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Frank J. turns 34 today. How should he celebrate his birthday?

We Will Get Our Answers

Know what I love about our massive government? When something goes wrong, it’s so easy to find out who was behind it.

But seriously, everyone in the IRS seems to be refusing to answer where the orders to target the Tea Party came from. Well, I’ll tell you what to do. These are government employees. When they were given power over others in the government, this should have been balanced out by a lost of some of their rights, i.e., it should be perfectly okay to take them in a back room and waterboard them until they tell us absolutely everything. I mean, really, you think you in the IRS can just forcefully take my money and then not owe me straight answers to absolutely every question asked of your job? I want all that information squeezed out of them through any means necessary and then have them deported to a special colony in Antarctica where we never have to look at any of them ever again.

Of course, you know what the Democrats’ answer to all this is: We need to give the IRS more money. Yes, we just need to throw money at them and hope that works as a bribe to stop them from trampling our rights. And similarly, we need to make sure we give muggers more money so maybe they’ll stop brutalizing us.

Sorry, there is only one thing they should get more of: beatings. If they think they can wield the power of the government against us and not be answerable to us in the United States of America, then I say no mercy for them. If I don’t soon hear the anguished cries of IRS employees, then are elected officials are useless.

Random Thoughts: Red Wedding, 3D Printers, and the IRS

Not that long ago, birth control didn’t even exist. Now having to walk to the corner Walgreens and buy it yourself is worse than slavery.

So can I talk about the Red Wedding without it being spoilers now? Been so waiting for the TV show watchers to catch up to this point.

The imaginary political opponents in your head sound awful. You should fight them with medication.

I could actually only find one iPhone woodblock app, and if you finished season 4 of AD, you can guess what the reviews are like.

Even though I don’t watch the series, I was really looking forward to yesterday’s episode of Game of Thrones airing.

Does no one honor the laws of hospitality anymore?!

Until the whole federal government is dismantled and all politicians are in prison, I’ll worry about scandal underreach.

I wonder how a 3D printer in every home would affect China’s cheap plastic trinket market share.

Yeah, the 3D printer is going to be a pretty disruptive technology as more people get one. Interesting days ahead.

Guns are okay, but call me when they can 3D print working bullets.

Is that sequester thing still going on or are we done with that?

Have conservatives tried asking themselves why the IRS hates them?

We just have to give more money to the IRS to get them to stop targeting us. Same works for muggers.

The problem with the Affordable Care Act is that apparently it was determined we could all afford to pay more.

I like freedom. What’s a good country for that?

Compromise idea: Amnesty for illegals in exchange for deporting everyone who works for the IRS.

Walder Frey says he has nothing to do with the Red Wedding and that it was planned by low level employees in Cincinnati.

The next step for the IRS was to start murdering Americans, but they couldn’t afford their plans because of the sequester.

Readers of Game of Thrones weren’t being nice not giving spoilers of the Red Wedding; they just wanted to see your shock and misery.

Idea to promote racial equality in the Republican Party: Everyone wear hoods so no one can know your race.

What? Racists already ran with the hood idea? That’s stupid. How would that help them?

“Organic” means it contains pig organs.