You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to Caffeine Withdrawal Has Been Classified as a Mental Disorder. Next to Be So Classified…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

If Only R. Lee Ermey Had Been at That Press Conference

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

Argument Over! The Best Handgun Caliber Is…

[High Praise! to A Trainwreck in Maxwell]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #44,137)

Personally, I still say the best caliber is whichever one that’s in the firearm you actually have on you when you need it.

DHS Approved

[High Praise! to Irritable Pundit]

Liberty: How Obama Blows It

[High Praise! to Jimmy and After Math]


[full size pic]

Link of the Day: TSA Uniform Allowance Cutbacks

[High Praise! to Gang Aft Agley]

The last suit you’ll ever wear…

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)

Wisdom of the Day: Beard Fish Purge Chocolate Tattoo Invisible Spider

The Downside of PRISM

[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons]

Obama Warned Us – Values

If we aren’t willing to pay a price for our values, then we should ask ourselves whether we truly believe in them at all.

BARACK OBAMA, The Audacity of Hope

“Uhhhh… nope.”

Obama Doesn’t Necessarily Want to Destroy Your Business

Obama has clarified his position saying, we “don’t want to tax all businesses out of business.” It’s good he did this, but it would be easy to get confused seeing Obamacare and the other taxes Obama has asked for and think, “This guy wants to destroy all business.” But I’m guessing at some point an account went up to Obama and said, “See; look at these numbers here: If we destroy all businesses, we’ll get zero in tax dollars.” And Obama was probably all like, “But I love tax dollars! That’s why I told the IRS to harass the Tea Party and get more tax dollars out of them!” And the accountant was like, “Then you’d better change your policy.” So Obama thought about it and was all, “What if I just tax most businesses our of business but keep a few around to pay me money?” And the accountant was probably silent a moment and then said, “I’ll have to run the numbers on that.”

So anyway, if you like your business, you may potentially get to keep it.

Straight Line of the Day: A Russian Woman Volunteered to Go on a One-Way Trip to Mars. Also Going…

[High Praise! to Conservatarian]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A Russian woman volunteered to go on a one-way trip to Mars. Also going…

We’re Giving Government Secrets to Ron Paul Fans?

So almost as disturbing as the mass surveillance the government is doing on all of us, apparently the government decided to trust its most precious secrets in the hands of a Ron Paul fan. I mean, I wouldn’t trust a Ron Paul fan to fetch donuts, and they’re giving him all the government’s secrets. You’d think some of the basic screening before giving someone a clearance would include asking, “Describe Ron Paul.” And if the person answered, “He’s the Thomas Jefferson of our day,” then they’d get him out of there as fast as possible.

I mean nothing against Ron Paul, but he’s crazy and his fans are even crazier.

…Which doesn’t mean they’re wrong about the government, unfortunately. Anyway, I’m putting “NSA: Do not read this email” at the top of all my emails, because I assume there is some sort of opt out on this thing. I mean, I don’t want the government stealing my next book idea. I am fine with them reading all the Obama bashing I do in private, though, and I hope they pass it on to Obama. He should know what I’m thinking and feel bad about himself.

Random Thoughts: Spying and Rights

Obama: “I’m a pretty reasonable guy, and thus all my searches and seizures are reasonable.”

Obama: “I never read all the Bill of Rights, but I got the gist of it.”

When I thought of national intelligence, I thought of Jack Bauer torturing people, but now I have this unseemly vision of it in my head.

The only one who should be mass spying on everyone is Batman.

I assume they put an actual pole where the South Pole should be plus a sign that says, “Sorry; Santa is at other one.”

We caused the government to spy on us with our not trusting it.

“Oh, the NSA is run by US? Then which is the Russian intelligence agency?” -President Obama, on top of things

I’m just regular libertarian crazy, not “Ron Paul-fan” crazy.

If you wanted privacy in your communications, then you’d blink Morse code at each other.

If it will help stop terrorists, I don’t mind if the NSA reads my emails as long as they don’t read the ones I mark “NSA Don’t Read”.

So if I want to be like an armed hipster, do I conceal carry a musket?

And with everyone focused on Tebow, Obama’s Scandalanche is officially over.

I can’t believe NASA is spying on our phone calls! And you can’t go and complain because they’re up in that space station.

If these spying programs are necessary, show me a pile of terrorist skulls that are a result of it.

There are over six billion foreigners out there, and it’s only agencies like the NSA that keep them from eating us.

Man of Steel opens this Friday, known to most as “The Superman Movie” or “Please Don’t Suck.”

Conservatives never trusted the government. That why we only like it when its abuses are unleashed on terrorists.

I’m writing a children’s song called “There’s Nothing Worse Than Whining.” What rhymes with “Hitler”?

YGDFT!YLTATSOTE! – The Wrap-Up

I’ve had a few discussions with some loyal readers who are a little uncomfortable with the “censored obscenity” aspect of YGDFT!YLTATSOTE!, and – oddly enough for a guy who was in the Navy and was once the personification of “swear like a sailor” – I agree that it may well be time to put this running gag out to pasture.

Now, I know better than to say “everybody has to stop saying YGDFT!YLTATSOTE! right now!”, because Moon Nukers are a rebellious and michievous lot, and don’t take kindly to being told what to do. So all I’ll say about it is that I won’t be actively encouraging it anymore. No more bacon for leaving it in the comments, and no more “X Hates Libertarians” pictures.

But before I do that, I want to clear out the pile of pictures in my inbox. Meanwhile, feel free to YGDFT!YLTATSOTE! it up in the comments on this post and get it out of your system.

And, of course, tofu to that dour, dreary, boring, wet-blanket Carpenter and his dull, repetitive anti-libertarian screedery.

_______________

From Eric Praline:

Queen Victoria is not amused by Libertarians

From Les of Nuking Politics:

Carpenter’s Thing (NSFW) hates Libertarians

From Kris:

Obama Heckler hates Libertarians

From Derek of Awesometific American:

Ron Paul hates Libertarians (I know, right? I was as surprised as you)

And a whole slew of ’em from Capitalist_B:


Lord Eddard Stark hates Libertarians


Luke Skywalker hates Libertarians (and his father)


Beyonce hates Libertarians (and her publicist, and the internet)


Deflating Duck hates Libertarians


Pond scum hates Libertarians (actual quote from actual pond scum)


Saruman… big fan of Libertarians, actually


Carpenter’s girlfriend hates Libertarians


Overlord Mantee hates Libertarians


Sudden Clarity Clarence just realized he hates Libertarians


Grumpy Cat… well, he kinda hates everyone (he may actually BE Carpenter)

And finally…


Boromir Hates Libertarian Captions
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Thanks to everyone who’s played along for the last few weeks, and – as Ayn Rand would say – God bless you:


[YouTube direct link]