They’re Different, Not Better

[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]
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At the bottom of everything, if salvation will come at all, it will come, as someone (sorry, I can’t remember who) said in the comments “from a butterfly flapping its wings somewhere.”

What this means is, that our elites are in many ways very stodgy people. First, as I said, they most of them suffer from 3rd generation blight. They were eased through life. They never met real challenge. They’re not the most creative people around.

So… they’re carefully trying to close off every avenue of creativity and prosperity that individuals can create. But they’re not us. They don’t really “get” us. They’re like the aristocrats of the ancient regime, very good at the life of Versailles, but ignorant of how the real world works. I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts most of them never MET a working class person in their lives. Not to talk to. They’ve perhaps had short conversations with working class people in the service professions when handing in dry cleaning or ordering an espresso. That’s it.

And they’ve certainly never met people like us who are competent with our minds and our hands: and this is (I think) still most of America. We are or can be competent in both realms. And we don’t blush to use our hands.

So, they’ll miss stuff.
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Be Secure in Your Person, Papers, and Houses – Just Not From the Government

[High Praise! to Dude!!! I Want That…]

Probably not adequate protection from jackbooted thugs with acronyms on their shoulder patches, but this should help keep out the freelance criminals.

$20 from Amazon

Speaking for myself, any question of its effectiveness aside, I admire the simple elegance of its design.

Which I’m sure Obama would be quick to point out that somebody didn’t build.

Obama Warned Us – Race

There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America; there’s the United States of America.

BARACK OBAMA, Of Thee I Speak: A Collection of Patriotic Quotes

“Interestingly though, there is no Congressional White Caucus or Congressional Latino Caucus or Congressional Asian Caucus or Congressional United Caucus. There IS, however, a Congressional Black Caucus. Huh. Go figure.”

Load up the B-Ark

hhgttg_b-arkThere are three planets surrounding a star some 22 light-years away that might be habitable.

In Scorpio, right around the tip of the tail, there is a cluster of three stars. Now, it looks to the naked eye like a very faint star, but it’s really three stars. Stars are sneaky that way, so be careful.

Anyway, those three stars are called Gliese 667. We call them that. I don’t know what the people there call them. Probably “Star” if they speak English. Or “Bright Sky Thingy.” Around Gliese 667C, the smallest star of that group, are five planets that we know of. And — here’s the kicker — three those planets may be habitable.

Why is that important? Well, our Earth has is threatened by coal, and those doggone conservatives are determined to destroy the Earth with it.

Now, as a conservative, I want to apologize for our vile evil plans to destroy the planet with coal and Bible-thumping and gun-clinging and all those dangerous things we conservatives do. And, every since Bush used Karl Rove’s time machine to go back in time and start Global Warming all those centuries ago, the Earth has been doomed.

So, how do we make it right? Well, there are three planets around Gliese 667C that could support life. And, I say we let the liberals have them. All three of them.

NASA is just sitting around, outreaching to the Moslems, and not doing space stuff anymore, but there’s no reason they couldn’t built three big arks to hold the best of the human race. Let’s load up the B-Ark with Barack Obama (we even call it the “B” Ark, after “Barack”) and all his supporters (it’ll be a really big Ark) and send them off to Gliese 667C. They’ll pick the best of the three planets and settle there, then, once they’re settled in, having set up a super awesome socialist planetary government like they all want, we’ll send off the other two Arks.

I’ll stay here amongst the coal and the thumped Bibles and the clung-to guns and just be miserable. I deserve it.

Liberals cheer victory for States Rights

ConstitutionThe Supreme Court of the United State struck down the part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that called for the federal government to deny benefits to same-sex couples married in states that recognize same-sex marriage. In other words: States Rights.

Now, the SCOTUS ruling is being cheered by the left. I’m not seeing a lot of news reports about cheering from the right. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe no one in the media is asking conservatives what they think about it. Or, maybe they’re just asking conservatives who don’t understand what the ruling means.

Now, the four conservatives on the Court were in the minority in the Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling. Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, in his dissent, argued that the case in question was not a question for the Supreme Court.

So, what we now have is the four liberals and the squish on the Supreme Court issuing a ruling that effectively says the states, not the federal government, define what marriage is. And we have a bunch of liberals cheering it.

We have a lot of Democrats that voted for the Defense of Marriage Act cheering its gutting.

I’m wondering: what other conservative causes can we get the liberals to embrace?

Homophobes Were Born That Way Too

Now that the Supreme Court has shut down DOMA, the inevitable consequences must inevitably follow.  Here are some of the less publicized consequences:

  • People who wear white after Labor Day will be put in the stocks and mocked mercilessly.
  • This day in history will be commemorated now and forevermore as Judy Garland Day.
  • Congress will declare that everyone has the right to glitter bombs.
  • All federal documents will now have to be written in both English and Lisp.
  • Glee will never be cancelled.
  • In addition to the traditional opening prayer, church services will be required to start all meetings with a lip synch from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
  • Now that the fabric of society has been altered, Obama is going to have to go back and reorganize all of those communities.
  • Modern Family will add polyamorous and polygamous families to the show to begin paving the way for the next constitutional marriage challenges.
  • George Takei will finally feel comfortable coming out of the closet and admitting that he isn’t gay after all but just really, really weird.
  • Gay men will begin to demand the right to have a womb.  Its design and implantation will be covered by Obamacare.
  • Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
  • The National Anthem will be replaced with Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
  • Brokeback Mountain Goat will receive an Oscar for best motion picture and begin paving the way for the next constitutional marriage challenges.
  • The wait to reserve a decent wedding chapel just got that much longer.
  • Bloody fights will erupt over which of the grooms’ fathers will have to foot the bill for the wedding.
  • A new industry will arise around same sex divorces and prenup agreements.
  • A whole trove of legal precedents will arise concerning who has the rights to the Lady Gaga paraphernalia in a divorce.
  • A new series of Twilight novels will pave the way for the next constitutional marriage challenges.