On the 12^th day of Christmas, Obama gave to me:

$12,000 annual deductible

11 auditors a-persecuting

10 senators a-lying

9 navigators a-napping

8 ambassadors a-bowing

7 Volts a-burning

6 gays a-wedding

5 months of taxes

4 shifting goalposts

3 French roast hot chocolates

2 turtleneck tartan PJs

And a website that stole my identity.