27 Comments

  1. …their junk past a pat down.

    …a four ounce bottle of stain remover for Bill Clinton’s traveling secretary.

    …a suitcase full of clowns. And a car.

    …all the living, and all the remains of Elizabeth Warren’s Native American ancestors.

  2. At airports doing undercover TSA testing, authorities successfully smuggled…

    …a deck of race cards.

    …a box of Krispy Kreme glazed donuts.

    …an earthquake that registered 8.3 on the richter scale. Then they smuggled the resulting tsunami as well.

  3. …anything at all. All you have to do is shout “Allah Akbar” or “Death to America” during screening and you’ll be waved right through. Can’t be racially profiling now, can we?

  4. …a badly beaten TSA agent with a smelly finger.

    …a great big hole surrounded by Hillary Clinton’s pant suit.

    …a giant sized inside-the-can-can-opener.

    …four Double Naught spies and a working model of Inspector Gadget’s hat.

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