For fun, I’d sometimes Sonny Bunch the kids and argue Team Rocket are really the good guys. Made my daughter so mad that wife made me stop.
The Trump presidency has become so exhausting. Can you believe we have well over seven more years of this?
Rompers are now the de facto uniform of the #RESISTANCE
Both Trump and Hillary were treated horribly during the election.
That’s not to say they were treated unfairly, though.
Trump’s agenda is constantly being undermined by the deep state, the secret, underwater government led by Aquaman.
“This is just like from the Handmaiden’s Tale when Bob Handmaiden fought Dumbledore!” -modern political commentary
I’m at the “I’m sorry I made fun of Jeb” stage.
My sources are telling me that what the FBI found so exonerates Trump that he’s going to be reverse-impeached and serve two extra years.
I pretended to be Supreme Court Justice and hung out in their cafeteria and heard they’ve obtained the dark orb that nullifies pardon power.
Only hope I had of Trump presidency is that he might lose his temper and bite someone like the Saudi King in the face.
I want a president who’d chuck the Saudis’ stupid medal in their faces and say, “We don’t need you! We’ll make our own oil using SCIENCE!”
We keep saying “Read another book!” when people make Harry Potter political references, but are we sure they didn’t just watch the movie?
Why didn’t Saruman just show up in person?
Finally, making a Harry Potter political reference would actually be appropriate.
You just can’t visit Saudi Arabia and have any dignity, can you?
Every breaking story for this next week better be orb related.
What if the Dow skyrockets tomorrow? We’d have to assume it’s because of the power of the orb. TRUMP MUST STEAL THE ORB!
Will people stop doubting Trump now? Any lesser president would have been destroyed by the orb.
Remember when Obama refused to touch the orb because he feared the darkness inside? But Trump embraced the darkness. He is stronger now.
Don’t take any of this as an endorsement of the orb’s dark power; I’m just trying to analyze the political ramifications.
I would rank Trump’s “I shall control the orb; it shall not control me” speech as his most presidential so far.
It was weird how at Norte Dame Pence screamed “TRUMP HAS DOOMED US BY TOUCHING THE ORB!” and the students were right to walk out on him.
People are calling Trump a hypocrite using his old tweets about how no one should ever touch the orb, but you have to understand the context.
CNN is reporting that staring into the orb has driven Trump mad. This is more fake news.
Some are saying that Trump’s vow to destroy all who question the orb is unconstitutional. If so, our Constitution should be disregarded.
The Constitution was written by weak-willed fools who doubted the power of the orb. They are dead now. But the orb lives.
Ranks ranked:
5. Colonel
4. Admiral
3. Commander
2. Sergeant
1. Moff
My sources are telling me the Supreme Court justices are going to form together into one giant justice and fight Trump.
If Sean Hannity were fatter and I were meaner, I’d call him “Sean Manatee.”
The orb was the 7th Dragonball and they were summoning Shenron in order to wish Goku back to life to defeat ISIS.
Talk about beating a dead orb…
Orbed from “Nuke It.” (It was the only way to be sure.)
Trump is the Bizarro Obama and the orb is “bro” backwards.
Pelosi is going to come after it with her giant novelty croquet mallet. (That was no gavel.) She’ll play against Croqueted Hillary.
Trump’s approach is Obama’s rearranged: trailblazing vs. tribalizing.
“… But you’re missing an ‘l’. ”
“That’s because Trump got the l out of there.”
—
Re: the orb:
And I thought Obama was the Sleeper president.
Hmm. Trump is also Bizarro Reagan:
“Mister Orb Bush-shove, build that wall!”
(Sort of a humble Dontendre)
Actually they were using it to try and contact the necromancer Sauron…known to us today as Soros.
“I’m at the “I’m sorry I made fun of Jeb” stage.”
seriously, ANY of them would be at 20% approval, we’d have SUPER OBAMACARE passing the senate, the 2nd Amendment would already have been repealed, Van Jones would be the Chief Justice, white slavery would be legal, nuns would be required to perform abortions, on and on.
This really was the only way out of the trap, where republicans just keep the seat warm for the next real president.
ANY. OF. THEM.
What will you do with the opportunity now, throw it away as far as possible by wishing for some hardcore loser like JEB!?
I’m still optimistic. I notice the things Trump’s NOT being accused of: rising unemployment, rising gas prices, falling stock market, making things easier for terrorists… Obama was a champ at all of those.
I am with Kurt Schlichter on this…
“Looking at it objectively, as a guy who opposed Trump until he dispatched Ted Cruz, I have to consider all the facts and ponder the evidence carefully before awarding Donald Trump the grade of A+. He has done an incredible job of doing exactly what I had hoped he would do in the off chance he defeated that naggy harridan and her corps of gender indeterminate hipsters, coastal snobs, race hustlers, aspiring libfascists, media scum, and wussy pseudo-conservatives terrified that a Hillary loss would mean people might expect them to do more than wear bow ties and go on NPR to prattle about Burke in their high-pitched, nasal voices.
There can be no serious debate. Donald Trump has done a truly outstanding job of not being Hillary Clinton.”
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