There I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly I was set upon by a couple of detestables (although in India they’re known as untouchables). Fortunately with some assistance from my faithful body servant Uma I was able to fend them off. No doubt these villains had been hired by middleclass white women on the orders of their husbands or sons to kidnap me so I can’t run for president again. And that’s the truth!
There I was in I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly the sixteen bottles of Kalyani Black label I had drank (in order to wash down the curried goat I had for lunch) began to kick in. Fortunately my entourage led by my my girl Friday and confidant Uma were able to assist in getting me to a hospital and after having my stomach pumped I was able to make a full recovery. I guess fifteen should be my limit on Kalyanis and absolutely no more curried goat. And that’s the truth.
There I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly a sniper (obviously hired by the Trump administration, or perhaps the DNC) opened fire on me. My body guards quickly rushed to my assistance. However due to my finely honed and might I add president like abilities to dodge and weave, I was able to avoid his bullets without their assistance. Just when I thought I had the situation under control a major earthquake struck the area. In all this confusion my body guards (still not realizing my awesome dodging and weaving powers) tried to whisk me to safety. Suddenly the building from which the sniper was firing collapsed burying him under tons of rubble. Finally as the quake subsided and with the firing stopped I was able to take full control of the situation and immediately began to direct rescue efforts to save the hundreds of people trapped under the rubble. With all the damage here it looks like this just might be another job for the Clinton Foundation….and that’s the truth.
There I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly I was set upon by a couple of detestables (although in India they’re known as untouchables). Fortunately with some assistance from my faithful body servant Uma I was able to fend them off. No doubt these villains had been hired by middleclass white women on the orders of their husbands or sons to kidnap me so I can’t run for president again. And that’s the truth!
There I was in I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly the sixteen bottles of Kalyani Black label I had drank (in order to wash down the curried goat I had for lunch) began to kick in. Fortunately my entourage led by my my girl Friday and confidant Uma were able to assist in getting me to a hospital and after having my stomach pumped I was able to make a full recovery. I guess fifteen should be my limit on Kalyanis and absolutely no more curried goat. And that’s the truth.
There I was in deepest darkest India descending a flight of stairs when suddenly a sniper (obviously hired by the Trump administration, or perhaps the DNC) opened fire on me. My body guards quickly rushed to my assistance. However due to my finely honed and might I add president like abilities to dodge and weave, I was able to avoid his bullets without their assistance. Just when I thought I had the situation under control a major earthquake struck the area. In all this confusion my body guards (still not realizing my awesome dodging and weaving powers) tried to whisk me to safety. Suddenly the building from which the sniper was firing collapsed burying him under tons of rubble. Finally as the quake subsided and with the firing stopped I was able to take full control of the situation and immediately began to direct rescue efforts to save the hundreds of people trapped under the rubble. With all the damage here it looks like this just might be another job for the Clinton Foundation….and that’s the truth.
Just another example of a Democrat going full bipedal. Never go full bipedal if you’re a modern day Democrat.
Gin and tectonics don’t mix.