Archive of entries posted on 16th March 2018

Signs (on the Border Wall) – (Song Parody)

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High Praise! to Walruskkkch]

Signs (on the Border Wall) (to the tune of “Signs” by The Five Man Electrical Band)

And the sign says, “Go to a consulate and for a green card apply.”
But you didn’t want to bother with that and you want to ask us why.
We’ll say, “You’ll depress our economy and try to bring in all your family too.”
So you took off your mask and said, “Imagine that! Huh… and we’ll vote for Democrats too!” Woah-oh-oh.

Chorus:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Explaining our policies. Saying “Don’t break our laws”.
Believe this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?

And the sign says, “Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight”
So you jumped on the fence and yelled at the White House,
“Hey! What gives you the right… To put up a fence to keep me out,
“To Make America Great Again?”
“If Pelosi was here, She’d tell it to your face. ‘Man, that’s not a politcal winner.'”

Chorus:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Explaining our policies. Saying “Don’t break our laws”.
Believe this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?

“Oh, say now mister, can’t you read?
“You got to have a green card, let me repeat.
“You can’t stay, not even in a sanctuary city. You ain’t supposed to be here!”
The sign says, “You gotta have a visa to get inside.” Hooh!

And the sign says “Everybody’s welcome to come in who has a legal right to stay.”
But when you pass the border patrol, you know you better pray.
Cause ICE will come and end your stay.
So when they do and send you back you should take it as a sign.
You should stay where you are or you might end up doing time.

Chorus x2:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Explaining our policies. Saying “Don’t break our laws”.
Believe this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?

Icebreaker: What Was Your Favorite Subject At School?

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Having finished “The 25 most popular icebreaker questions based on four years of data” and enjoyed the results, I’m moving on to a new list:

76 Fun Icebreaker Questions (Not all of which will be used, since some are either/or questions, which are boring.)

Your mission: answer the question in the comments with a good story.

If you don’t have a good story, you are encouraged to make one up.

What was your favorite subject at school?

Ninja Stealth Techniques. Final exam was stealing the teacher’s wallet.

Wait, no… that was a math teacher, and it wasn’t for an exam. Whatever. Hooray for statutes of limitations!

Outside of that, it’s a toss up between typing and driver’s ed, which are pretty much the only two classes I still find useful today.

The Donkey Horror Picture Show (A Rocky Horror Picture Show Parody by Walruskkkch) Part 6

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Sweet Resistance
(to the tune of “Sweet Transvestite“)

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
How do you do
I see you’ve met my faithful sycophant
He’s just a little brought down because
When you knocked
He thought you brought the indictments.
Don’t get strung out by liberties we took.
To get a judge to issue a warrant.
If all goes to plan truth won’t see the light of day
and accusations will flow like a torrent.
We’ll get a sweet resistance
and prove Trump’s illegal machinations.
We can shop this around, this “evidence” we “found”.
It will look like he’s Putin’s puppet
and though it lacks the visual
That won’t be too abysmal
If we can still get CNN to support it.

Joe Scabarous:
I’m glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We’ll get this on air in a hurry

Mika Buttinsky:
Right!

Joe Scabarous:
We’ll just say that we are
shocked and by far
have more than a little, worry.

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
Well we won’t get caught flat
cause we’ll know that
This will cause the Right to panic
And by the lights of the left
Our moves will seem deft
and the conspiracy will seem Satanic
We’ll get a sweet resistance
and prove Trump’s illegal machinations.
It will frustrate the Right

Rip Off:
The Right!

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
They’ll think it will bite

Chappaqua:
Bite!

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
This dog and pony show will be our obsession
We’ll be taking down the man
and replace him if we can
despite the voters contrary decision.
We’ll get a sweet resistance
and prove Trump’s illegal machinations.
Try it! Try it!
It will be a sweet resistance,

Chorus:
Sweet resistance!

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
Even if the facts

Chorus:
will contradict ya-aha.

Dr. Frank-Lee-Furtive:
So let us take a stab
And see that the leakers blab.
I see you shiver with antici…pation
And maybe the blame
Won’t seem too, too lame
And it will promote the cause
to win us back the Nation!