Straight Line of the Day: After Losing $119 Billion in Stock Value in One Day, Facebook Vowed to Improve Itself by…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After losing $119 billion in stock value in one day, Facebook vowed to improve itself by…

43 Comments

  1. gaining back one dollar of stock value every day for the next 119 billion days.

    hiring the marketing people who brought us New Coke.

    hiring former General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt to do for Facebook what he did for GE.

  2. …merging with it’s prime competitor, Breastbook.

    …selling shares in Schadenfreudebook.

    …asking everyone if they want to be on the right side of alternative history.

    …looking harder to find the words face and book in Obamacare.

    …copying the all-time best promotion and introducing the free shoeputer.

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