Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
…not dying.
Not taunting Happy Fun Ball.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
celebrating birthdays, which today is mine. Time to party!
I’ll post a Happy Birthday sign on the moon for you!
HappBay! Go get some tuna for lunch.
Had some Cheesecake.
Happy birthday!
Birthday Bacon! ???
Trying to end his life prematurely? Where’s the kale love?
Infectious guitar riffs, and a driving Hammond organ back-up, from the White Album’s Birthday to you!
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
I’m not saying its aliens but… its Aliens.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
posting signs on the Moon.
…staying on Chuck Norris’s good side.
Tugging on Superman’s cape or messing around with Jim. (The other two I don’t think will actually kill you.)
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
faster horses,
younger women,
older whisky and
more money.
…staring at a teleprompter with a vacuous expression…
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
one word, Botox injections.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!
… getting on the Supreme Court.
… ignorance of Clinton malfeasances.
…Hookers and blow.
…don’t cross the Clintons.
My thoughts exactly
…having a Supreme Court acting ruthlessly.
Maybe even Baderessly.
Or Baderlessly
MyPillow, NutriSystem, TotalGym, and taking 5 Hour Energy every 5 hours.
All of them? What if I don’t have a My Pillow?
Come to think of it, if you take the 5 Hour Energy every 5 hours, you’ll never need a MyPillow.
…a secret…
If you knew it, we would have to kill you…
So its Calgon.
Not if it’s ancient and Chinese.
…not counting past three before casting the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at thine enemies.
A time loop
… and not getting in that transporter, Jim.
And a time loop
That’s what you . . . Hey, Wait A Minute!
Is available in a box of Crackerjack
Knowing the airspeed of a fully laden swallow
African or European?
Aiiiiiggghhh!
NOT being Nedermeir, Marmelard, or Wormer.
Not wearing a Star Trek red shirt.
The “Doh! I Overlooked That One” Mememmy ™ Award goes to you!
Not disrespecting the memories of fallen SEALS, Rangers, or Marines to SEALS, Rangers, or Marines.
Not acting like a liberal at Arlington.
Not giving the finger to an A-10 Warthog while running from it.
For that matter, not giving the finger to a regular nature-issued warthog while running from it.
Not burlesquing Mohammed in Mecca, or in funky cold Medina.
… well, being Aryan, if the press is right and Trump is literally Hitler.
Lily the Pinks medicinal compound.
(Most efficacious in every case)
By NOT having a foreign substance introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual.
Turns out the secret to a long life is…
…procrastination.
(God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. ~Calvin)
For Walrus, it’s easy: to celebrate the anniversary of this Straight Line every year.
That’s true! And leave the moon to it’s rightful owner…ME!
…no drinking, no smoking, no partying, and eating nothing but tofu and and rice cakes. You won’t actually live longer, it will just feel that way.
…not having Sean Bean star in the story of your life.