It’s a new week, and it’s a new round of questions to answer. There were quite a number of questions posted Friday, but some were answered by you, the Crack IMAO Answer Squad. Okay, we need a better name; get working on that, why don’tcha?
Anyway, many were answered by others here, but these either emailed in or weren’t answered completely. So, we’re going to answer these, and take your next round. Some of these answers are straight-forward, some are a little light-hearted, but none are wrong. Because we know everything.
Christopher: Why hasn’t AG William Barr opened a case of criminal conspiracy against the House Intelligence Committee for try to make him break the the law?
Politics.
DamnCat: How many dimes in a sh1tload?
21.
Okay, I can hear the skepticism. But here you go. I did a screen capture and highlighted all of the faces. Count them yourself.
DamnCat: How many in a metric sh1tload?
Trick question. Dimes are already based on tens, so no metric conversion is necessary.
Harvey: What difference, at this point, does it make?
Don’t worry so much about that point. If you wear a hat, no one will notice it.
Harvey: Who’s your favorite Canadian?
Trick question. Canada is a fictional country.
walruskkkch: Who was President of the United states on April 5, 1841?
John Tyler. He didn’t take the oath of office until the next day, but as always, the incoming president is president at the time prescribed by law — in this case, upon the death of the previous president — whether or not the oath has been taken. The taking of the oath is a Constitutional requirement of an incoming president, but he is still president even before the oath is taken.
walruskkkch: If bears sh*t in the woods where do Polar bears cr^p?
In the Northwoods.
cayleygraph2015: Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to slavery?
Pretend I do not see his agony?
This sinner sent, who bears my face,
who goes to judgement in my place?
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself forevermore?
Pretend I’m not the man I was before?
And must my name, until I die
be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow man?
How can I ever fare myself again?
My soul belongs to God, I know,
I made that bargain long ago.
He gave me hope, when hope was gone,
he gave me strength to journey on,
Who am I?
Jean Valjean
DamnCat: Who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
George Jones. No, not that George Jones, a different George Jones.
Oppo: What was Willis talking about? Serous question.
cayleygraph2015: Does Frank J get kickbacks for mentioning video games in his Random Thoughts? I bought “Baba Is You” on his recommendation (it was a good purchase).
Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, cayleygraph2015?
walruskkkch: While “Real” Socialism has never been tried anywhere, according to the Left, what place or places have tried the nearest thing to “Real” Socialism and how successful were those attempts?
The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was the most successful in terms of population killed, with an estimated 20 million under Stalin. Lenin’s total is less than 1 million.
The National Socialist German Workers’ Party which ran Germany in the years leading up to and through World War II was responsible for only 6 million Jewish deaths within the boundaries of their empire, while China’s Mao Tse-tung only managed to kill less than three million of his people. Amateurs.
Oppo: How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a cab?
One. But it’s a really long road.
Oppo: If Train A leaves its station at 50 mph simultaneously with Train B leaving a station 100 miles away on the same track, headed towards train A traveling at 65 miles per hour, then:
(a) is Global Warming real?
(b) does anyone get fired?
(c) is there any room for miracles to still happen?
(d) where was I going with this?
a) No.
b) No.
c) Yes.
d) In circles.
CLIFFY: (e) will little old ladies say some extreme curse words they have never said before?
You like it when they talk dirty.
Oppo: They can put a man on the moon, but they can’t come up with a new way to compare capabilities?
They can no longer put a man on the moon. What has this nation become? We used to be able to put a man on the moon, and now people don’t know which restroom to use.
Oppo: Where have all deflowerers gone?
Sorry I didn’t leave you any.
Oppo: Why can’t Johnny read?
Because he’s a dumbass.
Oppo: Sometimes I pronounce it “Car-RIB-be-an,” and other times “Car-i-BEE-an.” Isn’t that weird?
Everything about you is weird.
Oppo: They shoot hearses, don’t they?
Until you’ve been in a hearse with a body in the back and been asked to leave the Hardee’s parking lot because you’re in a hearse with a body in the back (true story) you can’t ask any questions about hearses.
If you have any questions for us, remember you can Ask IMAO Anything. Email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com or ask in the comments. Questions left in the comments may be answered in the comments. If not, or if the answer needs clarification or additional information, we’ll provide that in a day or two.
How can we make you smarterer?
Can I ask questions about Hardee’s parking lots?
I keep trying to think of something, but Natalie Solent’s request keeps coming to mind as a better question than anything I devise.
Who Mourns for Adonais?
“Basil: Trick question. Dimes are already based on tens, so no metric conversion is necessary.”
HA! Wrong Answer!
The correct answer is: “The same number as a regular sh1tload but with Canadian dimes.”
But Basil can’t be wrong but answer is different but it is not possible but . . . error . . . error. . . . Feature is incapable of error. . . . He is Basil . . . he is the Creator . . .
As stated elsewhere, Canada is a fictional country. My answer stands.
[lowers head] I’ll be under the porch.
Canada is fictional!?! I’ve always known Belgium is fictional but I had no idea about Canada!! So who’s that Trudeau guy…another one of Mayor Pete’s husbands?
If Canada is fictional how do you explain Michael J Fox and William Shatner?
They’re Swiss.
Canada being fictional explains them quite well.
Shania Doppleganger = Shania Twain.
I would certainly doublebangher.
You’re on her; we are willing to stup you late: she does not exactly repel healthy males.
Will all presidential candidates be asked “Briefs or Boxers?”?
That’s classified! Do you have a valid need to know?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if he had to give half his wood to wouldn’t-chucks who wouldn’t chuck at all?
A whole lot more than he’s chucking now.
I Soilent Green really green?
When’s the next “caulk like a pirate” day?
Did they give you a key to IMAO world headquarters, or did they give you a key from the lost and found?
Did they give you a key to IMAO world headquarters, or just a handful of quarters to call someone to let you in?
Did they give you a key to IMAO world headquarters, or do you just lurk around until someone else gets buzzed in?
Did they give you a key to IMAO world headquarters, or do you have to go all “Nakatomi Tower” to get to your terminal?
How much did the lady pay for the stairway to heaven?
If Trump can be literally Hitler, can I be literally da Vinci?
.sdrawkcab etriw ot evah uoy ,icniV ad yllaretil eb ot tnaw uoy fI
Who should buy groceries: Sid or Stephen?
I say, stout yeoman, may I borrow your pennyfarthing?
Has anti-Catholicism reached critical mass?
John Tyler. He didn’t take the oath of office until the next day, but as always, the incoming president is president at the time prescribed by law — in this case, upon the death of the previous president — whether or not the oath has been taken. The taking of the oath is a Constitutional requirement of an incoming president, but he is still president even before the oath is taken.
Well yes and no.
*Secretary of State Daniel Webster sent word to Tyler of Harrison’s illness on April 1,[8] and on April 5, Tyler learned that Harrison had died on the preceding day.[8] Harrison’s death while in office was an unprecedented event that caused considerable uncertainty regarding presidential succession. Legal scholars had long anticipated that a president would die in office at some point, but no firm consensus existed as to whether or not the vice president would fully assume the office of the presidency.[9] Article II, Section 1, Clause 6 of the United States Constitution, which governed intra-term presidential succession at the time[10] states that:
In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President,[11]
The text of this Constitutional prescription led to the question of whether the actual office of president, or merely the president’s powers and duties, devolved upon Vice President Tyler.[12] The cabinet met within an hour of Harrison’s death and, according to a later account, determined that Tyler would be “Vice-President acting President”.[13] For his part, Tyler firmly asserted that the Constitution gave him full and unqualified powers of office and had himself sworn in immediately as president, setting an important precedent for an orderly transfer of power following a president’s death.[14] The presidential oath was administered by Chief Judge William Cranch of the U.S. Circuit Court of the District of Columbia in Tyler’s hotel room. Tyler had initially questioned the necessity of taking the oath, arguing that it was redundant to his oath as vice president, but agreed to it in order to quell any doubt over his accession.[12]
Tyler delivered an inaugural address before Congress on April 9, in which he reasserted his belief in fundamental tenets of Jeffersonian democracy and limited federal power. Tyler’s claim to be president was resisted by many members of Congress. Representative (and former president) John Quincy Adams felt that Tyler should be a caretaker under the title of “Acting President”, or remain vice president in name.[15] Also among those who questioned Tyler’s authority was Senator Henry Clay, who had planned to be “the real power behind a fumbling throne” while Harrison was alive, and intended the same for Tyler.[16] Clay saw Tyler as the “vice-president” and his presidency as a mere “regency”.[16]
After some heated debate, Congress confirmed Tyler’s interpretation that he was, indeed, the new president.[17] In both houses, unsuccessful amendments were offered to strike the word “president” in favor of language including the term “vice president” to refer to Tyler. Mississippi Senator Robert J. Walker, in opposition, stated that the idea that Tyler was still vice president and could preside over the Senate was absurd.[18] Tyler never wavered from his conviction that he was the rightful president; when his political opponents sent correspondence to the White House addressed to the “vice president” or “acting president”, Tyler had it returned unopened.[19]*
Now my question for today.
Well, who are you?
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me who are you
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Oh, I really wanna know
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me tell me who are you
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Come on come on
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Ah who the f**k are you?
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you?
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Oh tell me who are you
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
This is the only song I can think of off hand that has the word f**k in it, that has played for decades on the radio, without that word being censored.
The radio edit had “who the hell are you” but there were stations that played the “dirty version,” mostly FM AOR stations late at night.
To my understanding, The Who didn’t record a version specifically for radio; rather, the original lyrics were “heck” and also recorded before Daltrey ad-libbed his change. The radio edit came from one of those takes.
But I could be wrong.
Oppo.
I know who I am and so did that cop who woke me up while I was sleeping in a doorway in Soho.
Does the date of the assumption of office, or the date that the oath is taken — if they differ — rule?
I haven’t gotten a newsletter from Frank J in a while. Did he stop or is it going to my spam folder
Why haven’t you answered any of my questions?