… All cars are equipped with mandatory explosives.
… Hacking problems are solved in three keystrokes.
… The vigilante superhero movie will involve a subplot where the hero stops group of armed vigilantes and speechifes about how taking the law into your hands is wrong.
….it’s over when the fat lady sings, “LEEROY JENKINS!”
… I can open any door in America either with a credit card or by kicking it in, unless it is on fire and someone is inside.
… I can see the Eiffel Tower from every hotel room in Paris.
… Don’t go in the basement. Or the shower.
… Chain saws work in cabins in the middle of the woods, even though the cabin has no electricity.
Umm, about the chain saw thing:
A nice distracting 3:48. Forget your own troubles and give it a listen!
… physics don’t apply in THIS universe…
… nothing is quite as it seems…
… nobody else has either… so it’s a shoe-in for the Oscar…
There’s a reason you never saw Bruce Lee and Iggy Pop together.
Didn’t use the same drugs?
Cell phone service is ubiquitous, except when it isn’t.
Haven’t seen the movie, but apparently…
the evil genius is always a white Nazi.
“1984” has nothing on “2020”.
Haven’t seen the movie, but apparently…
superhero abilities expand and contract according to the needs of the script.
Haven’t seen the movie, but apparently…
Clint Eastwood is really, really aggressive about selling lottery tickets.
Arnold Schwarzenegger never leaves for good.
One of the side effects of adrenaline is it insanely boosts your ability to make sarcastic witticisms.
… I have actually seen the original movie, just not the woke unwatchable remake.
The villain is a rich white guy with a picture of him shaking hands with Donald Trump.
The heroine has two boyfriends and can’t decide between the two. The men both adore her unconditionally.
Some guy has two girlfriends and can’t decide between the two. The women find out, agree he’s a jerk, and both dump him.
The hero can kick anyone’s ass but loses to the bad guy’s female bodyguard. Only the female sidekick can defeat her.
A journalist is threatened because she’s trying to expose corruption of the rich white guy everyone loves.
The black/hispanic guy is being framed by the rich white guy.
The white cops are idiots and racists.
The heroine running for office to evoke change and save the day is the underdog against the incumbent rich white guy Republican.
…Vin Diesel is quick and enraged. Again.
Haven’t seen the movie, but apparently…
…Hollywood is still churning out pap and hyperbole.
Tom Cruise plays the young confident guy.
Recasting the superhero as an overweight, transgender, vegan, wiccan POC is just what the studio needs to make a profit.
The butler did it.
Weinstein didn’t kill himself.
Yet.
Bullets spark, magazines hold infinite rounds, a shot has enough force to throw a bad guy backwards 10 feet and good guys never have to aim
When he decorates a room for her and plays their song, all is forgotten and forgiven.
… All cars are equipped with mandatory explosives.
… Hacking problems are solved in three keystrokes.
… The vigilante superhero movie will involve a subplot where the hero stops group of armed vigilantes and speechifes about how taking the law into your hands is wrong.
That after getting dumped, and some funny things happening, true love was found in the best friend that has always been there.
… this was obviously written by a bunch of drunken chimpanzees who inexplicably switched to mescaline…
Your back doesn’t get badly burned when you jump out of a building that is in the process of exploding.
…Bill and Ted are excellent to each other.
… Air Force Generals always wear their dress blue uniforms with all ribbons all the time.
… Cars can drive a long distance on two side wheels.
… Anybody can impersonate anybody with very little chance of being found out.
… High-powered corporate women who visit their home towns at Christmas get engaged to handymen in flannel by New Year’s.
… Rosebud was … you know, the thing. C’mon man!
…the actors and director don’t want me to.
…white privilege is the cause, guns are the solution, to all mankind’s problems, past and present.
…not being woke makes you evil and acting makes you stupid.
… Stormtroopers still can’t hit the broad side of a Deathstar.
Except when their accuracy can advance the plot.