Straight Line of the Day: A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
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… attempting to write a humorous response to the SLotD…
…take your teenage daughter anywhere in public. There, two birds with one stone!
… by drinking too much coffee, then dancing to the canned music at CVS while shopping with the family…
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
…attempt public speaking while being Joe Biden.
… plagiarizing from Neil Kinnock – NEIL KINNOCK!!!
… running for president as the overwhelmingly presumptive winner, when everyone hates everything about you…
… by wearing white after Labor Day…
“You misspelled ‘…being white…’ you racist.” – any SJW
Especially with matching hood.
…2020… wearing a white mask after Labor Day.
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
proudly pronouncing Basil, not Basil.
“I now pronounce you Basil and Basil…”
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
just being a Democrat Senator.
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
not being hip to the patter of young ones.
Being a Republican Senator from the south and acting like a conservative a few weeks every six years just to get re-elected.
… loudly mis-singing song lyrics while listening to music with your headphones…
There’s a bathroom on the right.
… nonexistent. The public should be grateful that I deign to bless them with my presence; why should I care if the rabble scoffs & sneers just because I’m too efficient to waste money on trousers?
Does your thriftiness extend to underwear?
Just asking.
For humanity.
Underpants count as trousers, no matter how under they may or may not be.
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
…not realizing that it wasn’t just gas until after you release it.
…wearing an Antifa mask.
How will they know it is you?
…forgetting your name when introducing yourself.
…Getting caught on deer cam defacing Trump signs when you’re the highly impartial elections committee chairman.
That’s not embarrassing, that’s just business as usual.
Greeting everyone with the phrase, “Yep, mashed potatoes.”
…remembering your MAGA cap…. but forgetting your pants.
++$!@#^ demanding to &@@#$% speak to the @#!!%**&# manager in a !&&%*(## Karenesque manner.
…saying “Good morning, Sunday morning” to everyone you meet.
Honk your car horn and yell “Go Dumba$$” at the person not turning, when there is clearly a pedestrian crossing the street.
Loudly recite a poem you wrote about how it feels to be a soldier killing people in Iraq, after prefacing it with, “I was never in the military, but I thought about it”… to a bus full of veterans. – It was embarrassing just to watch.
Inventing the word COVFEFE
Breaking not one, but two, bulletproof windows during the worldwide unveiling of your fancy truck.
…locking down FB/TW for your DNC masters.
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…
…trying to pick up a quarter that some prankster glued to the sidewalk
An experience hard earned, eh?
A great way to embarrass yourself in public is…hanging around with rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, s**t-kickers and Democrats!
Actually sending someone back for a s**t load of dimes to pay the toll for use of the Le Petomane Thruway.
This is one of the most difficult straight lines to respond to ever, as I am truly an master at this.
I suppose:
1) look like me
2) dress like me
3) be me
easy enough