Happy New Year y’all! (See below for actual Straight Line.)*
*That’s an asterisk.
Title derived from a scene in The Philadelphia Story:
Macaulay Connor (Jimmy Stewart): [telling off Sidney Kidd, his boss]
“Quote: No hunter of buckshot in the rear is cagey, crafty Connor. Un-quote. Close paragraph.”
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie:
“Close job. Close bank account.”
… Something too appropriate for 2022.
Something to appropriate for 2023:
Macaulay Connor:
“Champagne’s funny stuff. I’m used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne’s heavy mist before my eyes.”
SLoTD:
Resolutions for 2023: …
Resolutions for 2023:
I will never speed read War and Peace again out of pure boredom.
I will never quit posting on that damn sign on the moon.
I resolve not to make any (other) resolutions.
Same resolution I’ve made for many years.
I didn’t solve last year’s resolutions, so how in the heck can I resolve them???
Resolutions for 2023: …
I will NOT write 2022 on my checks.
Macaulay Culkin –
I’m used to ice. Ice is like a really hard slap on the back, and paint cans are a heavy blow, right between the eyes…
I pledge to Get It Right Next Time (hat tip to the late, great Gerry Rafferty)
Resolutions for 2023: …
I will not make any promises I have no intention of keeping.
Resolutions for 2023: …
I resolve to be less judgemental. I’ll up-twinkle all responses to SLoTD.
I legitimately find them all quite amusing.
I resolves that, in 2023, all my responses to the SLotD will be wittier than anything uttered at the Algonquin Roundtable.
That is the pits.
Does that make it pithy?
Resolutions for 2023: …
Not to leave the room until you come to get me.
Resolutions for 2023: …
Find out who wrote the book of love.
The Bastard.
Resolutions for 2023: …
Get back to work having a spread sheet for Harvey Award winners.
Resolution for 2023: …
Open a fitness center from January 1-15. The next 350 days, it will be a bar. Lather, rinse, repeat starting January 1, 2024.
Resolution for 2023: …
None needed. I have enough money to last me until the end of this year. Oh wait.
Resolution for 2023: …
Legally change my name to Ulysses Crane. Call the White House and ask them to Zelle billions to U. Crane. The idiots would probably fall for it. Close bank account. Buy a large island with FBI-eating alligators.
Resolution 2023…
I will continue to have my daily constitutional at 0830 every morning..
In 2023 I will try waking up and get out of bed at 7:30am instead of the usual 9:00am..
Ew
Eat more tuna!