“You had it made until you started voting for Democrats. Oh wait, I checked the record, those votes were after you died. Come on in, good and faithful servant.”
“Miss Welch is in the fourth mansion on the right on Intern Lane. She has been waiting for you.”
“Seriously?”
“Ha ha, yeah right. I told St. Michael you would fall for that one.”
…”You know what? Sometimes I feel like a Walmart Greeter, you know? But that’s neither here nor there.”
… “Hey, if it were up to me I’d let you right through, but the only one who has the final decision is the Big Guy…”
” … and you have to have given Him more than 10%.”
…”nothing, but every time I asked a question, he referred to this big book…”
I couldn’t quite make out what he said over the din over the text alerts he gets every time someone under 15 deletes their browser history.
I couldn’t quite make out what he said over the din of fires, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Come to think of it, he didn’t call himself St. Peter.
…”he looked me straight in the eye and said, “No cuts, no buts, no coconuts…””
“When life isn’t a bed of roses, remember who wore the thorns”
“Lady Gaga?”
“Before that.”
He said,”You’re late!”
“They said they’d send Mika to do the interview. Who the here are you?”
“Forgive Oppo: he knows not what he does to me.”
…Oh, you’re from MSNBC? Just wait over here for the elevator going DOWN!
Yeah, plausible deniability worked for Hitler, but there are cameras everywhere now, not to mention the IMAO archives.
“You had it made until you started voting for Democrats. Oh wait, I checked the record, those votes were after you died. Come on in, good and faithful servant.”
…”Answer me these questions three, ere the other side ye see.”
“There’s a 10 Harvey Award minimum to enter. You only had 4.”
“I was robbed!!”
{Stern look from St. Peter}
“Lose the luggage.”
“And don’t get too comfortable.”
“Miss Welch is in the fourth mansion on the right on Intern Lane. She has been waiting for you.”
“Seriously?”
“Ha ha, yeah right. I told St. Michael you would fall for that one.”
“If you need some money, go see St. Paul. People keep robbing me to pay him.”
“You’re being reincarnated.”
Harvey, March 3, 2009:
If this gets 10 thumbs up, does Harvey get an award?
Odd. Self-Referent. Recursive. Bacon!
“We’ve got a complete dossier on you.. In 1978 you had sex with some peat moss and gave birth to a Mandrake.”
“Now, in my defense, . . . “
“Please don’t tell my lichen!”
Managed To Get an Interview With St. Peter at the Pearly Gates: He Said…
Your sheep sacrifices are way too few for anything but an entry level position.
mmmmmmm lamb steak
Gyro-shima.