It’s five minutes till Happy Hour, and the big Boss (FrankJ) wants you to provide an idea for a Superhero — quickly. What are his/her/its powers? And what’ll you have? I’ll save a table for you. Those damn chesty interns always taking up all the space.
A great name for a superhero: Chesty Intern… you know what her power is…
EveryMan has an uncanny ability to appear as any other man. His weakness? Confronting TransMan becomes a confounding issue…
ReversoMan has the unique ability to reverse time at an accelerated rate, but if you can render him unconscious while the time stream is speeding backwards, he simply disappears…
“ReversoMan — My car keys look like this. Where did I put them?”
Matter Eater Lad
He can consume anything in his path..anything.
Chef Girl: She can read minds, snap her fingers, and whatever that person wants for dinner instantly appears. Also, I’ll be drinking Bloody Maria’s.
PerfectlyRipeHero
Super Power:
Able to consistently select perfectly ripe mango for the very best Mango Margaritas.
TrumpetMan
Ability to drive leftists crazier than usual through his superpower of trumpeting mean tweets, to further the goal of truth, justice, and the American Way!
Steve
Able to blend in anywhere and not be seen. Also can produce sweet smelling farts.
I’m hung up on Happy Hour starting at 12:05. Why so late?
Also, you spelled FrnakJ wrong.
And tell those chesty interns to hoist up the John B sails and see how the mainsail sets. I need a dinner cruise. Raw tuna and oyster shooters.
The Rumor- Instantly able to make you believe irrational things about people. Richard Gere and the gerbil? That was The Rumor. Bigfoot thwarting that alien invasion? The Rumor. Light beer actually being beer? The Runor.
Not to be confused with Conspiracy Theorist, who is actually truthful.
I’ll have a gin and tonic, just to piss off the linguists from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
The Quokka
He’s so cute, bad guys just stop in their tracks to admiring him, facilitating their capture.
I’ll take a Foster’s (an Aussie inspired Superhero needs an Aussie drink.)
“Lucky”. He can control the probability of the events around him, similar to the infinite improbability drive from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
So…
What’s the probability Chesty Intern will have sex with him? 1.0!
What’s the probability he’ll win the lottery? 1.0!
What’s the probability anyone will notice him standing in the women’s locker room at the local college? 0.0!
What’s the probability his standby coach ticket will get upgraded to first class? 1.0!
Any other ideas?