Russia plans ‘ministry of sex’ as Vladimir Putin desperately tries to boost birth rate
The Mirror | November 8, 2024 | Will StewartA ‘ministry of sex’ could be set up in Russia in the latest move to remedy the country’s drooping birth rate.
Putin-loyalist Nina Ostanina, 68, chairwoman of the Russian parliament’s committee on Family Protection, Paternity, Maternity and Childhood, is scrutinising a petition demanding such a move. This comes as Putin’s officials are coming up with myriad ideas to meet his demand to halt the demographic slide made worse by the hundreds of thousands killed in the war in Ukraine he unleashed almost three years ago.
One bizarre proposal is to turn off the Internet – and even the lights – between 10pm and 2am to encourage couples to have sex. Another idea is for the state to pay stay-at-home women raising children for doing housework, and to include this in their pension calculations. One more notion is that the state should pay for first dates – up to the value of 5,000 roubles [£40].
Yet another proposal is that public cash should fund wedding nights in hotels for couples up to a value of 26,300 roubles [£208] in the hope this stimulates pregnancies.
I, for one, am investing heavily in Latex futures…
To boost the birthrate of Russian women, all those internet adds about hot Russian woman who want me now have been legitimized.
12,000 N. Korean troops:
“We here to help make Russian babies long time.”
Kidnapping Ukrainian children will now be defined as childbirth.
Russian women need to eat more nuts.
Nothing says hot sex like “Nina Ostanina, 68.”
— Oppo OstaOppo
Well, banning condoms, birth control pills, abortion and the morning after pill would probably help more than the other proposed solutions. And cheaper, too.
Half price vodka!
Every night is Ladies’ Night!
Adding “Privacy Cabinets” to the bread lines. No reason to spend all that time idly.
Cut off gas to apartment buildings during the legendary Russian winter. The people will find an alternate method to stay warm.
For inspiration, the Russian Orthodox Church could canonize Madonna.
Offer a relocation deal to all the fat, ugly American liberal women who are withholding sex here to move to Russia and birth little Commies there.
I thought they wanted to encourage sex, not get all their men to take a vow of celibacy.
The Board of Directors of Smirnoff were thrilled with the idea
Should be interesting as they are a subdivision of the Ministry for Silly Walks.