Represenative Bob Etheridge has a new excuse not to answer questions from people. Last time his excuse was that he’s a violent weirdo who doesn’t like questions, but this time it’s because of cows. Etheridge left an event where he was answering questions an hour early because he got word his cows had gotten out, and apparently that needed his direct supervision. Who knows what happens with his cows if they get out while he’s in DC; I guess they just wreak havoc on the countryside unabated until Etheridge can finally come home and grab them and put them in headlocks and demand to know who they are — which they never answer being that they are cows.
I wonder if this is something we can use against Democrats if they try anything during a lame duck session.
“Now, let’s pass Cap & Trade and amnesty and– I just got a text… Oh no! Please no! The cows have gotten out! I. MUST. STOP. THEM!”
DISCLAIMER: I’ve done some work for the Renee Ellmers campaign and support all cows roaming free.
Apparently, Etheridge so mistreats his cows that they attempt to escape the moment he turns his back. So desperate is their wish to get away from him that no one else can control them – they will brave anything in their frantic flight. He has to round them up himself because he is the only one who can terrify them into submission and return them to his cruel dominion.
Or maybe he just wanted to weasel out of questions…
The cows never question Bob. The cows never judge Bob. He can be as crazy as he wants to be, and they allow him to command them and keep them locked up in pens. And now they have learned, if they ever try to graze outside the pens Bob will immediately swoop in to put them back where he commanded them to stay. Bob likes the cows. Bob wonders why people can’t be more like cows.
So the cows got out and you said something about him not doing his job. Racist
I cannot do my elected duties until all the cows come home. Thank you, and goodnight.
When I was a kid Cowboys were my heroes. Etheridge is no freaking cowboy.
As a responsible democrat he’s got to bravely face those scary man eating cows.
they could go on the rampage and decimate the land.
Gotta get my cows…. guffaw. That’s a new one. Maybe Pelosi can use “I gotta round up my roaming hippies”.
He’s a Democrat. Shouldn’t he have some Mexicans and Puerto Ricans (Pronounced “Port-uh-rickens”) to take care of his cows? And I bet his cows are fat Holsteins, not pretty little Jerseyes.
Well, here’s the prob. Cows can sometimes be finicky and respond only to certain voices. In the case of Etheridge’s cows, they only respond to his voice, and even then, they will only return to the pasture if Etheridge uses the nonsensical phrase:
HOOAR U! HOOAR U! HOOAR U!
Interestingly, Etheridge’s official bio states that he is a tobacco farmer — no mention of rogue cow farming.
I think the meat eaters on our side and the vegans on the other are pretty much going to doom us to a future tiny fraction of the cow vote. “meat rights “meat justice” “republicans are meatists” You all know how this movie goes.
bwarney frank loves cows. They contain his two favorite words: sir and loin
Which may explain etheridge’s “unnatural” relationship with his cows.
So, like where were the cows going? Were they in full stampede mode running down everything in their path including homes, villages, towns, cities, woman, children and so forth? Or were they wandering around snacking on the guy next door’s grass? How many cows does he have? It sounds like he has like 100,000 and they were texas long horns and they were terrorizing the entire state until he dropped in and saved the day!
We use to tip over cows in my younger days in Iowa. Great fun. Cows aren’t very smart! I’ll bet they are smarter than their owner in this case. How did they defeat his elaborate security to escape?
Good point, ussjimmycarter.
How can we trust our national security to a man who can’t even secure his own cows?
I think ‘cows got out’ that was just a code phrase from his wife telling him everyone could see that his zipper was down.
Tobacco farmer??@!! So Etheridge is bankrolling Boehner? This madness has got to stop. I’m sending a donation to Ellmers right now.
He owns cows. Where does this guy actually live. Did he fly out to ……….where? I’ve actually lived in the Baltimore/Washington area and I gott’a say I didn’t see too many ranches in the areas where the politicos live.
That begs another question. Just how much money are these clowns getting that they can afford a place (house, condo, apartment) near DC, a house in their district and a cattle ranch somewhere else, apparently close enough for him to rush to, in order to go on the round up. I’m reasonably sure they aren’t worth what we’ve been shelling out. Time to reel the money back in and return public service to it’s roots. Service. Greedy, incompetents need not apply. Oh wait is that going to get me in trouble with Homeland Security? I didn’t actually call the president an incompetent. tin plated dictator with delusions of relevancy.
Yet.
Said one cow to the other….I ain’t gonna work on Bobby’s farm no more.
No, I ain’t gonna work on Bobby’s farm no more.
Well, I wake in the morning,
Fold my hands and pray for rain.
I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin’ me insane.
It’s a shame the way he makes me scrub the floor.
I ain’t gonna work on Bobby’s farm no more……………
Little boy Bob, come blow your horn.
The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn.
Where is the little boy with so much to do?
“Who’re you? Who’re you? Who’re you? Who’re you? Who’re you? Who’re you? . . .”
Great scenario, Frank! Hmm…might work.