the united states postal service: when you want to kill someone with ricin, but you’re not real concerned about how quickly
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) April 17, 2013
I thought I was Superman b/c as a baby I was found in a fiery hole in an Iowa field, but it turns out my mom was just a meth addict.
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) April 17, 2013
In fairness, who could have possibly known Mark Sanford had a judgment problem?
— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) April 17, 2013
I will say, the media this week has really made it clear why it’s totally plausible that nobody ever IDs Superman as Clark Kent.
— sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) April 17, 2013
Close only counts in horseshoes and CNN coverage.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 17, 2013
CNN: The Most Trusting Name in News
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) April 17, 2013
90% of Americans want lower unemployment too but Obama couldn’t manage that one either.
— Brandon Kiser (@Kiser) April 17, 2013
Obama showed the passion and anger at his personal defeat that he wasn’t able to manage after the Benghazi slaughter.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) April 17, 2013
Being a single dad is hard when you have no children
— donni (@donni) April 17, 2013
I won’t have a bunch of God-forsaken cretins who advocate killing kids before they’re 1 day old telling me I want children to die.
— SFK (@stephenkruiser) April 18, 2013
Letters with ricin…this is what can happen when Elvis impersonators go bad.
They said in the paper that they make ricin from castor beans.
Isn’t that what they make castor oil from?
I knew my mom was trying to kill me!