28 Comments

  1. Scientists Now Predict That Global Warming May Cause…

    post turtle choom-ridden Kenyans to become even more completely divorced from reality.

    Coppertone sales to rise.

    Wal-Mart to close 269 stores. It certainly can’t be due to America’s stagnant economy because the Wizard of Uhs said that the economy is booming.

  2. …melting ice caps to flood Europe with young male Syrian immigrants.

    …the streets of first world countries to run red with innk.

    …an increase in sales of battery powered self diving submarines, in Nevada.

  3. the heart-break of psoriasis.
    erectile dysfunction
    delusional people to believe that socialism works in spite of all evidence to the contrary.
    Obamabots to believe that Teh Won fixed the economy… in spite of all evidence to the contrary.
    anal seepage.
    receding hairline.
    polar bear extinction by starvation due to increase in polar bear populations.
    satellites to provide false data about global warming.

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