The richest one percent earn more than you do.

We need better entitlement reform or we just shouldn’t release entitlements from prison in the first place.

What’s the defense of Bill Clinton? Not quite as many allegations as Bill Cosby?

I’m inclined to agree with Cruz on most things and he comes off to me as weasely. Not sure how’ll he’ll appear to someone less inclined.

I mean, they’re all weasels, but a skilled politician tricks you into forgetting that from time to time.

The name of Han’s ship implies that falcon’s exist in the Star Wars universe. Are any other earth animals referenced?

And I’ve always wondered whether people in Star Trek universe have heard of Star Wars. Like do they ever pretend phasers are lightsabers?

2015 was an extremely eventful year for me and I plan to accomplish even more in 2016. Probably not another kid, though.

My New Years resolution is to uppercut someone so hard I launch him into the air.

Finally saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you only see one Star Wars movie this year, you might want to consider it.

Wait, how many Star Wars movies is Disney planning to release each year?

Nice to see that the Empire is more diverse in the new Star Wars. Not only white males can be evil.

So are they going to explain why Percy Weasley changed his name to General Hux?

You can only be disappointed in a delay for the next Game of Thrones book if you had any expectations of ever actually seeing it.

When adjusted for inflation, The Force Awakens has earned negative 3 dollars and was far out-grossed by Police Academy 5.

In the new Star Wars, seems like most of the Empire is a bunch of unintimidating weenies if they’re not wearing masks.

For new Star Wars, we’re going to refer to the two sides as the Rebels and the Empire and not whatever new names they came up with, right?

Getting your tongue stuck in the voting machine will be considered a vote for Trump.

That Kylo Ren is always going on about the power of the dark side and veganism.

Strong anti-gun control message in Star Wars. Rey, Finn given blasters without background check and Han Solo open-carries everywhere.

Looks like the long national nightmare of Avatar being our highest-grossing film ever is finally ending.

What’s the world’s deadliest butterfly? I know a butterfly has never killed anyone, but one has had to come the closest.

Ah, time for Downton Abbey, the trashy soap opera that makes us feel sophisticated for watching it.

I’m still baffled how Avatar made so much money. Of course, I didn’t get Titanic either. It’s like Cameron has voodoo magic I’m immune to.