Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Following the “success” of #RaceTogether, the next promotional stunt from Starbucks…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Following the “success” of #RaceTogether, the next promotional stunt from Starbucks…
#FacePalmTogether
Following the “success” of #RaceTogether, the next promotional stunt from Starbucks…
#DogsCatsTogether
#FishwithBicylces
#LiberalswithReality
Following the “success” of #RaceTogether, the next promotional stunt from Starbucks…
will be thought out a little bit better.
A big ol’ Obama Latte Salute to the Troops!!
#CreepyHugs
Heinz Across America: a coast-to-coast ketchup trail for peace
#CowboysIndiansTogether
Introducing anyone who orders a café americano to someone from the Arabica League, so they can better understand each other.
#TheRichardSimmonsPostRaceRubDown
#HealthyHeart, in which fatties will get an honest discussion on the dangers of obesity as they are “encouraged” to order nonfat milk and sugar-free syrup with their Frappucinos (ordering whipped cream will get them a punch in the face, because let’s face it, with some people, force is the only way to encourage healthy habits). (I am one of those people. Writers of “yo mama so fat” jokes look at me and say, “Whoa. Wow. I got nuthin’.”)
“Yo mama so Bat.”
…#banTEA
…#cookieswidat
…#openCarryTogether
…#STFU
…#letsTalkHerpes
…ask our Barristas for financial and legal advice while you wait for your coffee
…#justShutUpAndMakeMyDamnCoffee
…let’s talk about poverty
… a discussion of terrorism with your coffee: #FreshGroundZero
…Barristas will now pretend to show interest in that screenplay you’ve been working on all day.
…our Barristas will proofread your screenplay #screenplaytogether
#EqualPayForNoWork
#NIMBY
DamnCat#9, I’m makin’ a poster outta that.
Encourage people to learn Italian by saying “grande” instead of “large”.
…will be free-form political comedy by Our Barristas, performed for free, hot beverages for all customers present.
The only catch to get the beverage is that you honestly have to ‘like’ what they presented……
…….and no heaving, gagging, or snide comments are permitted.
#DuncanDonuts
#ClintonInternships
…is to announce two new sizes:
1. Between tall and grande will be “pudgy”
2. Between grande and venti will be “big boned”
…and introducing a 62 ounce coffee called the “Gulp Grande”
Renaming black coffee with cream into #Ebnoy&Ivory
” #White Privilege” Where your Obamarista, who has a college degree in some useless liberal arts major, opens a frank discussion about how the Starbucks kind of people are hurting America. This may actually “bomb” (“succeed”) bigger than “Race Together” did.
#Pay It Forward…in which they convince you to pay for the next customers’ coffee, yet they don’t tell the next customer and then convince THEM to pay for the next customers’ coffee…and, well, they made us all feel good didn’t they?
#WTFamIdoing?, in which I and the barrista have a frank discussion about why I keep coming back to this pretentious hipster hang out for my overpriced cup of java.
…#sand. (in this one the sign reverts from ‘hashtag’ to ‘pound’)
#LetsTalkAboutYourPolitics:
“Hi! I’ll be your barista today. BTW, how would you characterize your ‘politics?’
“As up your ass.”
Just an aside…remember when it considered impolite to ask someone about his or her political views. Once upon a time, not so long ago, there were certain topics that well-mannered people simply did not discuss with strangers or even mere acquaintances. Chief among these were income, politics, and religion.
The primary reason for these things were not discussed wasn’t because the topics were divisive. The reason they weren’t discussed was two-fold: 1) whether someone else made more or less money than you, whether or not they were of you faith (or any faith), or how they voted should have no bearing on how you treat your fellow citizen; 2) It was none of your damn business.
Eventually, after you got to know someone, you’d learn these things. By that time you’d have already decided whether or not they were a good person, whether they were likeable or trustworthy – and those judgments were made solely on your interactions with them as a person not on any prejudices you might have against some group they might belong to.
Good times. Long gone it seems.
#ghonosyphiherpeaids…. the new threat.
#Stock Price Skydiving…
#DOH!
#mayigetyourname
Was changed to #MaceTogether for Ferguson
#stopfatshamingpeoplewhoeatscones
#stopmakingfunofpeewees
#peetscoffeemadebybabyseals
#a chicken in every pot #a starbucks on every corner
#howmuchforthelittlegirl?
#happyendingloveyoulongtime?
#UncheckingIEDPrivilege…Nahhhhh
#NowWeKnowNextOneComesWithSpit
#DroneHomingChipImplantedCup
…Maxwell House?
…you’re soaking in it.
…bras on the outside of sweaters.
#OfFlesh – for the coffee merchant of Venice
#JihadTogether
#BaristasExplainWhyGrungeWasOverrated