The Right-Wing Super Awesome Fun Party of Fun!
Ace of Spades is thinking about doing a right-wing blogocentric version of the Yearly Kos and wants your input. I think this is an awesome idea… except for imitating Yearly Kos. I don’t want us to be a bunch of lameos trying to forget how lame they are and pretending they can accomplish something; it should just be one major kick ass party! And I say we have it in Vegas because it’s not too far from me and everyone loves Vegas. And we make it such a huge outrageous party that we basically turn off the whole city from ever wanting to vote for a conservative. Harry Reid should have a heart attack from just hearing it’s in his state. And it should have a carbon footprint so huge that eight polar bears die from it.
It will be epic!
So what should we have at what I’m tentatively titling “The Right-Wing Super Awesome Fun Party of Fun!”? Here’s some of my own ideas so far:
WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE AT THE RIGHT-WING SUPER AWESOME FUN PARTY OF FUN
* A panel on hippie punching led by Fred Thompson.
* A bouncy castle.
* A mixed martial arts competition.
* Indoor fireworks.
* A panel of top scientist discussing where we are on making space lasers and dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them.
* Crazed elephants.
* Guns, guns, and more guns. And then other guns than those.
* A rally for Ned Lamont.
* Top rocks bands from around the world. And if any of them object to playing for conservatives, we punch them for being hippies.
* Reagan policy look-alike contest.
* Eight open bars. And then a ninth, secret, extra-open bar.
* A panel of top theologians answering the question: “How much does God hate RINOs?”
* Ninja assassins guarding the doors making sure no liberals get in.
* Free punch and pie.
* Awesome lessons, taught by me.
* Explosions.
* Robots.
* Katanas.
* Sarah Palin.
And afterward we can force liberals to watch videotape of what went on at our party and their heads will explode!
So what do you want at The Right-Wing Super Awesome Fun Party of Fun? Make sure to tell Ace too.
(18 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5)
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November 12th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
A Higgs bosson hunt in the desert for any hippies after they have been punched and pant’sed!
November 12th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Liberal gambling-never a loser so we all feel good about ourselves!
November 12th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
RINO rides! Everyone gets a turn riding David Brooks, David Frum, Kathleen Parker, Peggy Noonan, etc around the hotel!
November 12th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Great idea. I suggest having it during the Shot Show
http://www.shotshow.org/ so that we can view all of the
NEW guns.
November 12th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
A seminar on forms of dance made profitable by capitalism, strippers and showgirls.
We probably need booth babes too, you know to model the guns, pollution machines, and conservative policy plans.
November 12th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
A Sarah-Palin-lookalike lingerie show & baby-oil-wrestling contest.
I’ll be in my bunk. Just the thought of it….
November 12th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Can their be a “recovery” panel for everyone that kicked off of LGF?
November 12th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
* Marine Scout Sniper lessons. For the adults.
* Skeet shooting. For the kids.
* Fly fishing.
* Stock car racing.
* Drag racing.
* Free rides (including usage of weapons) in M1A2 Abrams.
* Free rides (including usage of weapons) in A-10 Thunderbolt II.
* Cigar debate between Fred Thompson and Rush Limbaugh.
* To top it all off, a supersonic flyover by an F-14.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Clear a half-mile oval shaped portion of The Strip. Place red clay on the oval. Voila. Sprint car racing, dune buggy racing, motorcycle racing, monster truck racing, the works. And in the infield of the oval, we’ll have concerts by Merle Haggard and the Marine Band.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
We would also place a steel cage in the infield of the oval and have our own version of Kumite.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
don’t forget monster trucks, race cars, lots of ammo for guns, more guns, cannons, beer, girls, deep fried food, BBQ meat, gambling, free rides in tanks, RINO punching, the hippie toss contest, and soaking hippies with a fire hose.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
oh and I forgot lawn darts to fling at the hippies
November 12th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
For fireworks, we will nuke the surrounding desert.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I’d go if there were wholesome country fair-type events for the kids that led to real prizes, like:
* Mary Katherine Ham palm readings
* Sarah Palin fortune tellings
* Ann Coulter tongue lashings
* Smiling Michelle Malkin admonishments
* Rachel Lucas doggy talk
However, the events would probably be more like :
* Pin the tail on the Pelosi donkey using a real Pelosi
* Obama Teleprompter Decathlon featuring impersonation, distance toss and smashing derby
* Death Race 2010 Bumper Cars with real, standing, dummy Congressmen
* Harry Reid Darts Championship
* Monster Trucks that run over giant Al Gore mockups
* Sledge Hammer the heavy weight up until it hits Obama’s chin and his head lights up
November 12th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
IH8socialist: Yeah, and not those puzzy blunt ones they have now, I want the original skull piercing lawn dart, shapened to a fine point!!
Personally I would like to see more guns than listed.
Ted Nugent should be there as MC
Pin the dagger in the hippie contest
A symposium on various hippie punching techniques
Howitzer training and use, lets shoot a few hundred rounds or ord into the dez!!!
Beer fountains everywhere
Have a small arena where we could chase hippies with ATCs
I definitely second the motion for the car racing oval
X-games motorcycle stunts going 24 hours a day
My personal favorite, a full display of WWII aircraft (they were the best)
November 12th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Gladiatorial contest between hippies and hungry polar bears. The only weapons the hippies get are hugs.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Great ideas, Frank! I think we need a whole section of general hippie bashing, so in addition to the it’s gonna be freakin’ awesome hippie punching panel with Fred Thompson we can have the following workshops:
- Spraying hippies with bleach and DDT from a safe distance so you don’t have to get close enough to smell them.
- Chainsaws, weed whackers, lawn mowers or samurai swords. Which is best for cutting off a hippie’s smell like a mule’s ass dreadlocks?
- If you drop a hippie from 30,000 ft into a forest, will anyone hear him scream?
- Hippies vs Compost Heap, which one smells worst.
- Hippie Communes, nuclear waste storage sites?
- Can you become a blithering retard from banging a hippie chick?
November 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
We could have a “most creative use for a hippie contest” the winner gets a gun, and everybody else gets a slightly less awsome gun. Then if anybody used their hippie live, we can set up a gladatorial arena, they fight to the death, the winner becomes Freds personal asswiper.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I think you should somehow fit in breaking the land speed record. Maybe on day 2.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
JavelinaBomb we can strap a hippe to a rocket with wheels for the land speed record thing. We can call it the worlds fastest exploding hippie record.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Proud Infidel says: – Can you become a blithering retard from banging a hippie chick?
no but you might catch some nasty cooties.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
how bout a hippie collider building contest?
November 12th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
IHSocialist, a hippie collider? What an awesome idea! But what are we going to do about the smell of vaporized hippie? It’s gonna take millions of gallons of Fabreeze to neutralize that vicious reek!
Still, if it vaporizes hippies it’s well worth it. I’ll just wear a gas mask and take frequent showers.
November 12th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
hippie margaritas
November 12th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Ninja Assasins at the door …. and any hippies or MSM (a slight redundancy) captured, get taken to the MMA cage to help “warm” up the fighters….
Mandatory gun carry for attendance
Seminar: Can hippie/commie remains be recycled, or should they be handled as Hazmat? (Just doin our part to stay “green”)
The Parade of the Awesome
Fred Thompson
Chuck Norris
Ted Nugent
add more awesome here…
November 12th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Build a steel cage. Pirate and a Ninja. Unarmed. It’s time we settle that score.
November 12th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
We can have a spine-strengthening clinic & a “that’s what those dangly things are for” clinic for Republicans who have lost their spine & cajones!
A seminar on the conservative Republican platform – strong national defense, conservative economic free market policy, limited government control, & conservative social values – & dare anyone to make the case that this is radical uber right wing craziness, & if anyone does punch them in the face with a hippie.
All-encompassing self-defense training – armed, unarmed, improvised weapons – home, multiple attackers, by one’s self or as part of a group…
November 12th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
The hotel breakfast buffet must serve only bacon and Jello shots.
November 12th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Did I mention I LIVE in Vegas? Needless to say, I will be there regardess of the fun planned.
November 12th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
there must be bacon and dounuts for breakfest lunch and dinner, Glenn beck can run around reciting the Constitution, and the we should have a kick Keith Olberman in the nards booth.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I already committed over at Ace before I knew Frank was in. If Frank is in and it’s in Vegas, consider this to be be doubling down.
And I’d be happy to volunteer for the panel on “Why (And Just How Much) God Hates RINOs” as long as it doesn’t interfere with the “How To Field-Dress A Hobo” workshop.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
For some serious liberal outrage the event needs more Glen Beck and sponsorship from Fox news.
Also there could be a Monster Truck rally too, featuring a Prius demolition derby where the Monster trucks have a certain amount of time to chase down crush as many Toyota Prius’s driven by self righteous liberal douchebags as possible. The Truck that squishes the most Prius’s in the time limit wins.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I would like to display my latest and greatest invention, the The Captain Model 12 Buttkicker. It’s basically a shotgun that shoots 357 magnum pistols. The Model 12 is so awesome that ninjas try to either dodge the bullets and then they say. “AAAAAAAAGH! they’re not normal bullets, they’re guns! we try to dodge them and they shoot us instead! It’s like Fred Thompson in gun form! AAAAAAAAGH!” And then the surviving ninjas run away in shame.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
To maximize leftist rage, it should be sponsored
by Halliburton, Wal-Mart, and News Corp;
and specifically held at a non-union hotel
(if one exists in Vegas).
F S.E.I.U.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
You bunch of PC wimps. Substitute the word “Jihadist” for everywhere someone wrote “hippie”.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
An Endangered Species hunt to take place on the Strip and wherever else they might run to. Just let them loose on the streets of Vegas then go Weapons Hot. God save anyone who tries to protect the Komodo Dragon/California Condor/whatever other Endangered species we’re gunning for with the sole purpose of proving we can kill whatever we want. Just to remind Nature that we were placed at the top of the Food Chain by a God that loves us and wants us to eat all his tasty creations. Bonus points for any collateral damage that involves a hippie. Flesh wounds obviously less points than a kill shot or major internal organ damage.
November 12th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweilers will be in attendance….
November 12th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
will there be polar bear nuking at this event?
November 12th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
we must have a live reenactment of the hippies crying over dead trees video
November 12th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Pin The (Donkey) Tail On Rosie O’Donnell/Keith Olbermann
Nancy Pelosi face mask-making (for Halloween 2010, or for when infiltrating leftwing enclaves to wreak havoc)
Whack-a-Moonbat
Monster SUV auto show
Red meat-eating contest
For us conservativebabes: Girls Night Out to Thunder From Down Under
Zo and Crowder film festival
Monopoly tournament (the original capitalist version; not the current PC electronic version)
November 12th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Excellent idea but I’m confused.
“And we make it such a huge outrageous party that we basically turn off the whole city from ever wanting to vote for a conservative.”
Why would we want to leave Vegas to the a$$=====(liberals) ?
November 12th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
* Awesome lessons, taught be me.
PROOFRED
November 12th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
“Pin The (Donkey) Tail On Rosie O’Donnell”
Too easy.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Pin the donkey tail on Dede Scozzafava.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Invite CAIR and the Ruckus Society to give a seminar on Islam, protests, and picking up hippie chicks. Then invite the US Army Military Police Dog Handler School do do a demonstration at the same time, same place, same Bat-channel.
November 13th, 2009 at 12:02 am
As for banging hippie chicks…what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas…
November 13th, 2009 at 12:05 am
We each get 3 hours of seat time flying a real B1 Bomber with real live nukes! They won’t release unless we are flying over a hippie city like S.F. or Russia or something so we can just keep pushing the button until something cool happens!
November 13th, 2009 at 12:37 am
1) Monster truck rally where they crush Hybrid cars and WV Busses.
2) Rino Thunderdome with Coni Rice as overseer. (Two Rino’s enter, one Conservative leaves.)
3) A Burrning Man gathering in the desert. But our burnning man will be made of Hippies.
4) Mr T, Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stalone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger providing security & checking visitors for weapons. If they don’t have a pistol on them then they are obvously a Democrat and must be beaten with a garden rake. (I pitty the fool who doesn’t exersize his second ammendment)
November 13th, 2009 at 12:58 am
5) A lecture on how to keep yourself from swearing constantly in blog post: Hosted by Ace.
November 13th, 2009 at 1:07 am
[...] I’m in for it. [...]
November 13th, 2009 at 7:38 am
If only there was a way to get Penn Jillette to Vegas…
November 13th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
-Lt. Dan Band has to play. With Zo’s band opening.
-those water guns where you shoot clowns and balloons pop. But use real clowns.
-Kissing booth where Mary Katherine Ham/Sarah Palin/Michelle Malkin kiss active duty troops to thank them for service
November 13th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Don’t forget to include Ron Reagan Jr. in the events – some kind of “Torture the Tool” booth.
Possible sponsers could include Philip Morris and Exxon.
Must have rodeos, lots and lots of rodeos. Then the winners get to strap clowns to brahama (sp?) bulls and set off fire crackers. Or overhead gun shots. Kinda mean to the bulls, tho.
Drop hippies, jihadists, Olberman, Reagan Jr., etc. from planes and see who wins the biggest splat or loudest scream contest. Probably Olbie. Bet he screams like a girl. Target area should be Harry Reid’s house.
November 13th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
We could make faulty bongs and distribute them to area head-shops.