Random Thoughts

Posted on December 1, 2011 9:16 am

Due to rising energy costs, Santa will no longer leave a lump of coal in your stocking if you’re naughty and instead just punch you while you sleep.

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18 Responses to “Random Thoughts”

  1. Jimmy says:

    That’s because the enviro-liberal-retards have banned coal!

    Santa, I would like several tons of coal for Christmas. Screw the Democrats.

  2. Jabo says:

    Maybe the liberals got so much coal as a kid that they are now holding a grudge against the industry!

  3. tomg51 says:

    Rats. I can’t roast chestnuts on a solar panel.

  4. EdthePastor says:

    Frank it takes two to have “Random ThoughtS” This would be a random thought, singular. A public education is a terrible thing to waste

  5. DamnCat says:

    New legislation enacted by the previous, Democrat controlled, congress required Santa to give all children presents equal value. President and Mrs. Obama championed the rule that individual children no longer may be singled out for desirable or undesirable gifts as though they were campaign contributors. Rumor has it that Santa is planning to retaliate by giving everyone gift certificates to McDonald’s.

  6. Mxymaster says:

    Reindeer poop = green energy. Extremely renewable.

  7. MarkoMancuso says:

    IMAO movie idea! We’ll steal a freight train of coal and take it over the rivers, prairies, and mountains to Jimmy’s house for Christmas.

    I get to be the engineer!

    It will be like Smokey and the Bandit, only darker, grittier, but still Christmasy.

  8. Jimmy says:

    Now you’re talkin’, Marko. Black is beautiful – and it keeps you *W*A*R*M*.

    When you get to the ferry dock, call me and we’ll offload it onto trucks and steal the Washington State ferry boat. They’re run by Democrats, too.

  9. Fly says:

    Hey, Santa is Al Gore! He saves the coal but he flies everywhere just to punch people in the face while they sleep.

  10. Son of Bob says:

    Thanks to environmentalists, instead of coal Santa will be leaving a broken florescent light bulb in your stocking.

  11. Burmashave says:

    Speaking of curley cue bulbs, you now have:

    31 days left to purchase real 100 watt bulbs

  12. storm1911 says:

    Santa can leave a hope and change bumper sticker for all the little kiddies. The adults get a copy of
    Mein Kom… oops, I mean Dreams of my Father.

  13. Fly says:

    First they came for the 100W light bulbs and I did nothing because I do not use 100W light bulbs, then they came for the 60W light bulbs and I bought 5 years worth, because those, I use. Bastages. Taking my 60W bulbs away.

    Don’t forget to stock up on refrigerator, freezer, and outdoor “gas” lamp incandescent bulbs, too!

  14. Fly says:

    Hey, Burma, does the ban include the 50/100/150 three-way bulbs? If so, I despise our Congress proportionately more.

  15. plentyobailouts says:

    Secession, its the only way!

    After Rome fell, the hippies took over italy and made it the smelly cesspool it is today.

    When the U.S falls, it will become just like the mexican cesspool to our south.

    When America falls, canada will have really horrible neighbors.

    I am hoping Santa leaves me a tree shredder. Just add liberals and viola! Compost!! GREEN GREEN GREEN!

    Remember to dispose of CFLs properly by discarding them in a parasites tent

  16. Burmashave says:

    @Fly: I know there are some exceptions, but I don’t think the three way is one of them. Stock up because curley-cues don’t do the three-way, nor do they dim.

    Your 75W bulbs are safe for another year.

  17. DamnCat says:

    @Burmashave – CFLs don’t dim because they come pre-dimmed right out of the box.

  18. Burmashave says:

    Ha ha ha ha, true, DamnCat.

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