Archive of entries posted on 9th December 2011

Nuke the News: Considerable Rattling

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* Hitting a wall this morning. Just can’t think of anything I feel like commenting on. I haven’t said anything about Corzine and Blago, but hugely corrupt Democrats just seems like old hat. So what do you guys feel like commenting on? Pick a news item and say something witty about it in the comments. Person who has the best line wins…

…wait for it…

HIGH PRAISE!

Keep it pithy.

* Might as well respond to some spam to please the Great Landlord.

Excellent weblog right here after reading i decide to buy a sleeping bag ASAP

Little bit of a mixed message there, dude.

I just began a weblog One problem how do you write weblog

W-E-B-L-O-G

Magnificent site. Plenty of useful information here. I am sending it to a few pals ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thank you on your sweat!

Well, thank you. Not a lot people recognize how much hard work it takes to blog daily. Hard work and sweat. In fact, I have to hose myself down after each blog post.

you seriously know your things. retain up the beneficial things!

I like that. I’m going to write “retain up the beneficial things!” on a post it note and put it right over the monitor at my work desk. I need to keep in my mind to what purpose am I sweating: It’s to retain up the beneficial things.”

Could you create one more blog website ? ? I rattling love this a single so considerably.

I get excited about my writing too, but no need to swear.

* Here’s a new video from Crowder. I cannot understand a word he says:

* Wisdom of the Day: “First George Orwell wrote Animal Farm, about the failure of Soviet ideology, then he wrote Animal House, about his rowdy college days.” –Michael Kupperman

Random Thoughts

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If Fast & Furious is an argument for gun control, it’s that we should pass laws keeping the federal government from having access to guns.

Reporter: “What about people still looking for jobs?”
Obama: “I know one job opening: Whatever job bin Laden had.”

You need to be wary of women and their scheming because the worst kind of nanigans are SHEnanigans.

A calendar ain’t nothing but a number

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The president is celebrating Hanukkah.

Not “planning to observe Hanukkah beginning December 20th” but IS. As in now.

None of this silly waiting until the Festival of Lights actually begins, but now. Because, it’s not like days … or the number of days or anything … really matter, right?

And, so as to not drag it all out, the president went ahead and lit all the candles. Because, well, you know, why not. It’s not like you need to light one a day or anything, right? It doesn’t, like, have any special meaning, right?

While the Festival of Lights doesn’t actually begin until December 20th this year, it does begin December 8th next year. So, maybe he’s so far ahead on his schedule to destroy everything that he thought the 2012 apocalypse was already upon us, and used the 2012 date to celebrate Hanukkah.

Or, maybe he thinks so far outside the box — like that book says — that he doesn’t let the calendar dictate when he does things.

Like observing Hanukkah 12 days early. And all at once, not over eight days.

And, looking at the calendar, we need to do Christmas at some more convenient time. This year, it’s on a Sunday. And, everybody knows that Sunday is for sleeping until noon, getting up, ordering a pizza and watching football. Christmas would just interfere with that. The kids will be getting up early, and messing up all that “sleep until noon” thing, which is totally unacceptable.

And, besides, some people go to church on Sunday, and we certainly don’t want religion to interfere with Christmas, do we? So, we can do Christmas on the 16th. It’s a Friday, the mid-month government checks will have arrived the day before so we can stop by the Dollar General and pick up some gifts. It’s perfect.

And New Year’s? It’s a Sunday, too! How did that happen? Both Christmas and New Years on a Sunday? Actually, that’s not bad. Getting all drunk and such the night before means sleeping in on New Year’s Day, so, yeah, that actually works. It needs to be a Sunday every year.

St. Patrick’s Day is a Thursday in 2012. That won’t fly. Need to move it to a weekend. The celebration in New York is big, of course, but New York can handle a million people partying with no problem. But, if you decide you want to party but not go to New York, the 2nd largest celebration, in Savannah, nearly triples that city’s population for the day. So, yeah, a weekend would help with that. I’m thinking March 12th would be good.

Easter and Mother’s Day are too close together in 2012, so let’s do Easter on April 1st. That way, when the kids go out to hunt for Easter Eggs, and they don’t find any because we didn’t hide any, we can yell “April Fools!”

July 4th? No, let’s move Independence Day to May 31st. We’re already doing stuff on Memorial Day, which is May 30th. So, celebrating Independence Day on the 31st makes it a two-day party.

Let’s do Labor Day up right. Find out when the NFL season starts and we can do Labor Day that Monday.

Anyway, you get the idea? Like Obama, we don’t need to be bound by a silly calendar. We’re beyond that.