Archive of entries posted on 13th December 2011

lolbama! Part 78

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NOTE: I know the holidays are coming up & all, but I could use a few more entries on lolterizt next week if you have the time. Here’s the uncaptioned picture from last time:

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From Basil:

From James:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Travelwise 42:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Hippie Punchomatic 5000:

From James:

[reference link]

From Mike:

[Has Obama EVER gotten a quote right?]

From me (Harvey):

From Mrs. Arik:

From Arik:

From Travelwise 42:

From Travelwise 42:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Bonus challenge: don’t use the word “coal”.

Maybe Kris for “bury you”, since I assume they no longer teach about Kruschev in public schools.

Unless “Blazing Saddles” is considered obscure, now, in which case it’s a 3-way tie between James, Mike, and me.

What say you?

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: Obama Says We Need Another President

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* Obama says it will likely take more than one president to fix the economy. Isn’t the reason most people don’t think he deserves reelection is that everyone concluded it will take at least one other president than him?

* Harry Reid said “Millionaire job creators are like unicorns. They are impossible to find and don’t exist.” Yes, new wisdom from the guy who once said taxes are voluntary.

Do you get the idea that Democrats understand how jobs are created about as well as a four-year-old understands where babies come from?

* In more news of Democrats dealing well with reality, Debbie Wasserman Schultz went on FOX News to deny that unemployment went up under Obama’s presidency. We should make a deal with the Democrats: They can be undisputed dictators of the world they live in as long as the right gets to be in charge of reality.

* Sometimes it seem like we on the right are losing, but we’re winning in more ways than we sometimes realize. A while ago I showed a graph of opinion on whether handguns should be legal that showed a continuous uptick over the past fifty years, and now Gallup has a graph on opinions about big government since 1965. You may notice a pattern there too.

We’re a very progressive movement.

* Obama has requested that Iran give back our drone.

“Hey, guys, one of our drones went over the fence into your yard. Could you toss it back?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeease.”

“No.”

“Come on, guys! Be nice!”

“No.”

::sobs:: “You’re mean! I’m telling the U.N.!” ::runs away::

* They’re trying to humanize Romney. My suggestion: one of those emotion chips like they gave Data. Worked pretty well for him.

* Huntsman and Gingrich debated yesterday. I dkflaskdfalsda

I just blacked out a second. What happened?

* Democrats think there are improved prospects of Obama being reelected now. Here’s what the DNC said:

“We’ve looked into the eyes of the American people, and we nothing but despair. There’s not a trace of hope left; no one even imagines a better future. So things are really looking up for Obama’s reelection.”

* Some people are thinking Chicago should secede and form its own state. Not Chicago, though — other people in Illinois. Never thought of secession as a way to sort of cut out a cancer, but if you have all the problems in your state congregated into one city, it’s an idea. If this idea catches on, we could have a lot more livable states along with isolated forbidden zones.

* Wisdom of the Day: “N Korea warns of ‘unexpected consequences’ if Christmas lights displayed near DMZ. Like what? Kim Jong Il’s heart growing three sizes?” –Fred Thompson

* Bad lip-reading of Rick Perry’s controversial ad:

Random Thoughts

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If the primary season goes on a bit longer, I think Rick Perry would have a chance to implode even more.

That’s why you limit the government’s power severely. Doesn’t matter how dumb they are if they can’t do anything.

I think we’re starting to understand that Democrats have absolutely no idea how private sector jobs are made.

Here’s a law of economics: You can’t mildly inconvenience a rich person without severely screwing multiple poor and middle class people.

E.g., taxes causing rich to fly first class instead of buying private jets causes middle class people who build jets to lose jobs.

Rich certainly can take higher taxes and be just fine. It’s the people down the line their money would have gone too who won’t last.

Who is this “Harold Angel” everyone is harking?

Making Obama dance

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Do the Republicans have the power to control Obama?

Remember when Obama was planning that 17-day vacation in Hawaii? You know, he needed a break from screwing things up; that can be tiring if you do too much of it.

Well, last week, it was suddenly decided that he’d have to stay in town after all. This, right after GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney criticized the president for taking the vacation:

“I just think it’s time to have a president whose idea of being ‘hands on’ doesn’t mean getting a better grip on the golf club,” Romney told potential caucus voters in Iowa.

Then, last week, GOP candidate Rick Perry took aim at Obama by way of religion:

As President, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion. And I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.

What did Obama do this weekend? He went to church. First time since Easter.

Now, maybe he thought it was Christmas. His calendar does seem to be about 12 days off. Or, he reacted to Perry’s attack. Let’s go with the latter, because it fits with his reaction to Romney’s attack.

This means that Republicans can attack Obama about something, and he’ll then react to it.

If we have Gingrich say that the president doesn’t understand what it’s like to have to flip burgers or wash cars, will we see Obama behind the counter at a Hardee’s or working at the car wash?

If Michele Bachmann says the president doesn’t know what it’s like for families to shop for food on a budget, will we see Obama pushing a shopping cart at the Piggly Wiggly?

It’s possible.

So, what can we criticize Obama about and get him to do in response?

Criticize him for not understanding how hard it is to catch a Road Runner. Then, he’ll put on some ACME Rocket-Powered Tennis Shoes and go running through the desert.

Say he doesn’t understand the plight of bucket inspectors. Then, he’ll stick his head in a bucket.

Slam Obama for not understanding how hard things are for Irish Folk Dance performers. Then, he’ll dance a jig.

Bring up that people who ride shopping carts down hills are having a difficult time in this economy. And there’s only one way for him to understand what they’re going through.

Point out how doesn’t relate to 1950s motorcyclists from Milwaukee who visits Hollywood with his friends. Then, he’ll … no, never mind this one. Obama jumped the shark a long time ago.