Archive of entries posted on 5th December 2011

Nuke the News: Huckabee Forum, Ticking Newt, and Wikipedia Ads

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* I was on the Teri O’Brien show Sunday. You can listen to it here. I’m on about forty minutes in.

* So there was another debate-ish thing Saturday night, a forum hosted by Huckabee where he talked individually with all the candidates. Only caught a little of it (I was watching football like a proper American), but nothing really stuck out. I did like Ron Paul’s answer on how terrorism can be prevented by states having individual laws against violence. What a genius thinker. You know he’ll protect us.

* Huntsman wasn’t at the forum. Apparently, he’s focused just on New Hampshire and said that wouldn’t have helped him there, but you have to wonder about someone so far behind in the polls not looking to get more exposure. And the thing is, I think Huntsman sort of has a shot now. There’s only one other not-Romney left, Newt Gingrich (Ron Paul doesn’t because he’s a nut), and people are already getting a little worried about Newt because we just know he’s going to flame out at some point in a spectacular fashion. He’s a ticking time bomb, people; a bunch of arrogance packed tightly together and waiting to explode. So anyway, I think people are ready to take a look at Huntsman (who does have a great resume), and he did do reasonably well in the last debate. If he can just work on not coming off as a jerk or an awkward alien being trying to emulate the human concept of humor, he might get some consideration. Then it will be between him and Romney for who is the better Mormon candidate. Won’t that be fun.

* BTW, I saw that someone on IMAO was Ron Paul baiting. This will not stand. I will look into the incident.

* So Cain has suspended his campaign. I just want to shake my head. I had so much hope for him, but that’s why you don’t rely on hope in a presidential campaign. Well, we’ll never look at the number “999” the same way again.

* There’s some talk Cain may endorse Newt Gingrich. Newt would probably have a bit to gain from that. His goal from now until the primary election is to sound smart and not implode. And then if he wins the nomination, even more he’ll need to keep himself from imploding until after November 2012. After that, he can crazy away for all I care. He’d have earned it.

* I’m getting tired of the “personal appeals” at the top of every Wikipedia page. Just put a couple ads on the site; you’d make way more than you’d ever would from donations. Youc could even try to work the ads into the articles so they’d be unobtrusive.

“The chupacabra is a legendary cryptid, and thus not a real animal… certainly not as real as the savings you can get from GEICO on car insurance.”

* Wisdom of the Day: “‘Thor’ begins with Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings as astrophysicists. Then the action shifts to Asgard for a more realistic turn.” –Joshua Treviño

* Well, with an 11-1 record, Boise State has finished the season ranked 7th, and get to play… 6-6 Arizona State in The Nothing Worthless Bowl (in Las Vegas!). Why did much worse teams get the at large bids to be in the BCS bowls? Because they have lots of fans who travel well, the BCS explained. Sounds good as long as we’re not pretending the BCS has anything to do with a team’s ability to play football. I just sustain myself with the belief that someday, in some reality, the people behind the BCS will answer for their crimes.

Anyway, we get to see LSU and Alabama play again, and I say if it goes another four quarters with no touchdowns, it should be recorded as a loss for both teams.

Random Thoughts

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I am starting to panic just a little about the Newt surge. So, Huntsman… he does have a nice resume.

It would be funny to see all those liberals quickly backtrack on calling Huntsman the reasonable choice if he started surging in the polls.

Plus someone as awkward at telling jokes as Huntsman is has to be authentic.

Just thinking we’re going to need to give Huntsman some consideration despite how he sometimes comes off as a jackass.

I mean, we have two whole Mormons to choose from; let’s make sure we pick the best one.

I love all these aggressive ads on Wikipedia so they don’t have to have aggressive ads.

“Please read a personal appeal from this crazy cat lady. Please read a personal appeal from obvious douche nozzle.”

I hate Bella and Edward. He’s creepy, she’s a female Napoleon Dynamite.

I vehemently hated every character in the new Twilight movie other than cop mustache.

The first hour of Breaking Dawn was the most excruciating thing I’ve lived through. Kept wanting to scream at the screen “SOMETHING HAPPEN!” Made me yearn for an action packed episode of Felicity. Not the barest bit of plot or conflict to hold onto.

If Herman Cain’s wife drags him to see this film, they can consider it even.

Easily the most awful of the Twilight movies. If your wife wants to take you to it, accidentally shoot yourself in the leg to get out of it.

When the director of Breaking Dawn was asked what inspired him to make the movie, he said it was his “hatred of both God and man.”

THERE’S STILL ANOTHER MOVIE?!!! No! There were four books and my wife dragged me to four movies. No!

Buttercup is crawling around, pulling the rawhide right out of the dog’s mouth. The dog is a good sport.

According to Buttercup’s logic, if she’s supposed to have it, it’s probably not very interesting. Hard to argue with that.

Finally made that donation to the Herman Cain campaign. Now to check the news to see how he’s doing…

Mark Block reacts by looking up into the air and shouting, “NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!”

If Buttercup even hears someone mention “touchdown”, she throws both hands in the air and yells, “Touchdown!”

I wish someone would ask McCain about fracking, because you’d swear it was Colonel Tigh speaking.

Mitt Romney already seems so presidenty that Obama would be able to pretend he’s running against the incumbent.

I’m trying to work on the “you know”s when I’m being interviewed. They slip in so fast I can barely catch them.

New rule: You can’t win the National Championship without scoring at least one touchdown.

For finishing the season ranked 7th, BSU will get to play a 6-6 team in a nothing bowl. I guess that makes sense.

Boise played some really good football, but that’s certainly not as important as having lots of fans who travel well.

So, when do the Ron Paul nuts arrive?

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I don’t know if the mainstream media has covered it, but just in case you hadn’t heard, Herman Cain has dropped out of the race for president. Have the networks and newspapers picked up on that?

Anyway, I had thrown my support behind Cain some time back. I was at his campaign kickoff in Atlanta back in May. And, while I didn’t like the “bad boy” stuff that came up recently, politically, he was one of the candidates who was most like me politically.

Now, I have to find another candidate. And a new sticker for my car.

I think I have my new candidate picked out. But, I expect an onslaught of RONPAUL!!!1!!! supporters, telling me how AWESOEM!!!1! he is. Because that’s what they do.

Some of them sit in their parents’ basements — sort of like the Occupy crowd, except, some of the Paulnuts actually do have jobs, so, they’re a step above the Occupiers. Anyway, they’ll be trolling the internets, looking for Websites that mention the Good Doctor, and bombard it with comments.

They also look for Websites that talk about other things, and bombard them with comments, too. Like articles about buying baby cribs or sprucing up your Christmas tree. Seriously, you can find RONPAUL!!!1!!! comments all over the place and way off topic. Plus, they can’t spell worth a darn. And they capitalize all the wrong words.

They have dropped off recently, but with a bunch of aimless Herman Cain supporters out there, look for them to take up the task of proselytizing for the Church of Ron Paul.

College football playoffs

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If you’re a football fan, get ready for my last college football post here at IMAO. If you’re not a college football fan, you can skip this post as you plan for your 17-day Hawaii vacation.
Continue reading ‘College football playoffs’ »

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