IMAO Gets a Musey!

4of7 finished his award for those who inspire one of his drawings.

You might be on the list of recipients

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For the second year in a row, Jinxmedic101 of Crew Secured – Brace for Impact has honored IMAO with the “Society for the Preservation of Armed Dinosaurs” Award:

I thought we were out of the running for the Spaddie this year, what with all the baby blogging, but apparently IMAO is still America’s best source for the advocacy of attaching weaponry to prehistoric reptiles.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post, and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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Brian of I Salute You has honored IMAO with the “This Site Is Approved By Official Iranian Salute Guy” Award.

Another corrupt regime genuflects before the might of IMAO!

Still waiting for a bow from Obama, but that’s probably just a matter of time.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post, and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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THE LORD OF THE LEFT WING – Part I

Since Harvey saw fit to share his version of the Eye of Sauron earlier today, I figured I’d take this opportunity to repost this little piece of satire from America is an Obamanation! that received very little attention when I posted it over there. I think it deserves a wider audience and I hope you agree…

THE LORD OF THE LEFT WING

by Erik Nolt, Jr.

BOOK I – THE FELONSHIP OF THE QUISLINGS

This story is largely concerned with habits… bad voting habits… and from its paragraphs a reader may (with any luck) discover much of their own character and a little of their own history.

CHAPTER I: A Long, Expensive Party

Long ago, in the eastern region of Morpork, there dwelt in the fiery depths of Mount Dumb in the heart of the ancient city of Wasting-Tons, a great and powerful evil necromancer known as Lord Soros. It was here within his evil volcano lair that he set about a plot to take over all of the once proud land of Belittled Worth.

Belittled Worth
Map of Belittled Worth

To accomplish this end, he needed an army — An army of mindless dolts who would bend easily to his will and would not be tempted by conscience to stray from his mission of darkness. And so it was that he constructed his own soldiers by fusing the DNA of several lowly creatures, each selectively bred for the worst of their traits.

Eye of Soros
The Eye of Soros

He began, appropriately enough, with demons, selected for their lack of morals and pure wickedness, as well as their slyness and ability to easily possess the souls of mortal men and to tempt them into evil deeds with their glib tongues.

Next, he selected the orcs, twisted, ugly and fierce warriors capable of great cruelty.

Then, common sewer rats, cunning and sneaky and adept at spreading pestilence and disease, and laying waste to whole cities.

Finally, he threw in the essence of ticks, parasitic blood-sucking insects, as a final touch.

To celebrate the birth of this new lifeform, the evil Lord Soros threw a party in their honor, a party so infamous for its immense cost, sheer excess and unbridled debauchery, the mere mention of it will forever fill good men with the urge to vomit… and so it was that the Demon-Orc-Rat-Tick Party was born… and continues to this very day… and all of us have been stuck with the bill!

Blarney Fink
Blarney Fink (D – Massahugedebts)

Over the years, even as the endless celebration of all things wicked and depraved continued unabated, some folks shortened the name of this nightmarish cauldron of malevolence to the “Democrat” Party. Many of its witless worshipers, however, insisted on the more formal “Democratic” Party, arguing that the former ignored the blood-sucking parasite portion of their ancestry, something of which they were, surprisingly enough, quite proud. To this day, there are those that continue to try, stubbornly, to drop that pesky last syllable in spite of the protests, but find, much to their chagrin, that you can never quite manage to get the “ic” out of the Democratic Party.

To be continued…

NOTE: For those that may be curious, I already have the artwork ready for Part II and hope to come up with some fitting story content to go with it soon.

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So Frank shoots me an email saying “This blog needs more nepotism! My Uncle Bruce gave IMAO an award. Post it so that I can tell my stupid little sister that I already filled my quota of family-member blogging for the year and she’ll stop nagging me to mention her costume-designing credits

Thus Uncle Bruce has honored IMAO with the “The War Against Wall Street Award” Award.

What Frank didn’t mention is that Uncle Bruce is one of those diabolical Wall Street types himself, who goes around tricking people into sending him money, which he then squanders on worthful stocks, leaving unwitting investors with nothing but their principal plus capital gains and dividends.

A low creature, indeed. And one to be avoided.

If you MUST invest, remember to only do so for purposes of spreading the wealth around, because that’s good for everybody. It’s ok not to punish yourself for your success, but DO make sure that everyone behind you has a chance for success, too.

NOTE: Still caught up. Non-Frank-family-member submissions now being accepted!


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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House of Payne of House of Payne International has honored IMAO with the “The Mitt Romney Honorary Suspected Arsonist Award – presented to IMAO by House of Payne International” Award.

As much as we at IMAO enjoy playing with fire, we generally discourage the combustion of non-terrorist property. Yes, we know how compulsively entrancing those pretty, pretty flames are, just as we are familiar with the dark and secret longing for the near-erotic thrill of watching the magic embers fly to the heavens as the filthy earth below is cleansed and purified.

That’s why we live in America, where the National Anthem celebrates rockets and bombs, and children are encouraged to play with explosives every summer.

Although I think this year we’ll try setting fire to a pile of over-taxed tea bags. Napalm may smell like victory, but burning tea smells like independence.

NOTE: All caught up – Send! Send! Send!


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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Justin of Guano Loco has honored IMAO with the “Guano Loco’s Promoter of Common Sense” Award.

Promoting common sense?

Well, flattered, to be sure, but in good conscience I must confess that we’re actually just a bunch of pajama-wearing, basement-dwelling goofballs who take malicious pleasure in mocking the absurd, short-sighted, emotion-laden, reason-deficient ideas of the bleeding-heart left wing in the manner best suited to hurting feelings and making blow-hard, stuffed-shirt, power-hungry, appeasement-mad politicians and their squid-spined supporters pop their collective corks.

But then again, to paraphrase Arthur C. Clarke “Any sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from common sense”.

NOTE: All caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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Wolfman George of Monkeys on Horses! has honored IMAO with the “Monkeys on Horses ‘You Blew It Up! Award” Award.

Why did IMAO blow up the Statue of Liberty? Several reasons:

* Because replacing the statue costs less than having Obama do fly-by photo-ops over it.

* Anything to prevent Letterman from calling her a slutty airline stewardess.

* We didn’t blow it up, we just “restructured” it.

Besides, Obama told us that if we didn’t blow up the Statue of Liberty, he’d declare IMAO “too big to fail” and have it come out of bankruptcy as a cat blog.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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Helen Thomas (via her shameless boy-toy FormerHostage) has honored IMAO with the “Zombie Helen (No Brains!) Worst Blogger Since Herbert Hoover Award” Award.

First, I’d like to congratulate Helen on bravely coming out of the closet on her status as an Undead-American. I mean, sure, it was kind of an open secret like Adam Lambert’s homosexuality or David Letterman’s fetish for airline stewardesses and their underage daughters, but still, we gotta give Helen the credit she’s due.

And double credit for admitting that she’s part of the shunned “no brains” community of re-animated corpses, who prefer to feast on the crunchy, empty skulls of Democrats, rather than the sweet, chewy brains of Republicans.

It’s a hard existence. Sorta like being a vegan in Texas.

As for Hoover being a bad blogger, well, in his defense, he didn’t have a Democrat president to make fun of like IMAO does.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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Marty of No Time For Recess has honored IMAO with the “This Blog Has Been Awarded The Bully In The Playground Award” Award.

I’m a little confused. Does Marty mean to suggest that IMAO goes stomping around, giving wedgies and Indian burns to all those weak, nerdy blogs with glasses & acne who think they’re so smart, then punching them and stealing their lunch money?

Or does he mean “Bully!” in the Teddy Roosevelt sense of the word, meaning that IMAO is the best thing to ever happen to the blogosphere?

Either way, he’s right.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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