Archive for the ‘Random Thought’ Category

Random Thoughts: Fantastic 4, College Costs, and Tromp

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 9:05 am

Let my daughter watch Jem the other day and now I can’t get the theme song out of my head.

Never got over the suspicion that Jem was inauthentically outrageous, despite repeated assertions to the contrary.

Didn’t watch the debates, but interesting that women – Carly Fiorina and Megyn Kelly – are dominating all the talk about them.

And neither of them got where they are through marriage.

I like Tromp! He is angry and yells at people! Need more Tromp!

“So do you want some sort of coherent politically philosophy, or are you happy with just angry yelling?”
“Tromp!”

Apparently a large number of people can’t tell the difference between being tough and being thin-skinned and pissy.

Are there people who really didn’t get that Trump is a joke candidate until the Megyn Kelly line?

Was there anything so awful Ted Kennedy could do that he’d lose support? Such is Trump’s base.

I can still be surprised by how silly Trump gets, but I don’t take him seriously enough to get outraged.

*dog repeatedly runs into glass door*
“He never backs down! He just like hero Donald Tromp!”

I’m glad we’re finally cracking down on the number one threat to black people: Bernie Sanders.

Difference between Democrats and Republicans: Republicans are working really hard to stop the horrible person who is their frontrunner.

Why did anyone get it in there head Fantastic 4 is a great franchise to keep trying to remake? Best I can imagine it being is watchable.

There’s a rock guy, a stretch guy, and invisible girl, and someone with actual superpowers. Not much they can do.

I just don’t get the idea of making into a movie every comicbook that everyone has heard of but no one actually reads.

*chihuahua viciously attacks the shoes of everyone entering the room*
TRUMP SUPPORTER: “I think that dog is raising some legitimate points.”

The feminist future is men starving from lack of sandwiches and women being overrun with spiders.

So what did people think of season 2 of HBO’s Real Detective Stories or Detective Brand Detectives or whatever it’s called?

Is the Trump candidacy basically the plot to The Babadook?

“Sorry, President Trump can’t meet with the ambassadors from China. He has a busy day planned of responding to YouTube comments.”

Every effort the government has made to help with college costs has caused them to further skyrocket. Just stop it.

The government keeps throwing money at college and costs keep rising. So Hillary’s plan? THROW MORE MONEY AT IT! Gah!

Student debt is the symptom of the problem. What needs to be done is to finally give colleges incentives to actually cut costs.

BTW, this issue of college costs was talked about in the first episode of Love Gov.

If I were rich and smart and attractive, I’d mention that constantly in every conversation.

Wow, Trump’s position on abortion has really changed since back when he said, “Abort all the babies. They’re a bunch of slobs and losers.”

You don’t need to be politically correct, but it helps to be correct about something.

We need a fighter who will FIGHT ALL THE THINGS!

Everyone loves my novel. There’s a handful of negative reviews, but they’re all from losers and slobs.

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Random Thoughts: Lions, Iran, and Trump

Friday, August 7, 2015 9:02 am

When was the last time a lion did something that benefited society? On the other hand, dentists help us not look British.

Why is a lion the animal we freak out about when it gets hunted? Lions are mean and they bite.

“Watch Jon Stewart DESTROY his anti-matter counterpart when they collide.”

I just can’t take Objective C seriously because it’s boolean values are “YES” and “NO”. Was it made for three year olds?

And what’s with the bracket function calls? “I’m going to have C language do function calls like Lisp because I’m a dangerous psychopath.”

I like Swift, though. No semicolon seems natural. If every line needs a semicolon, then no line needs it.

They should do something like the Dummies series but instead for journalists like “Christianity for Journalists” and “Guns for Journalists”.

Biden needs to enter the race to give the Democrats a wider selection of elderly white people.

So Five Guys still batting about .500 on remembering bacon for to go orders. They owe me like $50 of bacon by now.

Yeah, I’m a sucker.

Wow. Agents of SHIELD way better in second season. All the boring characters were made interesting. Coulson actually least interesting.

I went from actively rooting for Skye’s death to caring about her character.

First we elect president Biden. Then he gets kidnapped by ninjas. And then we get Bad Dudes for real.

Dentists are killing lions at an alarming rate of 1.

Wait… we’re not supposed to destroy robot hitchhikers?

Can’t we all agree that Trump and Jeb are both equally horrible and idiotic choices?

First episode of Love Gov is well over 500k views. Hope everyone checked it out, as it’s awesome.

Jeb said something stupid? No time to tell me what it was; lets just dump him.

I’m kind of proud about how the amount I care about lions remains fairly constant.

Ayatollah: “Death to America!”
Obama: *whispering* “`To be honest, that’s fine with me come 2017.”

Half of the Clintons’ charitable donations are to The Clinton Foundation. The other half is to The Human Fund.

Would be neat to see an Obama versus Trump debate. They’re at about the same level of obnoxiousness.

Is Five Night’s at Freddy’s guy setting some sort of sequel record, as we’re to number 4 and it hasn’t even been a year since 1st released?

Not criticizing Five Nights at Freddy’s. Each sequel has changed up the gameplay and been an increase in quality.

Can we least admit violently dismembering tiny humans because they inconvenience us is not the most civilized thing humanity has ever done?

Good debate question for Jim Gilmore: “Can you prove you exist?”

I’m sorry John Stewart passed away. He mad me laugh a few times.

This Trump phenomenon is a bit like watching Naked Gun with someone who’s convinced it’s a dramatic thriller.

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Random Thoughts: Trump, Extremism, and Gun Control

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 9:09 am

These male feminists seem like an evolutionary dead end for obvious reasons.

Exactly what “cuckservative” means seems less relevant than the people trying to use it as as slur are all dumb racists.

Just cucking with my cucks.

Would be funny if there was a follow up to the NYMag article. “I had a lapse in my feminism. I murdered Paulo.”

How do the white supremacists expect Trump to win if they chase away the cuckservative vote?

So the Democrats really can’t find anyone other than white people to run for president?

If you want to keep someone from getting one of the hundreds of millions of guns in this country, it’s not a law you need but a magic spell.

“Hello. I am rich white woman who married into position of power. Vote for me to help feminism, poor people, social justice.”

Only the government should have guns and they should use them to make people bake cakes.

Trying out Google Cardboard. Pretty amazing how well the default iPhone hardware works for head tracking.

Interesting how in this country people can say the most insulting things about gun owners without fear of reprisal (beyond the ballot box).

PRO TIP: One of the keys to appealing to white people on issues of race is to not constantly refer to them as “white people”.

No disagreement with anyone who argues Republicans are awful. I only have a beef with them if they do it to ignore that Democrats are awful.

Tried watching Star Wars with my daughter today.
“Episode 4? We should start with episode 1.”
“Absolutely not!”

Second season of Agents of SHIELD is leagues better than first. Actually care about plot and characters.

And Skye can be on screen and talking and I don’t actively wish for her death.

As awful and as ridiculous a candidate as Trump is, it’s still really easy to see why people would pick him over the GOP establishment.

Why all the focus on the weirdos supporting Trump? Who are these sociopathic idiots supporting Jeb?

From a left-wing perspective, innovation is problematic as it’s extremely disruptive to central planning.

Hillary is dishonest and corrupt, but without any indication of competency. She’s not Frank Underwood; she’s Cersei Lannister.

Everyone should have some “extreme” views. The key to not sounding like a nut is being aware when your ideas are extreme.

Expected a lot of silly things to come out of the Trump candidacy, but “embolden white supremacists” really came out of left field.

The left should try to understand why they utterly lost on gun control rather than pretend the debate is still ongoing.

I’m sure a few more angry tweets about gun control will totally reverse the half a century trend on that issue.

I completely forgot Rand Paul is running for president. He was the one who was supposed to be the eccentric choice.

If we really want to elect a woman president, just remember there are a lot of other women than Hillary. Might want to cast a wider net.

The alternative to the free market is to use force to prevent peaceful, voluntary exchange.

I do highly recommend Arthur Brook’s The Conservative Heart. Very good ideas on the positive approach the right should be taking.

Probably doesn’t jive much with Trump.

If we don’t murder a lion every so often just because we can, nature gets uppity.

Crushing tiny humans to death and harvesting their organs is a normal, unremarkable part of modern, civilized society.

Is all that outrage over that dentist shooting a lion because of love of lions or hatred of zebras?

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Random Thoughts: Trump, White People, and Climate Change

Thursday, July 23, 2015 8:53 am

“To actually get something useful out of this deal would have taken major concessions on our part.”

Don’t get all this worry. Pretty unlikely Iran is going to nuke us. Maybe some other country, but not us.

As much as I think Trump is a clown and the least trustworthy person in the race, it would still be hard choice between him and Jeb.

I think we should err on the side of our questions to politicians being too tough versus worrying whether we’re nice.

Like our new house, but went to replace our air filters and there’s four of them and they’re each a different size.

Three of them require a step stool to reach. Just seems like that could be designed better.

How exactly does making military bases “gun free zones” make sense to anyone?

Wasn’t it Hillary’s husband who made military bases “gun free”? Someone asking her opinion on that? Are we allowed to ask her questions?

Remember weird gun policy stories from my dad in Vietnam where he had to take a gun to leave base and then hide it so he could go in the PX.

Do I need to draw up a Venn diagram of “people who obey signs” and “people intent on murder” or are we all aware what that looks like?

Is there some sort of registry where you can check if an employee of Gawker lives in your neighborhood?

There was a cobra loose in Austin, but it was found. Dead. Now I’m scared of WHAT KILLED THE COBRA!!!

Trump is a clown who says clown things? :surprised face emoji:

I can’t pretend outrage at anything Trump does. That would be like getting angry at a pig for rolling around in the mud. Expected behavior.

What I don’t get is that people like Trump because he “speaks his mind.” No he doesn’t. If he did, he’d say, “Look at me!” over and over.

Rhyming and meter is an invention of the white patriarchy to control speech! #NNPoetry

When you see how white Bernie Sanders supporters are, you realize the diversity of the Democrat Party is very segregated.

I guess you can say the Democrat Party is made up of a number of separate but equal racial special interests.

(they’re not actually equal)

Hear some people punish kids these days by taking away iPad and making them watch TV. Cruel. When kids are bad, I only give them an iPad 1.

I hope they chase all the white people out of the Democrat Party. Those people are awful.

In my dream world, we take every politician as seriously as we do Trump.

Innovation is nothing but disruptive to central planning.

So what caused the Gawker editors to resign? They got that same curse put on them the gypsies put on Angelus?

46 years ago we were able to go to the moon. We can’t do it anymore, though, because of OSHA regulations.

I assume MMFA is classified as hate group. Doesn’t seem psychologically healthy to spend all day focusing on things you hate.

Just being logical, there’s always going to be a bit of a morality problem with an organization that makes good money chopping up babies.

Uber, but for bad comparisons to Uber.

Airbnb, but for taxi cabs.

Being a Trump fan tells me you like partisan battles but don’t take the underlying ideas very seriously.

Trump is a conservative like Stephen Colbert is a conservative.

Trump is that birther nonsense again – the subset of the right who are as intellectually incoherent as the left.

I hate the establishment GOP and think they’re useless too. Doesn’t mean I’m going to prop up some noisy, left-wing clown.

You don’t see many on the left go after specific things Jesus said. There’s something refreshingly honest about that.

“Why should we listen to Jesus? He never even went to college.”

I never got all these music awards. Where are the music punishments for bad music?

I can’t believe all these troglodytes crying about “climate change.” Don’t be so closed minded that you hate and fear change.

“I don’t want the climate to change. I like it back like it was in the 50s… when we kept minorities in their place.”
Shut up, racist!

“I’m going to murder a bunch of minorities! …Wait, I can get hate crime penalties in addition to execution? I’m going to rethink this…”

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Random Thoughts: China, Guns, and Pluto

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 8:58 am

I thought the whole country was of one mind on the Confederate flag now, but Massachusetts just voted to fly it over their capitol. Weird.

“Going to pahk the cah and salute the Confederaht flag.”

If year ago you told me I’d write series in which human personification of governmentt gives a speech about Aquaman, I’d say, “Sounds about right.”

Cool write up of Love Gov. It’s really great to be working for Emergent Order on these unique projects.

If you want to escape your privilege, you need to take a time machine to the Stone Age.

I think a Bush vs. Clinton election would be great if we’re trying to set a record for depressed turnout.

Yes. We all know now. Mitt Romney was absolutely right about everything. But guess what: Just didn’t like him.

It’s kinda scary when a country like China has information so sensitive you’d only expect Google to have it.

How do I set my watchman? It just keeps flashing “12:00″.

The problem is that no matter how solid we make the Three Laws of Politics, it all gets overridden by the zeroth law of “get elected.”

I thought quaaludes was something you bet when Captain Kirk fights an alien.

There are over 300 million guns in this country. I don’t care what background checks you have; it will never be hard to get one.

Preventing determined criminals from getting access to guns similar in scope to preventing determined criminals from getting access to lamps.

Any realistic gun policy starts with the assumption criminals can get guns whenever they want them.

Why didn’t OPM listen to Neil deGrasse Tyson and create an unhackable system?

Just had a thought: That Grande person who hates America – where was she when this hack happened?

The government is great for anything where you don’t care about cost or competency.

I just don’t understand how it’s physically possible to take Donald Trump seriously.

Rejected first draft To Kill a Mockingbird is at least educational from a writer’s stand point.

Sounds like the new solo Batman movie will have the same problem as Argo: great director, meh lead actor.

My 4yo daughter was watching something called “Mother Goose Club” and I told her what the first 2 rules are but she didn’t get the reference.

I thought Scott Walker announced like a month ago. This is like impossible to keep track of.

The only evidence Jesus is a socialist is the one time he used violent force to stop voluntary exchange.

That was more of a temple desecration issue, but that’s the only thing near a socialist act from Jesus.

So I’ve learned Democrats are pretty scared of Walker.

What’s happened to Bill Cosby has to be an alarming trend to Bill Clinton.

Finally got to me Mary Katharine Ham in person! Had lunch with her along with the lovely and talented SarahK.

Seems like Austin is a better place for meeting people in person than Boise.

Can Pluto be a planet again now that NASA proved it exists? When does it supernova?

Of course, why would we believe NASA about Pluto after they’ve been spying on our phone calls and emails?

$400 PS4 bundle with Arkham Knight so tempting. I want to punch bad guys! I want to punch lots of them in series!

It’s not like selling organs is the most ethically dubious thing Planned Parenthood does.

Giving Agents of SHIELD another try. I hear eventually you don’t spend the whole episode hoping Skye gets killed.

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Random Thought: Independence Day, Supreme Court, and Modern Dirty Harry

Thursday, July 9, 2015 9:35 am

There error that both President Obama’s supporters and detractors make is believing there is something exceptional about him.

Why does Google Chat now have deflated smiley faces?

A great Vox article would be “Our website proves the 1st Amendment was a mistake.”

It’s possible to criticize conservatives without bring up race, gender, or sexuality.

Yes, it’s been 10 years now with the t-shirt babe. Starting a blog was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

It’s not easy being a country that’s a million times better than the 2nd best country. I hope July 4th is a day nations can appreciate that.

So was it ever explained how Danger Mouse lost his eye?

Did math give a concession speech after Greece’s no vote?

There’s no more American way to end a 4th July weekend than winning at soccer.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. The first is charges of racism and sexism.

“Entitlements? The only thing you’re absolutely entitled to is death.” -Frank J. 2016

Solution to Supreme Court is make it like jury duty. Grab people off the street to rule based on plain meaning of language in Constitution.

The Constitution is a frick’n six page document. Doesn’t require years as a judge to understand anymore than rules to Monopoly.

4 of 9 justices couldn’t find “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed” in the Constitution. Learned stupidity.

The hardest thing about seeing a socialist state run out of money is resisting the urge to laugh. B/c people really are going to suffer.

The left believes in separation of church and state in only one direction.

“I have a great idea!”
*pulls out a gun and shoots ISIS*

The popularity of Bernie Sanders shows that the Democrat Party has been neglecting it’s base: old, white hippies.

Talk softly and carry a big idea.

What if the Han Solo origin movie is just an hour and half of him at the mall trying on vests?

Reminder: There’s like 320 million people in the U.S. Seems like we could afford to have high standards for the president.

Proud of the #LoveGov series, but found out that the name has already been used to refer to Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer :(

So the China cyber attack has begun, right? Civilization was fun while it lasted. Well, it was okay.

So how long until SJWs demand the name be changed to “Batperson v Superperson”?

Okay, I’m finally going to ask: What in the world is a “sunny bunch”?

I’d love to see a new Dirty Harry movie where he reacts to the idiocy of modern day San Francisco.

“Detective, Callahan! What did you do?!”
“You said we’re a sanctuary city and I had to let him go.”
“You dropped him off a building!”

Oh, good ole’ Dirty Harry. His badge only ever got in the way of catching the perp.

“Here’s your trigger warning: Shut up or I pull this trigger.”

“Safe space is what I call your grave.”

“Don’t worry about my white privilege. Worry about the privilege of the guy with the loaded .44″

“This is a .44 magnum, the… Sorry, an 11mm magnum. Keep forgetting we’re metric now.”

I think a killer business idea now would be a furniture store that just specializes in fainting couches.

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Random Thoughts: Supreme Court, Peas, and Canada

Thursday, July 2, 2015 9:10 am

Ever notice how white liberals get extra irrational angry at conservatives who are minorities?

To advance on the issue of race, the left needs to focus more on their own racism than what they perceive as everyone else’s.

We wouldn’t need all these Supreme Court decisions if sweeping legislation wasn’t hastily scrawled in crayon.

So is the job of SCOTUS to proofread laws?

Peak stupid will be when schools reissue new history books that don’t include the Confederate flag.

They’ll tweak and adjust ACA until it works kind of like you’d tweak and adjust something you found in the toilet until it’s edible.

Now everyone’s got a right to the thing that no one agrees exactly what it is.

From a Christian perspective, Jesus was pretty clear on what God’s model for marriage is, but said nothing on what that means for government.

Obama: “I’m really happy this thing happened that I was cynically against like just a couple months ago.”

I see a lot of angry reactions. Strangely enough, most of it from supporters of gay marriage.

Is anyone seriously arguing polygamy will continue to be illegal? That would seem really incoherent.

The idea that the Constitution never means anything concrete or specific will continue to have implications in lots of fun areas.

If the right is looking for a victory, mentions of gun control sure got dropped pretty quickly.

Key to pronouncing town names in Texas: Think of the most obvious way to pronounce it. You’ve discovered how it’s not pronounced.

E.g., if you saw town called “Manor”, how would you pronounce it? WRONG!

I heard that in the olden days specially chosen people would read omens from animal entrails. It’s like an early Supreme Court.

The idea of inequality is that no matter what riches you get, you can’t enjoy it because someone else has more. And that person is greedy.

It would be neat if we had a constitution that meant concrete things that didn’t change based on who reads it.

Know who I blame? The Founding Fathers. Should have been more clear.

Man I feel smart now for that time Greece asked to borrow $20 from me and I said no.

No country elected math, but math still gets the final say about your spending.

The liberal Supreme Court justices are a bit like the NYT editorial board in that they’re intellectually incoherent and yet very predictable.

In contrast, Chief Justice Roberts is intellectually incoherent and unpredictable.

Now let’s take inventory of who changed their logos to rainbow color and prepare to get judgey of whoever changes back to normal first.

Apple app review process was more stressful than I thought. Theoretically, they can just ding you for anything.

Apple released their main reasons they reject apps. 42% was “other.” Not super helpful.

Anyway, I programmed an app. I also wrote a script for a video series. You’ll see both later this month.

Everyone focusing on microaggressions is allowing me to completely get away with all my nanoaggressions.

Ever tried dumping a bowl of peas on your NYTimes before reading it? Can’t hurt!

“We shoved as many peas as we could into Thomas Friedman’s mouth and now he sounds even smarter! Peas!”

“Instead of sprinkles, try peas on your ice cream. We’re not asking. We have a gun.”

“We buried Paul Krugman in a mountain of peas. He might be dead. We don’t know. Someone please stop us.”

#AskPOTUS What would you ask you?

Canada Day celebrate the first time the U.S. noticed there was this place called Canada above them. It’s happened six more times since.

“It’s like I’m in the U.S., but everything is slightly off in a creepy way. Is this the Twilight Zone?”
“No. Welcome to Canada!”

My 2yo son is really into Danger Mouse on Netflix. I had completely forgotten about that show.

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Random Thoughts: Gun Control and the Confederate Flag

Thursday, June 25, 2015 8:17 am

What is the gun control that keeps a person wanting to commit murder from getting one of the hundreds of millions of guns in this country?

I’m sorry, but saying “gun control” in response to a shooting like this make you an unserious person. There’s no logic to it.

It’s about the same as saying, “We need stricter laws against murder!”

I actually don’t see why I should care who is put on what bill. I use a debit card.

Maybe instead of repeating your same gun control arguments you should try reflecting on why most people keep rejecting them.

My 4yo beat me in her first try at Wii Bowling so I don’t feel like much of a father today :(

As soon as they know you have weakness, it’s all over.

Is anyone maintaining Stonehenge? What’s if it’s keeping sealed in an ancient evil?

I also never understood why would you want to fly a flag commemorating people who were whupped by a bunch of dandy Yankees?

New Metroid Prime!”
YAY!
“Four-player co-op.”
Nooooooooo!

Has any rapper ever tried having a normal name? “Hi, I’m Bob the rapper.” I’d give his music-like recordings a try.

They should make a Spider-man movie that reboots with a second actor halfway through.

Why would you need a Confederate flag for a Civil War reenactment? I don’t remember Captain America or Iron Man using a particular flag.

I know it’s a big controversy, but does Hillary really need to get her Confederate flag tattoo lasered off? It’s pretty faded at her age.

The Confederate flag has become a symbol of people against banning the Confederate flag.

I’ve never actually seen Gone with the Wind. I guess I missed my chance.

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Random Thoughts: Clowns, Dolezal, and Jeb!

Wednesday, June 17, 2015 8:23 am

Can’t wait for October 21st, because then hopefully we’ll stop getting those false “Today is the day Marty McFly went to future” posts.

I just don’t get college these days. It seems like there has to be a lot cheaper ways to become obnoxiously stupid.

Eventually so many things will be declared offensive that only hate mongers will spend any moment of the day not angry about something.

We’re coming up with new things to be offended by at a much quicker rate than we’re retiring old things. This is not sustainable.

What’s a scientific term that refers to whether a majority of a human’s cells contain a Y chromosome?

Someone needs to guy-splain to Vox that they’re a bunch of clowns.

We have a clown culture growing in this country, led by things such as Vox. That’s not acceptable.

Does Twitter need a new CEO? Because I use Twitter.

We need a word that means “non-avian dinosaurs and their marine and flying reptile contemporaries that are all now extinct”.

Race is much more of a social construct than gender. #RachelDolezal

Is it wrong to call people on Twitter idiots when they self-identify as smart?

You ever get this feeling the president ain’t that great at being a leader?

Man, we have some weird gnats to choke on lately.

My 4yo daughter wanted me to wear a cape and save her from a dragon, so I had to lecture her on the damsel in distress trope.

Got an unopened but empty can of Coke in a 24 pack. Did they share it without asking us?
Empty Coke

The Jeb Bush logo reminds me of the Boise public library.
CHduoZGUcAAPGxn

This brand names seems like it’s trying way too hard. You’re friggin’ soap and water, dude.
CHesnBmUAAA78Mr

“The heavens will weep at our bubbles!”

I actually don’t have strong feelings on JEB!!!11!!1!!eleventy!1!! as a candidate.

Show is Game of Thrones show spoiling book 6 now? Or will they wildly diverge now? Or am I foolish to think another book is ever coming?

I thought Oldboy was going to be about a young Gary Oldman, but that wasn’t it at all.

My guess at the end of Game of Thrones would be Daenerys suddenly falling down a staircase and dying.

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Random Thoughts: Metric System and Being Offended

Wednesday, June 10, 2015 7:40 am

I appreciate the metric system as a scientist. I loathe it as a writer.

Community season six finale was one of the all time best. Hope we get a season seven (movie continuation of shows are always weird).

You can favorite your own tweets? This changes everything!

The ultimate goal of Social Justice Warriors is to find a bigot more hateful and closed-minded than themselves.

So Facebook conveniently keeps a tally of how many friends wished you happy birthday. What am I supposed to do with that?

The right bombing the Middle East created ISIS, but the left being insufferable jackasses created the right.

In a free society, there is no question that citizens are allowed to have guns. It’s only debatable whether the government should have any.

Aw, man. Looks like I need to upgrade my computer if I want to play the new Batman game. Stupid next gen.

Went to this really cheap Chinese food restaurant. You couldn’t get sweet & sour; you had to pick one or the other.

My iPad 3 keeps freezing and crashing when downloading or updating apps (perhaps any big downloads). Anyone else experience this?

Yeah, I know I need a new iPad. Those iPad Airs make an iPad 3 look like a clunky iPad 1.

Did Lego Minecraft with my daughter, but hard to tell we followed directions versus putting it together randomly.
Buttercup and Lego Minecraft

Lego Minecraft is basically Lego Legos. It’s Lego Inception.

The NYT’s political commentary could be replaced with “Republicans bad. Democrats good.” written over and over and you’d be just as informed.

I’m so progressive that I’m offended by more things before breakfast than you’ve been offended by all month.

I’m so progressive, I’ve found things in a sensory deprivation chamber to be offended by.

I’m so progressive, that if a tree falls in the woods and on one is there to hear it, I’m still offended.

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Random Thoughts: FIFA and Patriot Act

Wednesday, June 3, 2015 7:56 am

What is it about trains that makes them objects of endless fascination to small children and Democrats?

Texas sure has some interesting weather. Time to swim around the tornadoes on my way to work.

Anytime I watched a soccer game and saw all the people pretending to be excited by it, I said, “This has to be a scam of some sort.”

It’s good we have Bernie Sanders in the race for people looking for someone even older and less relevant than Hillary.

I’m bought a house in Texas. And I did it with a conventional loan this time like I’m a big boy.

Of course FIFA is corrupt. The reason we get all those boring 0-0 scores is because both teams are being paid to throw the game.

I’m looking forward to Pataki versus Sanders in the general election.

So how hard would it be to make it so you could hold the iPhone in portrait but it films in landscape?

Decided I’m going to die in Austin because I’m definitely never moving again.

Is Patriot Act where Whoopi Goldberg joined the Army to hide out from the mob?

Why does Siri always change the subject when I ask if she’s spying on me for the NSA?

At this point it would be easier if you announce if you’re not running for president. BTW, I have no announcement to make.

“I would like to take this opportunity to officially launch my campaign for president.” -Hillary in the first presidential debate

Reminder: You don’t get to choose whether criminals are armed. Only whether law abiding people are.

The whole investigation started when the FBI asked who was in charge of FIFA and thought they were given a clearly made up name.

People need to get better at sorting out when it’s society oppressing them and when it’s reality.

There’s little in this life I love as much as the extra syllable my 4yo daughter puts in “hamburger.”

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Random Thoughts: Supergirl and Letterman

Tuesday, May 26, 2015 7:52 am

So who are your top 25 GOP presidential primary candidates?

What I get from the Supergirl trailer controversy is that it’s not feminist to include things known to appeal to women.

I’d watch if they have over the top misogynist Superman. “Should call you Supper-girl, because you should be in the kitchen making my supper!”

The left feel they have a right to wield racism and sexism for the cause of “social justice.”

“Why’d you stop watching Game of Thrones?”
“Rape, murder, arson, and rape.”
“You said rape twice.
“I don’t like rape.”

Google Docs red-lined “Doctor” and asked “Did you mean ‘Docter’?” Did I go crazy?

My 2yo son bit me when I refused to help him with an iPad game. I admire his passion.

I used to stay up late and watch Letterman and then change channels to Conan. Haven’t watched any late night in ages, though.

My 4yo never gets my 80s movie references.

Surprised people settled where there are tornadoes. You’d think they’d take it as a signal to leave when the wind turns into a giant monster.

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Mad Men and Biker Gangs

Monday, May 18, 2015 8:06 am

So was the Black Widow movie sketch on SNL making fun of sexism or making fun of women for liking dumb romantic comedies over action movies?

Jeb Bush is the Schrödinger’s Cat of Iraq invasion.

If you’re upset about Mad Men ending, at least you have it’s spinoff to look forward to: Mad Max.

We obviously need to ban motorcycles. Smart Car drivers never form gangs.

The last Mad Men episode I saw was the one from the first season with the hobo. Will I be able to follow the finale?

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Random Thoughts: Blaming Obama and Trains

Thursday, May 14, 2015 8:14 am

There’s a lengthy review of my novel Superego at the SF magazine Perihelion.

Have some of you not bought my novel yet? Because that’s just weird.

The football throw guy cheated! He couldn’t throw the football as good as he throwed it!

How is all this police stuff news to everyone? If you ever watched an episode of Cops, they randomly murder like two people in each one.

I don’t follow as many women as men on Twitter, but in real life I stare at women more than men if that counts for anything.

Good way to end my 4yo’s questions and not look like bad guy:
“Why can’t I have ice cream for breakfast?”
“Because of a law President Obama passed.”

I keep confusing Liberty Mutual with the robot insurance people.

I think it would be really symbolic of our times if we increased funding for trains and took it out of space exploration.

Could Google make a self-driving train? Sounds a million times easier than a self-driving car.

I think we should just keep invading Iraq until we get it right.

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Random Thoughts: Black Widow, Britain, and Semicolons

Monday, May 11, 2015 8:12 am

Not much of a feminist, but it was disturbing how much emphasis there was in the Avengers movie on Black Widow making all the men sandwiches.

Not much of a feminist, but not sure about the scene where it’s revealed it’s the Black Widow’s time of the month and she out-rages the Hulk.

Not much of a feminist, but I’m not sure about that scene in Avengers where the Black Widow is disabled by a math question.

Britain has elections? I thought they just had joust tournaments to pick a new king.

Going back to JavaScript and C#, Swift has convinced me that semicolons are annoying and unnecessary.

I mean in programming; in writing, I love semicolons!

Remember when forgetting a semicolon led to the most cryptic errors? Now IDE’s are like “You forgot a semicolon.”

But if the IDE’s know where semicolons should be, just proves they aren’t really necessary in the first place.

I think a good solution to the poll problems in the British election is to label all future polling with “For entertainment purposes only.”

My almost 2yo has started asking “Why?” when I tell him to do something. Hey, buddy, you don’t have enough a vocabulary for reasoning.

It’s like when I ask him a question and he pauses to think of the answer. How many file folders could he possibly have to search through?

He know like maybe 100 words. How inefficient would his search engine have to be to need to think about anything?

There a word yet for news sites that are “satirical” but no one ever links to them because they’re funny but only because they got duped?

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Random Thoughts: The Simpsons, Hillary, and Mocking Religion

Thursday, May 7, 2015 8:07 am

It’s safe to say humanity in general is a good thing. I mean, dog’s really like us, and how could they and their wagging tails be wrong?

Ever since he killed off Anya like that, I don’t care what bad things happen to Joss Whedon.

I might like robocalls from politicians if it sounded like an actual robot was calling me — like Soundwave from the Decepticons.

The left seem determined to root out any liberalism left in its ranks.

At this point, I’m unlikely to watch a new episode of The Simpsons until the finale, so I’m looking forward to that.

What I’m most looking forward to is my kids being old enough to watch the first ten seasons with them.

“Classic Itchy & Scratchy! …What else is on?” That was me about 20 season into The Simpsons.

You can draw Jesus all you want and no one will try to murder you. Draw Jesus today!

Is it still considered a vegan meal if you stole it from a herbivore you murdered?

Hipsters celebrate Cinco de Aioli.

I was going to make fun of everyone doing those overdone “Cinco de Mayo/Mayonnaise” jokes, but then I thought of a good one.

The great thing about Hillary Clinton as a presidential candidate is that everyone already knows not to trust her.

The more disappointed you are by the winning presidential candidate, the less you’ll be let down later.

We all agree everyone should have the freedom to mock Islam — or any other religion or belief system — and not be murdered? Right?

In the new Community eps, I’m really liking the character Frankie and how she doesn’t quite exist in the same universe as the show.

In a way, she’s like an Abed in that she sorts breaks the fourth wall, but she does it as outsider instead of insider. #Community

I guess I should read the Constitution. Is there a version illustrated with GIFs from Firefly?

I’m just waiting for the grittier, more realistic reboot of Grimace. Related: What the hell is Grimace?

As a wise man once told me: “Don’t worry what Grimace is. Just be glad he’s on our side.”

Can we at least all agree that getting worked up over a non-Muslim drawing Muhammad is really stupid?

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Random Thoughts: Avengers, Boxing, and Monarch Babies

Monday, May 4, 2015 8:34 am

I’m actually a bit surprised about how many people have been willing to listen to ten and a half hours of my writing.

Are Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders running for president of the United State or of Del Boca Vista?

Most gun ranges don’t let you practice firing 2 pistols while diving through the air because of “safety.” We are becoming culture of sissies.

The new Avengers movie doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t care how old Ultron is.

Gah! First negative review for Superego on Amazon. At least he implies I appeal to today’s youths.

I have to say, I’ve internalized the narrative enough that the photos of the indicted officers was a bit of a surprise.

Instead of learning not to be racist, it’s like we’re instead learning new ways to be racist.

We’re all expecting to be extremely disappointed by every DC movie being worked on, right?

Everyone is tired with the crap coming out of Washington DC. But they’re excited for what’s coming from Washington Marvel.

I wonder if in season 2 of Daredevil if they’ll do storyline where Matt Murdock can’t afford rent in the city and becomes the Jersey Devil.

So I hear there is a big boxing match tonight, or as its known in other countries, an American punch battle.

I love cheering on a boxing match.
“Punch!”
“Punch some more!”
“Even more punching!”
“Refs not looking – kick!”

Who cares who the fastest horse is? I bet I could still easily beat it in a race with my Hyundai.

The president has greeted the new royal baby with a formally issued death threat. Just an old American tradition with English monarchs.

I was supposed to somersault across the swamp? Spent hours trying to figure 1st level of The Last Ninja. That knowledge is 25 years too late.

New Joker is a great idea. Just tattoo characters with everything we need to know about them. Characterization eats up valuable screen time.

Defense of free speech is a microaggression.

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Random Thoughts: Rule of Law, State and Religion, and Fission

Thursday, April 30, 2015 8:24 am

For ending to Superego, some reviews have called it too abrupt while others point it out as one of the best parts.

Endings are hard. I can think of few things in fiction where I loved the ending. Mainly successful twist endings.

For movies, I think the best ending I’ve seen is for The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Perfect resolution for the three characters.

If some are able to injure and kill others without punishment, you don’t have the rule of law and that is not a happy place to be.

A little more rioting, and I’m sure we can sort this out to the benefit of all.

It’s really hard to take seriously any criticism of capitalism that’s instantly shared worldwide through the internet.

When we’re talking about abuse of government power, I think a guilty until proven innocent standard is best.

Where did the whole idea that marriage should involve a man and a woman come from anyway?

I’m just a bit skeptical the Founding Fathers hid gay marriage in the Constitution and we just didn’t find it until now.

You could remove marriage from government for being a religious institution, but redefining it is silly and shortsighted.

Of course, redefining marriage started with changes in divorce law. Lesson: Keep your church and state separate.

When the definition of marriage is up to the state, social engineering is inevitable. The point should be to avoid that.

The blind lawyer Batman show made me realize how good a regular Batman show could potentially be.

One with adult Batman. Not baby Batman like the show currently on FOX.

People, stop crashing on the highway. It really inconveniences me.

Was thinking it’s inevitable next president will inherit a growing economy because it has to rally some time, but starting to wonder.

Eh, we should stumble into some growth soon. At least for some states. Like Texas.

We’re possibly approaching a society where it’s considered worse to hurt someone’s feelings than to shoot him.

So what’s the PC term for people who gleefully commit random acts of destruction and violence?

Still baffled how Ben Affleck failed upward from Daredevil to Batman.

One of the secrets to good health is to use microaggressions to intimidate viruses and bacteria.

I once met a police officer and he seemed nice, so I don’t get what the problem is.

What did people do with opinions before the internet?

Gah! I just found out I referred to stars doing fission in Superego! How did no one catch that until now?

Well, it came up in a Rico monologue, so I guess we can say he made the mistake and not me.

Or I just have to live with the mistake and say he lives in some alternate universe where stars work by fission. I’ll expand that in sequel.

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Random Thoughts: Star Wars and Hillary

Monday, April 27, 2015 7:52 am

I have a special ring which shows I’m a member of the patriarchy. Or maybe it’s just my wedding ring.

The Republican who can beat Hillary is whichever one can successfully summon a Patronus.

Why are we acting like it’s bad Harry Reid was beaten up by the mob. Would we rather he was good friends with the mob?

How many more decades of this until we admit the War on Stars has failed?

His hair isn’t gray because Wookies live for centuries, people! How do you not know this? What do they teach in schools?

Is my novel better than Star Wars? Well, it’s at least better than the Star Wars novelizations. Of which I only read The Phantom Menace.

With these Star Wars sequels, will we finally get the answer about what ultimately happened to Jar Jar Binks?

Actually, I am legitimately curious in what happened to Naboo after everything. Maybe they used it for beta testing the Death Star.

“They elect teenage girls as queens? That’s stupid. Warm up the Death Star lasers.”

You think midichlorians are going to get mentioned in the new Star Wars movies, or are we all on board with pretending that never happened?

“The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. My sister has it. Anyone who bought midichorlian supplements at GNC has it.”

“I’m the good guy, Anakin. I’m the one who cares and can help save your wife. Now force choke this puppy to prove your loyalty.”
“Okay.”

Great, all this new Star Wars trailer is doing is reminding me how awful the prequels were.

Having watched the leaked trailer, I was surprised to find myself instantly siding with Ben Affleck Batman over that stuck up Superman.

We need some government PSAs about not taking video in portrait mode.

I’ll never forget where I was when Kennedy was shot: In the grassy knoll framing Lee Harvey Oswald.

The two things people despise the most these days are racism and white people.

Smart, self-driving vehicles used to be the most common mode of transportation, but people got tired of stepping in horse poop.

Wow. Five 12 hour days of shooting was pretty tiring. Can’t imagine what it’s like doing a feature. Well, one day…

My 4yo daughter had her first tee-ball game today. I lost count of the unforced errors.

Billy Joel is right: We didn’t start the fire. Other people did all that stuff in his song. This is all their fault.

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Random Thoughts: Hillary, Earnings, and Daredevil

Wednesday, April 15, 2015 7:59 am

Problem with Hillary is she’s just not very personable. Only time she shows genuine emotion is when threatening to swallow people’s souls.

“Do you want guac on that?”
“Let me ask my consultants.”
“Guac costs extra. Could make you look elitist.”

I am not going to rest until all of you read Superego. Because I am concerned for your happiness.

“Look at Hillary order from Chipotle! She thinks she’s people!”

“Hi. I’m Hillary, and I am just like you, single young females. You know as they say: You are what you soak in the blood of.”

Women, who tend to not work as many years in the workforce as men, earn less than men. Did anyone ask if they wanted to work more?

If you interpret the 78% statistic as women earning less for the same work, the reason you earn less is because you’re a gullible idiot.

So does Chef Gordon Ramsay ever make an appearance on Daredevil?

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