If you don’t want your political opponents to chant “Lock her up!” then don’t nominate a woman who in a just world would be locked up.
Both parties nominated really horrible people. Can we get past pretending one of them is smart to elect president?
My pledge to support the nominee is superseded by my pledge to make fun of obnoxious clowns.
The easiest way to get a modern man to act like a Nazi is to convince him his opponents are Nazis.
I hope the Trump speech is an epic mess. “I want to start by listing the things I think Hitler got right…”
The only way Trump will get my vote is if he uses his speech to announce plans to nuke the moon.
If you put a gun to my head and made me choose between Trump and Hillary, I’d do an aikido move to disarm you.
I hope Trump’s speech is an hour long infomercial for his new line of gloves made to fit odd-sized hands.
Weirdest part of Trump’s speech was how he spent 30 minutes on the time he though Chuck E. Cheese cheated him out of tickets at skee ball.
What idiot called it “Darth Vader’s trap to capture his son” and not a Luke Cage?
Babies don’t get really excited when they see another baby. It’s nothing like when a dog sees another dog.
Trump’s overly dark picture of America is just him being prescient since our next president is gong to be either Hillary or Trump.
Jon Stewart made fun of Trump? Game changer.
Trump has finally revealed the details of his crime reduction plan and it’s lot more ninja turtle-based than I was expecting.
Oh, I have a page on IMDB. I had no idea. Nothing big; just felt like I should have known.
Both Pence and Kaine are kind of boring picks. Trump needed boring more than Hillary.
Was going to finally watch Batman v Superman tonight, but that lost out to watching more episodes of Stranger Things.
Is there any reason Stranger Things is set in 1983 other than nostalgia factor (which is admittedly awesome)?
Why would Russia try to stop Hillary? Did something go terribly wrong when they hit that reset button?
What are supposed to be Hillary’s big accomplishments as SoS? All I know off hand are Benghazi and the reset button.
We have the most horribly corrupt person to ever run for president versus the plain most horrible.
My attitude on the Netflix price increase was it felt wrong only paying $8 a month for all that content.
Burn, political parties! BURN!
I’m still baffled why DWS wasn’t fired years ago.
We really need a James T. Kirk to figure us a way out of this Kobayashi Maru election.
“Abandon all your core principles and vote for me to stop the other guy.” -primary slogan for both Trump and Hillary
“What happens when two joke candidates with no chance of winning run against each other? Find out in the wacky comedy Election 2016!”
When you assassinate, you make two asses out of I and Nate.
Got this comedy idea where both the Republican and Democrat don’t want to be president and do everything they can to throw the election.
On what day of the DNC do they parade a chained and hobbled Bernie Sanders?
My big hopes for the DNC is that an actual brawl erupts in the audience during Hillary’s speech. Fingers crossed.
It will really break the glass ceiling when we one day have a woman president who didn’t get there by being married to a previous president.
In the real world, any woman who breaks a glass ceiling would be immediately fired.
They searched everyone entering the convention to make sure no progressive tried to sneak in a soul.
Bernie Sanders: “Our corporate overlords have defeated us. Forgive me, Wall Street, I was a fool to ever stand against you!”
I thought Bernie’s speech was going to be him yelling, “Freedom!” While Hillary disembowels him.
Never understood the Elizabeth Warren appeal. Seems like a dim bulb. Like someone who should be writing click bait for Salon.
I’m guessing there’s a lot of overlap in people who are enthusiastic for Warren and people who were gaga for John Edwards.
Kinda weird that Hillary’s acceptance speech will be said behind closed doors to Goldman Sachs board members, but Bernie vouches for her.
There’s no Notepad++ for Mac? Why do people like Macs?
The second night of the convention is my favorite because that’s when they traditionally have the puppet shows.
In the new DuckTales reboot, is Scrooge McDuck going to get a lecture on income inequality every time he swims in his money?
Looking at the current state of international affairs, I’d probably leave it off my resume if I were the previous Secretary of State.
Boy that was a surprise when Bill Clinton took the stage and found Chris Hansen waiting for him.
They’re trying to sell Hillary as an outsider? The world map on her office wall is just D.C. surrounded by water.
“If the most unlikeable woman in the entire country can become president, guess I can be a scientist or something.” -girl inspired by Hillary