We’ve heard of protestors killing themselves for their stupidity, one getting run over by a bulldozer and another falling off a bridge, but now here’s an example of blatant suicide by them: they’ve attacked Donald Rumsfeld’s home, trashing it’s grounds. Throwing oneself feet first into a woodchipper would be a less painful way of ending one’s life than pissing off Rumsfeld. It seems, though, that, as the protesters are being more and more forced to face how useless and idiotic they are, their actions will become more and more desperate. So what do we do with all these possibly dangerous idiots, or, at least, the ones that Rumsfeld doesn’t personally disembowel?
I say we have a plant start his own protest, billed to be the ultimate protest to end all protests (heh heh). Like a pied piper, he’ll whip them into a protesting frenzy, all of them shouting incoherent slogans until they forget all else. Then he’ll lead them to what’s supposed to be towards the Whitehouse, but, instead all the carefully placed “Protest March This Way” signs lead them off a cliff, plunging them all into the ocean like a bunch of lemmings, the cruel sea caring not for their cries of “No blood for oil!”
How will this affect the ocean life, you ask? Smelly hippies might pollute the water to some degree, but I never ate much fish anyway. Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.