First I had trouble with the French, and now I’ve gotten this e-mail in response to my Brief History of Canada (some editing was done because I felt like it):
Very interesting analysis of the history of Canada, eh. You forgot to mention the way in which your peacefull neighbour has devloped into a more humaine country that they overbearing lug next door (America).
What aboot the part where, Canada, creates free natioanl healthcare for its people while America, invades small south American countries ousting their democratically elected governments and installing dictorship regimes in the name of democracy, eh.
You forgot to mention how Canada devlopes its streets, makes sure that its people don’t live in disgusting ghetto’s and attempts to institutue a multiculturalism policy where all people can be maintain their culture, while its nieghbour to the south, forgets about its poverty stricken people lving on food stamps in bullet ridden houses, in favour of “saving” the poor deluded souls in the middle east who are not intelligent enough to govern themselves.
Canada is not a perfect country, but it is a hell of alot better than your heavy handed, gun wielding pathetic excuse for a nation, eh.
Kearie
Since someone took the time to write me such a long letter, I, of course, responded:
Thank you for your letter, Kearie. I meant no offense by my history, as I was unaware Canada had access to our American invented internet and thus thought no Canadian would have been able to read it and be offended. Anyway, I will keep this brief, as I’m sure your sessions on the internet must be short since moose keep chewing on your ethernet cables. I would just like to remind you of something I’m sure you are fully aware of: there are more of us Americans, we all have guns, and it’s a big open border between America and Canada. Thus logic dictates you be nice to us, as I’m sure your national healthcare has at least a two week wait to have a bullet wound treated.
Cordially,
Frank J.
Keep those letters coming. They’re great for writer’s block.
Just to let the Canadian commenter know, the people who live in our “disgusting ghettos” ie. American Blacks, are on the average quite a bit richer that the average Canadian. Socialism has worked so well in the north that the poorest segment of our society is richer than the Canadian average.
I love out northern brethren like a nagging sister-in-law. They are part of the family, and we have to put up with them…until the divorce.
I spent half my childhood here, the other half in Canada. I got to choose which country I wanted to live in as an adult. I chose the United States, hands down.
A good friend of mine, who lives in BC, recently lost her father to cancer. She took him to the doctor initially and she could not get him in to see a specialist for almot three months due to the waiting list. So, she ‘cheated’ and took him to the emergencey room so he could get treatment (he was in a great deal of pain). He was diagnosed with cancer in the emergencey room and died about 6 weeks later — before he would have even gotten in to see the specialist.
BC is a lot more socialised than other provinces, although here in Ontario the wait for MRIs is long. Still, a certain amount of government control is useful in a bigass sparsely-populated country like this one.
That being said, learn how to spell “humane” before you go bragging, eh? What aboot the Natives we keep on dilapidated reserves without running water, eh? And don’t a lot of Canadians keep a whole closet full of rifles and shotguns to shoot tasty or bothersome animals? I guess that makes us cruel gun-wielders too, eh?
Nice put-down! Well written – I liked that part about the bullet wound.
Truly, nothing in life pisses me off more then canada. The only thing that could compare are liberals and LilBowWow. Not really canadians, but more of the country of canada itself pisses me off. I posses the screen name ‘canuckhater85’ on yahoo! chat and I also have joined the ACL (Anti-Canada League).
Kudos to you Frank, for setting that stupid canadian (notice how I don’t capitalize the name) in her place, and making her realize that her ‘country’ (if you could call is that) is far inferior.
-Jeff
Funny how he talks about America’s poverty when America is one of the few AAA+ Rated national economies and Canada is a mere AA+ Rated economy.
America’s public debt is around 38%-45% of its gross domestic product while oh-so-wonderful Canada is at around 75% debt. Nice, you canadians really know how to build a sound economy, eh?
Amateur night… always entertaining but never much of a challenge.
Our inhumane ways developed cures for a plethora of cures and treatments that benefit mankind. Our inhumane ways nurtured Europe back to good health after we scraped out its gangrenous fascist AND communist legs (quite the metaphor). I personally find it amazing that NOT being socialist–a political system that has killed untold millions–automatically makes you a selfish bastard.
“developed cures for a plethora of cures and treatments that benefit mankind”
Erm, preview is my friend.
Frank, your response was perfect. The Internet points were remarkably funny.
Frank, my dear Secretary of War:
Kindly proceed to draw up plans for an invasion of Canada at your earliest opportunity. Now that the French have surrendered, the Girl Scout Troop that captured them should be available for deployment again and, to the best of my knowledge, we don’t really need more than that.
I’m Canadian and it still amazes me when my fellow countrymen bad-mouth our neigbours to the south.
They obviously don’t have a CLUE as to which side their bread is buttered on! Without the good ole USA, Canada wouldn’t have a pot to pee in.
I’m wishing for annexation and becoming the 52nd (?) state…..don’t know if the americans would want us though after all our rude, obnoxious sentiments about them!
I will say this: my favorite columnist is the Canadian Mark Steyn of the National Post. I will also say that he doesn’t much care for the present liberal Canadian government. And I will add that he lives in New Hampshire. Oh! I forgot, there’s another good thing about Canada (and, of course, it isn’t their geese, which crap all over our U. S. golf courses). That good thing is that I get my Lipitor from Canada at a tremendous savings. So, God bless Canada and that mountie, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, and God bless his great big dog, King. These two–particularly King–are the only ones with any balls who are currently capable of protecting Canada from whatever enemies there are who might actually want take over the place.
The Emperor directs his Girl Guide legion to finish with France and invade Canada… don’t forget the Girl Guide cookies!
A loyal citizen of Empire
“poverty stricken people (sic.) lving on food stamps in bullet ridden houses”
Isn’t that the main argument against the Welfare State? It would appear our good Canadian friend doesn’t know much aboot diminishing returns, eh eh?
The problem with Canada is that it’s too French. The people pulling the strings up here are all French supremacists. We need to clean them out.
worc, I loved Sgt Preston when I was a kid!
My great grandfather was a Northwest Mounted Police Officer and I think I imagined he was just like Sgt. Preston 🙂
Did she really write aboot?
It’s aboot respect! It’s aboot dignity!
Ummm Kearie dear … “You forgot to mention how Canada devlopes its streets, makes sure that its people don’t live in disgusting ghetto’s and attempts to institutue a multiculturalism policy where all people can be maintain their culture, while its nieghbour to the south, forgets about its poverty stricken people lving on food stamps in bullet ridden houses, …”
Right right … I forgot. Canada shelves all its poor people up north in the Indian reservations, sells them cheap liquor, forces them to give up their kids to Jesuits who then abuse them, and then basically sells them down the river by washing its hands of the whole thing.
It’s SO much tidier when you keep your disgusting ghettos, bullet-ridden houses, skyrocketing suicide rates and desintegrating infrastructure where no white people can see em, eh?
This person is likely just trolling. No one who lives in Canada and has a F**king clue says “eh!”
But let’s assume this goof is genuine.
I’ll state that I’m Canadian. And I am thoroughly sick and tired of listening to the so-called “moral superiority” of my own countrymen.
Canadians are whiners about US power, but are very happy to live under its security umbrella and the economic relationship that supports us.
Canadians are hypocritical. talking breathlessly about the UN, “soft power” and peacekeeping when we have no interest in Defence spending.
Canadians are vain, endlessly complaing about “how the US doesn’t pay any attention to us”. As if we have done anything recently worth
praising. (except maybe the efforts of overworked, and under appreciated Canadian Armed Forces in Afghanistan. Go Snipers! Go PPCLI!)
Canadians are self-centered, more occupied with “getting more health care dollars from Government”, than standing up and fighting (and possibly dying) to defend the principles we believe in (just as we did at Vimy Ridge, and in WW2).
America has principles to guide it, and the courage to do what must be done. America makes mistakes, but they don’t hide them. You acknowledge them, fix them and get better.
The only way to avoid criticism is do nothing. Sadly, that seems to be Canada’s position.
I’d be much more proud to call myself an American, than admit that I am Canadian.
So to my American Friends, my advice is to ignore Canada. Nice place to visit, but sadly it is now irrelevant. Move along. Nothing to see here.
Two last points:
Jean Chretien – Ignore him. The guy’s incomprehensible in both Official Languages
Invade Canada – With respect to the excellent Emperor Misha. Do you really want to add another 20 million Democratic voters to your rolls. No? Didn’t think so.
Now let’s get on with this War, and move on to more important things.
Like more Rumsfeld posts.
So nice of you to take that stick-up-your-ass attitude and presume to speak for “the rest of the world,” Kearie. Having delusions of grandeur, are we? Now kindly bugger off and find yourself another mate-for-the-evening. Just make sure to wear protection…the “rest of the world” certainly doesn’t need any more rats like you.
Well, I just read all the comments that have been posted. First of all, the person who said that people who live in American ghettos are richer than Canadians, you must be living under a rock, that is the most ignorant….yes ignorant statement I have ever heard.
Secondly, people accused me of being arrogant because I think Canada is a better place to live than the US, please…The fact that you all are making these anti-Canadian statements proves that not only are you blindly jumping on the American band wagon, but that you are just as ‘arrogant’.
And I am full aware of the injustices committed by Canadians. That is why I said that Canada is not a perfect country. So yes, we have created a system where Natives are kept on reserves, where they have the highest suicide rate and where, their children where taken away from them to be abused and demeaned at the hands of religious leaders. But, we have also tried, in all cases to make reparations to the Natives, who receive free education, university and the like, who don’t pay taxes (and why should they?), we have paid reparations to the Japanese Canadians who we stuck in internment Camps.
And yes, our health care system may not be perfect but at least we have one where EVERYONE has access to health care.
So no. Canada is not perfect. I am not arrogant. I am just saying that on the whole, Canada is a better more peaceful country in which to live.
Sure, we have guns, but our gun crime level is not nearly as high as the US (watch Bowling for Columbine).
And kooduls to Jean Chretien for not giving into the US and for standing his ground.
After all what have the Iraqi people ever done to any of us.
So Vive Le Canada!
Well, I’d say that having up to five times the murder rate in the US then Canada is a good indication that Canada is a much better place to live. But if you like dodging bullets then I guess any old American town is nice too.
lol f*** u americans for all u who dis us f*** u. some r ok but if they start making shit about us then im gona have too say somthing about that i would die for canada i would die for america so when u start talking shit about us thats just stupid
How old are you Kearie? Most of what you’ve written sounds like the pap I was fed through high school and university (here in Canada). Quite common for the liberal left to have this built-in anti American bias. My advice: get around a bit and travel through the US. Pretty nice folks and very similar to us. See it for yourself and ignore what you’ve read. I wouldn’t really want to share that 4,000 mile border with anyone else (maybe you’d prefer the Iraqis or god-forbid, the French). You may also want to tone down the nonsense about our medicare system. Very hypocritical of Canadians to brag and compare our system to the U.S. while we’ve had a free ride on their military protection. If we had pulled our weight with our own forces we may not have the funds for medicine. Without the U.S., you may have been writing your e-mail in Russian!!! As for you Yanks out there, a lot of us Canucks love ya…..
Ah, Canada. The land that Time, and deoderant, forgot.
hey levi can you elaborate on what the hell were you trying to say? How would you die for canada? do you mean you would wave a canadian flag while you watch war coverage at home?