What’s up with Russia? They’re selling military equipment to the enemy. It’s starting to look like they haven’t given up their evil, Commie ways; maybe we’ll have to finally have that war with Russia that Reagan always wanted. Man, if there’s anything I’ve learned since 9/11, it’s that most other nations than America are jerks and should have their asses kicked. I don’t even think Russia ranks next on the list of nations to bitch-slap anyway. What was that list again… eh, it’s probably just easier to list nations not to bomb. U.K. has been cool, as so has Australia… and Israel has never hurt anyone – I care about, that is. All other nations are on warning, as it’s time for some major changes in this world if we Americans want to remain safe and unannoyed.
My one big request is that when we finally come to our sense and have war with France, we don’t even tell them why. Just, without notice, start bombing them one day.
They’ll be like, “Please, Americans! Just tell us what to do so you’ll stop attacking us!”
And we’ll be like, “I dunno. Just start doing stuff and we’ll stop bombing you when we’re happy.” (we won’t stop bombing them).
Actually, maybe that could be like a holiday, Bomb France Day… except we’ll change when it is every year to keep them on their toes.
I have been praying for this day for a while, hopefully we can send a remote controlled aircraft into the Eiffel Tower. I would love to watch them cry before we bomb the shit out of them.
Denmark. Denmark goes on the Do Not Bomb list. They sent over a sub, are planning to add a corvette and tossed in some cash for the Iraqi rebuilding.
Besides, they told the Nazis to go f*ck themselves about the Jews and they made it stick… while said Nazis had a gun to their heads. You gotta respect that.
Moe
Yeah, the Danes can stay, they kick ass. Maybe the Dutch, but only if they promise to shut up and be our bitch.
And the Dutch have GOT to stop producing that vile piss they call “beer”. Or at least stop selling it to anybody except people we hate.
Polish are being pretty cool, they even have special ops in Iraq. And lets not forget Japan, they are deploying AEGIS cruisers near N. Korea and supporting us.
Let’s JUST DO IT!
Hawspipe is back – http://hawspipe.blogspot.com/. He has a great quote from Bush 41 (from a Newsweek article)
What do you think is going on with France?
[Pause] They’re French.
Any elaboration?
Nope.
my god i hope you were being sarcastic. i stumbled across this page while doing some research..
even the comments.. wow this is like a springboard for ignorance.
“Man, if there’s anything I’ve learned since 9/11, it’s that most other nations than America are jerks and should have their asses kicked.”
might wanna watch something other than foxnews for your daily dose.. it’ll open your eyes.
Joe, I know you Lefties had your humor glands removed in honor of Political Correctness … so you obviously do not know the meaning of satire.
So here’s a definition: This page is ALL about satire.
I think Tuesday is Clueless Leftist Day. I’m even getting them on my blog.
“…most other nations than America are jerks and should have their asses kicked.”
( to think otherwise would be Un-American 🙂
[pout] I never get any Clueless Leftists over at my site. You guys have all the luck.
And damnit, I NEED the target practice.
Joe, Joe, Joe. Tsk, tsk, tsk. My friend, it’s really quite simple-read the ‘About Me’ section.
Frank, I want to bomb France like any red-blodded American female would, but I get especially tingly all over when I imagine kicking some Canadian ass. Teach them to disrespect my National anthem. Patooey
Joe, I was mostly kidding.
Bonnie,
As you surely know, Canadians are the women and children of our great, North American Land Mass. They lack any form of testosterone and fear conflict, hence the knee-jerk disrespect of those brutes to the south that allow them to sleep soundly in their protected Canadian beds.
Let’s not be too harsh with our neighbors, though. The U.S. needs a place to keep our cowardly, neutered pacifists and socialists. We don’t want them to continue living amongst us, do we?!?
Can we throw Luxembourg a beating too? F***ing Luxembourg.
joe:
1) Learn to spell. No one will take you seriously if you type like a 3rd grader. Not that we’d take anyone who is so obviously lacking in a sense of humour seriously anyway, but at least the pain of people making fun of your idiotic mistakes wouldn’t hurt as much.
2) You might want to try watching FoxNews for once instead of the usual propaganda channels. (Hint: Iraqi TV isn’t telling the truth) Let’s not kid ourselves here…we know you’ve never watched it, kiddie.
3) Put brain in gear prior to posting. You look like a reactionary candyass otherwise.
Anyway, we can’t bomb Japan. They make too much cool stuff, and their “Fire a missile over us and we will wail on your sorry ass” stance towards North Korea is to our benefit.
Don’t bomb Canada, only the French in Canada. If you dealt with them (and assassinated our liberal government, maybe send Rumsfeld in for a session of our parliament… I’m sure the session would end with the NDP and Liberals all mysteriously strangled), you’d find the rest of Canada very amenable to suggestion. Plus, if you bomb anybody important, my unit might be called up, and I don’t wanna die.
You could use the shelled-out crater that is Quebec to send all your socialists and draft-dodgers if you want!
What’s your major problem with the French & Russians selling dangerous goods to Iraq? That it uses different voltage to the stuff the USA sold them, or just the commercial competition?
Hey Sean. F***head. Over here, bitch.
The U.S. has sold about $50 million worth of crap to Iraq since ’91, most of it harmless stuff such as traffic helicopters.
France and Russia have sold over $1 BILLION each to Iraq since ’91, most of not-harmless stuff like nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons components.
Suck a f***ing cock, cumnozzle.
Hey, the only Canadian who really matters, The Great One (Gretzky for none hockey fans) has come out in support of Bush and the U.S. action.
There’s that much vaunted right wing sense of humour eh Eichra? And don’t ask me for oral, I’m straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with your life choice, you virtual tough guy, you.
Ah! More trolls!
less war and more sex
I wonder if you could put Zimbabwe on your bombing list……especially Bob Mugabe’s house…..he’s causing huge shite her in South Africa as well…..our currency is up to shite.
Is being American actually all about using your bombs instead of your brains. At present it seems like it. Do you honestly thing that God blesses countries that move from one war to the next. I hardly can believe that.
It is so easy just to condemn and blame everybody but yourself. I think what you have to understand is, that the whole world is doing its best to understand the “new” US (after 9/11), although, as you prove, their inhabitants have hardly undertaken any effort to understand the rest of the world. You should ask yourself why it is that Anti-Americanism is rising. Is it because the rest of the world consists of ignorant people or is it because throwing bombs each and everywhere and not respecting other people’s view (respectively seeing them as emperor Bush’s humble subjects)is not a very good way of gaining popularity.
Why do I think that I know what kind of answer I will receive? It’s so predictable.
We’ll have to prove him wrong and say something unpredictable.
Monkeypop!
Bombing in itself is not being American, however being a victim is not very American either… We all had our security breached 9/11 and I think most Americans now see that our inaction in the face of earlier events helped allow this to happen.
For a while, anyway, we are not prepared to have that happen again. We are THE superpower in the world today. We are also THE target, for radicals, and dictators who want to be the dominant power on the planet. Pro-active action, such as we are taking in Iraq, allows us to shape the future of the world rather than just reacting to it. When a nation proclaims the US its enemy, then how can it be wrong for us to treat that nation as an enemy?
Providing freedom to people who think they could never have it is the most American thing I can think of!
Sure signs of a stupid, Socialist liberal:
1. No sense of humor.
2. No moral compass.
3. Fervent desire to be a victim.
4. No sense of history.
5. Amazing ability to swallow and regurgitate huge amounts of Bolshicrat/Socialist propogandized tripe.
Seems Frank’s trolls definitely meet the criteria.
Bomb the shit out of France.
It’s the European version of Afghanistan with Chiraq playing the role of Mullah Omar.
The French are hypocritical cocksmacks.
Hey Joe, I ain’t kiddin’.
Cocksmacks!? You’re too kind. It occurred to me today that Helen Thomas is not embedded with a foreward unit. Hmmm. . .
A gutless monkey-like troll who didn’t bother to post his name (or even a pseudonym) wrote:
“Is being American actually all about using your bombs instead of your brains.”
No, it’s all about using our brains to build better, more powerful bombs, like the ones we’re using right now. And then using them on terrorists and tyrants, and pretty much everyone else who pisses us off. And then building even COOLER bombs. And, face facts, we build the best.
“At present it seems like it. Do you honestly thing that God blesses countries that move from one war to the next. I hardly can believe that.”
Heh. Another example of a leftist who’s had his sense of humor surgically removed. Whassamatta? Frank’s just using his FREEDOM OF SPEECH. He’s DISSENTING from the loonies on the left. So are we.
(There. I’ve used the appropriate buzzwords that render lefties immune from the consequences of their speech. Now no one can criticise anything we say here.)
“It is so easy just to condemn and blame everybody but yourself.”
And it’s fun, too.
“I think what you have to understand is, that the whole world is doing its best to understand the “new” US (after 9/11),”
We don’t want their “understanding.” We either want them on our side, on the sidelines, or in our gunsights. This is a war. It’s about time you understood that.
“although, as you prove, their inhabitants have hardly undertaken any effort to understand the rest of the world.”
Aside from the countries standing with us, f*** the rest of the world. Harsh? Too bad. After 9/11, I predicted that most of the “understanding” we’d get was about an inch deep, and that shortly thereafter every single move we made in this war would be second guessed by countries with no will to fight. Damn, was I ever right, and I’m not exactly Nostradamus…
The “rest of the world” is perfectly willing to let Saddam Hussein do whatever the hell he pleases so long as their countries don’t suffer. The “rest of the world” was willing to let Saddam defecate over every UN resolution that was passed. I no longer care what they think. The ones that matter are on our side. The rest have chosen Saddam’s.
“You should ask yourself why it is that Anti-Americanism is rising. Is it because the rest of the world consists of ignorant people”
Yes. Ignorant.
“or is it because throwing bombs each and everywhere and not respecting other people’s view (respectively seeing them as emperor Bush’s humble subjects)is not a very good way of gaining popularity.”
“Popularity?”
POPULARITY?!?!? Do you think THAT is what this is about? Is President Bush supposed to make decisions on what is best for the USA based on whether or not it’s popular? What is he, a high-school cheerleader?
You keep tossing the term “rest of the world” around like everyone else on the planet agrees with you and loathes America. They don’t. We’ve plenty of allies on our side, and plenty of people agree with what we’re doing. The rest can suck anthrax. Which they might very well end up doing if we don’t succeed.
“Why do I think that I know what kind of answer I will receive? It’s so predictable.”
Yes, we meanies aren’t going to lock-step agree with your view, so we’re predictable. Oh drat.
Well, it’s been fun. You certainly picked the wrong blog to whine in. So why don’t you go scamper off and play with your friends. The grownups need some time to talk.
No Evil, he was a Harvard cheerleader.
Wow otto, you typed fast. I didn’t read it all but I bet it waS funny!
OTTO!! Loaded for BEAR!!! Bravo, bro’!
I just wanted to thank you for those nice and long comments on my entry about “Americans, bombs and brains”. I didn’t have to read much of it to find out what I wanted to know.
No, I don’t suffer from a serious lack of humour, I just happen to have a different taste. But I don’t want to waste too much time with writing comments on people and believes that are not worth a comment.
Tschuess
Ohhh….
You’re problem is that you’re German.
Tell you friends in Deutschland that when the U.S. closes our NATO bases in Europe you may invade France at will.
I have lived in your Muslim infested sty of a country and have an appreciation for the depth of loathing you feel towards a country like mine. Know this: it is mutual.
All you surly Eurotrash whiners really have left is your history (and that must really suck). We have had enough of your misdirected self-loathing. Go f*** yourselves. We want to close our bases and leave you to pay for your own defense as much as you want us out of your filthy little Kraut-Casbah.
Deutschland has real problems. Your country and France are the expansion zones into which the Muslim locusts are moving. Have fun! You deserve each other, you f***wit.
Take Bulgaria off the list too — they’re sending chemical decontamination troops. Probably not assault troops, but I think it’s important to applaud anyone whose job involves running towards things I would run away from.
And certainly, keep Japan off. Japan’s first foreign naval deployments since 1945 were in support of the Afghanistan operation, and the Prime Minister is making it very clear he regards the United States as Japan’s most important friend. Also, they launched spy satellites yesterday when it was clear this would get North Korea’s knickers in a twist. Finally, they produce most of the world’s schoolgirl tentacle bondage porn.
Congratulations to me. I think I have found the first person on this site who actually understands a German word. Unfortunately, it is not the kind of person I would like to talk a single word of German to, apart from “Tschuess” at the airport just after arriving, because generally Germany is a very hospitable country, but how can anybody be patient enough to deal with someone who has such a narrow view of the world around them and whose attitude while travelling is to find out, how many things are worse than in their own country. Those people should rather stay at home and restlessly praise themselves and their country, because I am more than confident that other countries will be able to do without their visits. At present I am working at a Language Assistant in the UK. This demands both, seeing your own country from a very different point of you (i.e. for instance not ignoring its weaknesses and admitting them)and appreciating aspects of the other’s culture. At least their must be some interest in the other’s culture. Otherwise it would be a complete waste of time. I don’t claim perfection for my country and those who do cannot be considered trustworthy.
Furthermore, I am more than surprised about that kind of comment on muslims. Especially as it comes from someone whose country likes to refer to itself as “the melting pot”. I think what is rather melting is the idea of “freedom of belief and freedom of speech” and therefore some of democracy’s essentials.
Well, let me confirm that the vast majority of Germany’s population manages to live together with people of different believes and origins very well. I think you meant terrorists, didn’t you? (by the way, some people would say, that this was quite a significant mistake…).
Moreover, I cannot see the link between withdrawal of US NATO-bases and terrorist attacks in Germany. You should know best that there is no real protection against the latter. And its a very childish thing to threaten to withdraw NATO-bases. It is almost like: “If you don’t do what I said, I take all my toys and will never play with you again!” You can be glad to have those bases, particularly during the present war, but I do not want to go into detail. You should know why. And if your country wishes to give up their bases in Germany, what will suffer the most will be personal friendships which have developed between American soldiers and many German people.
On the other side some Germans might celebrate the end of occupation or not care too much because there are more important things to worry about.
Finally I want to make very clear that I am refering to the Federal Republic of Germany founded in 1949. I don’t think that we will attack France or any other country on Earth in the future. That is your part now.
I don’t think that the Germans can go 100 years without trying to take over the world….
Time will tell!
My Dear Geist:
I arrived in Germany wide eyed and innocent, wanting very much to embrace, and be embraced by German Kultur. I attended a nice Spracheninstitut to get a translator certificate so I could bridge the gap of understanding between our two, noble countries. Then, I was spat on by your tolerant, hospitable German youth because I was an “occupier” American – and not, by the way, an obnoxious, McDonald’s eating, gum chewing, Nike-wearing-oaf-Yankee. I tried to be polite and blend in. I tried hard. Germans, I’m sure you are aware, hate Americans.
That’s German tolerance.
As for the dream of the “American melting pot”: One should not throw crappy cheese in a fondu – lest you get crap-fondu.
The melting pot only works when the ingredients want to embrace American ideals (melt) and NOT JUST INFILTRATE AND EXPLOIT . Its time to carefully screen our cheese (the way other smart nations do) and pull the plug on the crap-fondu pot.
I do sincerely appologize for lumping Muslims together as one evil hoard in the manner Germans lump Americans. I’m sure there are nice Muslims out there. The ones to which I meant to refer are the Islamo-fascists who wish western civilization to fall. I hope you can appreciate my apprehension at embracing these types in the name of “tolerance”.
As to your point that closing a NATO base was childish punishment – I think you misunderstood. I was referring simply to the future bill Germany will have to pay to raise an old-fashioned standing army of respectable size and strength once NATO bases close. Other emerging countries seem to more closely embrace U.S. values. We can look forward to a future of cooperation with them, I think. Germany will say goodbye to its “occupiers” and everyone will be happy. How is this a punishment or retribution?
And yes, thank you for pointing out, the U.S. is very aware that terrorism is the real threat and this can only be fought with prevention (what the U.S. is doing in its Iraq mop-up right now). Lots and lots of aggressive prevention.
Germany and France will eventually benefit from the U.S. effort in Iraq against terror. You don’t have to thank us. We know that deep, deep, down, you have better things to do.
A bright note about Germany: It is not France.
Dear BridgetMic,
I just read your last comment and have to say that this one is a far better basis for discussion. I am very sorry that you met those very strange people in Germany. I can only speak for myself and my idea of dealing with guests is to be as polite and supportive as possible. But this is the same in any country. I mean what do you think how it feels when you are a German (born in the 1970s) being somewhere abroad and experience that your country is only known for Sauerkraut, sausages and Blitzkrieg. I don’t mind to talk about history but what should be clear is the fact, that my knowledge about the 3rd Reich is based on History lessons in school, just as the knowledge of any pupil around the world. Unfortunately, I sometimes get the impression that they assume must know AH in person, because I am German and that they should not mention World War I and II because we lost them. The truth is that I am very glad that we lost them, because I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if not…
Entschuldigen Sie und danke.
Now that saddam has been toppled. it looks like old faithful France troops are ready to be deployed to Iraq.
I speak for all when I say “thanks France”. You are truly a nation of brave souls.
How do you say scavenger in french?
Now that saddam has been toppled. it looks like old faithful France troops are ready to be deployed to Iraq.
I speak for all when I say “thanks France”. You are truly a nation of brave souls.
How do you say scavenger in french?
Now that saddam has been toppled. it looks like old faithful France troops are ready to be deployed to Iraq.
I speak for all when I say “thanks France”. You are truly a nation of brave souls.
How do you say scavenger in french?
Now that saddam has been toppled. it looks like old faithful France troops are ready to be deployed to Iraq.
I speak for all when I say “thanks France”. You are truly a nation of brave souls.
How do you say scavenger in french?
Now that saddam has been toppled. it looks like old faithful France troops are ready to be deployed to Iraq.
I speak for all when I say “thanks France”. You are truly a nation of brave souls.
How do you say scavenger in french?
well to me your all a bunch of mental americans, i think you all need psychiatric help. never in my life before have i ever seen such a big piece of BULLSHIT in one place. do you know why everyone HATES america? hmmm? well its because of stuff like what you have written here. i cant wait until you all piss off an exceptionally powerful country and they blow the shit out of you
WHAT “incredibly powerful country” is this? Canada? No…you guys wouldn’t hurt a fly, that might offend someone. Any European country? No…they can sit and spin for all we care.
We, the United States of America is the only real superpower any more. Coincedence? I think not.
Bomb France? It’s already been done in 1944. Many more frogs killed than Germans. Want any pictures ?
Dear BridgetMic,
I don’t know, if you still read through your old comments from time to time. If you do, I would like to say, how much I appreciated those two words of German you posted. Thank you very much! It was quite a challenge to find somebody who was prepared to discuss. I expected harsh critizism, of course, and was ready to read lots of swear words, but there was still the hope to find someone who wouldn’t mind to discuss this issue a bit more seriously, although I knew that this site is mainly about satire.
I hope that the relationship between our countries will improve in future. It certanily will take a lot of time, but there will be other chancellors and presidents which will hopefully reinstall a more friendly relationship. I am optimistic, especially as I am traning to become an English teacher and thus would like to visit America one day without being asked what some Mr. Schroeder did (I didn’t even vote for him although I didn’t like the idea of war).
Finally, I have one more question. When have you been to Germany? I ask this, as I still cannot see
how you got the impression that Germany, in general, hates America and sees it as occupiers.
Anyway, I can assure you that the majority doesn’t think like that today (I cannot speak for the far left-wings, however) , even after the war in Iraq.
What we all have to learn is to distinguish a bit more between the state (the administration) and the individual (the people). When it comes to domstic issues (taxes etc.) we are far more reluctant to believe everything what our government says than when foreign issues are on the agenda. Isn’t that strange? But what do we actually know about places that are so far away?
Hello gentlemen ! :o))
So… I introduce me first… my REAL NAME… is AURELIEN ROULLAND ! ( Just to say I don’t want to be hided behind a nickname ! )
My e-mail is : aurelien@newyork.com
Please, make my day ! :o))
Now it’s my turn to tell you how much I hate you… ooops ! Sorry… yall ( ’cause I hate more people from Texas than the ones of Chicago ! :o)))
So… I hate you ’cause you didn’t vote Jim Henson to be president ! Now he’s dead ! I feel so sad with Miss Piggy ! ( I’m the frog ! Remember ? :o)))
I hate you ’cause you made my grand’ pa’ cryin’ when Walt Disney died and now you say we hate Disney ! I hate you ’cause you keep Joan Baez for yourself ! Mmmm… wait a minut… just a personal message by the way…. JOAN ! if you ear me : JE T’AIME !!! ( she’s fluent in french ! :o))
I HATE YOU ’cause don’t sell Big Red gum ( you know, the big ones with cinamon flavour ? ) throughout Europe and keep it to you in America !!! EGOIST PEOPLE !!! :o)))
I hate you for a lot of reason like that…. and if you think that my reasons to hate you are stupid, just let me tell you that they’re not more stupid than yours to hate me !!!
I hated you before you hate me ! But my love was stronger ! :o((
So… Do like me, switch of the T.V ! ;o))
VIVE L’AMERIQUE !
VIVE LA FRANCE !
VIVE L’IRAK !
VIVE L’IRELAND BEFORE ALL THE COUNTRIES IN THE ALL WORLD, WHERE ALL THE TV ARE SWITCHED OFF AND EVERY BODY IN THE PUB DRINKIN’ TOGETHER !!!
AND F*** OFF TF1 ( the french CNN ) and the Jerry Springer Show ! I know now… and I believe that America is somethin’ else that you guy ! America is like France ! One big pure heart with dirty blood !!!
I LOVE AMERICA !!
Like in the song : ” Amazing grace ! I was lost… but now I’m found !!! ”
VIVE LA PAIX !
FAITES L’AMOUR ! PAS LA GUERRE !
( Make love not war ! )
AURELIEN ROULLAND. 28 YEARS OLD. 100 % french ! 200 % american lover ! :op EVEN IF THAT BOTHER YOU !!! :o)))
P.S : the american women who think I’m gay can try me !!! ;o))
P.S.S : The american men think I stick… my father sells soaps of Alep ! I can send ’em some for 5 Ä ! :o)))
well said Aurellien, je suis tout à fait d’accord.
It is never a mistake to say good-bye.
I think its so cute that countries other than the USA think that what they say or do matters. We’re always going to do whatever the hell we want, because we can kick everyone’s ass on this planet combined.
France, Germany, Russia, and everyone else can bitch all they want, and let them. Because we’re going to continue to do what we want. Talk is cheap, eurotrash. If you don’t like how we roll against terrorism and despotism, then invade us and see what happens.
Thats the bottom line
Make Every Day Bomb France Day
I wish so very much
Im a russian born hottie from Affaghanistanley parents, my parents emigrated here 30 years ago, they always did have great savvy on where to live, I was thinking tho, of packin up my pup tent and moving somewhere in the world, but the yanks are invading everywhere so thats something to think on, and i dont wanna be living in one of the countries that are on ur TO BE BOMBED LIST
is Luxembourg anywhere near Botswana? if so then Botswanas off my list, how bout the canary islands where are they i could settle down nicely their with a Canariarian? or whatever they call em, anyway, can someone post the places that are safe, ive a very seriass decision to make and i dont wanna get my ass blown to rat shit cause i made the wrong choice
thank you very kindly
Svet