In my final part of my series, I’m going to talk about gun care. You need to care about your gun so it can care about you. Your gun’s ability to shoot bad people could save you one day, and thus you need to treat it with respect. Nothing is worse than when you want to kill someone you miss or your gun malfunctions.
First off, you need to keep training with your guns. That means going to a gun range. There are lots of rules to follow at a gun range, and, though you’re probably thinking, “Hey – I have a gun – I don’t need to follow any rules!” remember that there are lots of other people at the gun ranges with firearms too. There are outdoor ranges where everyone needs to stop, lay down their weapon, and then go out on the range and set up targets. That’s annoying and takes time. I like indoor ranges where you just use some mechanical thing to bring your target towards you and away from you and then fill it with holes.
You need to practice until you have a good grouping of your shots. This makes it more likely that, if someone attacks you, you will make him dead. Also, a paper target where are all the shots are placed neatly in the center makes a great decoration to hang on your office door, especially if you write on the target the word “You.” You’ll find much less people will bother you if you do that.
While shooting and training with your gun is essential, also as important is to clean your gun after every time you fire, whether you spent a while at the range or just shot some punk on the way to the store to pick up some milk. Gunpowder residue will build up in your gun, and you want to remove it to keep proper functioning. This means cleaning out the barrel, all the working parts, and oiling everything to keep your gun protected from the elements.
To clean a gun properly, you need to “strip” the gun, removing the barrel so you can clean it from the inside out. Many guns have different ways to disassemble them, so it’s a good idea no to toss out those instruction booklets even though you probably thought, “Bah! I don’t need no stink’n instructions to tell me how to pull a trigger.” The problem with disassembling a gun is that, if someone is lurking in the shadows waiting to attack you, when your gun is apart is the perfect time for him to strike. In my favorite movie, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Clint Eastwood is cleaning is gun when he realizes enemies are approaching, so he has to quickly assemble and load it before they attack. You’re not the man with no name, so you don’t want to be in that situation. Instead, when cleaning one gun, keep another gun loaded and in ready access. When done cleaning the first gun, put it back together, load it, and then clean the second. It’s just common sense.
If you ever experience problems with your guns, you may need to use different ammo or have the gun checked out by an experienced gunsmith. To keep you guns in kill’n form takes your vigilance, and, with proper care, you’ll have many years of firearm fun and dead bad people.
Well, that concludes my primer on guns. If there are other topics people want me to cover, put them in the comments. Also, always follow the rules of gun safety, and always fight to make sure laws allow you to have access to lethal force to defend yourself, your family, and your stereo.
Remember, no problem is so complex that it can’t be solved by proper firearm usage.
Genius…pure genius.
Too funny. I already have two targets hanging on my office door. One is a 1 3/4″ group shot with a .44 Mag. The other is the same size group shot rapid fire (10 shots in 10 seconds) with a target .22.
What a geek I am. BTW, there are a lot of gun guys at NASA. You are quite popular here.
Thanks Frank.
MensaMan
Sorry to argue with the Leader of The Great Blogger Alliance but some problems are too complex for firepower. Those problems need high explosives.
I’m afraid Peter’s got you there, Frank!
I have a compromise for this prediciment, a grenade launcher or attachment for a shotgun/assult rifle. This combines a gun and explosives.
Anything that require more then a few grenades needs to be struck by a Minuteman nuclear missle, or carpet bombed by B-52’s.
I was on the phone with computer tech support when I read: “Remember, no problem is so complex that it can’t be solved by proper firearm usage.”
grin
You guys have guns?!!!
The crap is this world coming to…?
Ok fine i realize that at times burglars can become a threat, but hey!!
Having those things are scary.
I bet none of us “normal citizens” (not cops or feds or the CIA) really ever got into a situation where it wwas needed. Somebody prove me wrong!!
I saw you in the “counter convention” attendees list. Is that you, or just someone slapping your name up?
I’d personally like to see another part in this series, preferably on gun accessories. Something about various sights (such as ghost rings and tritium sights (which, I might add, are radioactive)), tactical lights, laser sights, and whatever other fun modifications can be made to handguns to make them more efficient kil- errr– target shooting machines.
Also, possibly something on what is the best way to deal with the soon-to-come terminator-type killer robots and their zombie-monkey overlords.
Frank–
I esp. liked the part on having a gun ready-to-go while cleaning the other. Gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know I’ve been doing it right for years!
ash t– the problem is that you can’t predict when some goblin is going to come for you. Maybe they’ve been watching you or your place for days/weeks/months. If you’re convinced it’ll never happen, then I hope for you it won’t. But, don’t get in the way of the rest of us who know too well the stories and the consequences. Yes, we have guns. Esp. since 9/11/01. And, don’t kid yourself that was some kind of “fluke” incident. An isolated occurrence. With nearly 3K people killed within 2 hrs, I wonder why you aren’t discussing what kind of firepower YOU bought since that date. Some day, there may not be any of us, cops included, around to cover your ass. Try to think of that day NOW, and not “when it comes, if it ever comes.”
Yo, hey, Elliot! You want a scenario where “normal” people need guns? Imagine hiring garden variety felon-come-contractors to build you a home. Then imagine that they abandon the job and you have to take them to court to resolve the matter. Then imagine that they commit tens of thousands of dollars in vandalism to the work-in-progress and threaten you and your family.
Me, I like a nice big twelve-gauge with a short barrel for maximum dispersion at close range. The stopping (read “killing”) power is all but unequalled unless you go the grenade-launcher route described earlier (but then technically that may not be legal–consult your local codes). With the body mass on these contractor types, handgun users better hope they group all their shots between the perp’s eyes, or they’re just gonna make the bad guys angry.
–Yours in satisfied firearm ownership,
Roominator
Another example about normal people needing guns (and this was taken from the police log of the local newspaper). A satellite tv installer refused to take his shoes off when he came inside(lady didn’t want him messing up the carpet) so the lady of the house got her 9 mm and ordered him out of the house. He then pulled HIS gun on the lady, and they had a little stand off.
While the police thought maybe she went a little too far, I think he’s damn lucky she didn’t want blood on her new carpet. Maybe I’ll get to be on the jury if it goes to court (“yer honor, we find the defendant not guilty and think she shoulda killed that sumbitch for trackin’ in dirt on her carpet after she told him not to”).
Yeah,I’m from north Florida. Wipe yer feet before you come in now, heah? My carpet ain’t that new.
I live in Southern California, and we have concerns in addition to potential terrorism. I bought my gun after the Rodney King riots. The rioting was not just limited to South Central; there were pockets of violence throughout Southern California. One of those “pockets” was less than three miles from my house. When buildings are being looted and burned that close to where I live, that’s when I decided to buy some protection.
Why is it that nobody ever says “What kind of wacko would ever buy a tornado shelter? Do you know what the odds of being caught in a tornado are?” It’s the exact same situation. You carry a gun so because somebody has to make up those crime statistics, and you’d rather it weren’t you.
What normal person needs a gun?
Okay, I’ll bite.
I lived out in the country near Rockford, Illinois. I went to college part-time and worked full-time. At exam time, I took off a couple of days to study.
I’m alone in the house, in broad daylight, studying away (accounting, for whatever it’s worth). A van pulls into the drive and three Hispanic guys get out and book to the back of my house. They had apparently cased it and “knew” nobody was home during the day.
At which point I, Mr. Geek Student, but also an ex-police officer and ex-paratrooper, loaded up Mr. Winchester with some 12-gauge triple-ought buck.
I went to the picture window in the living room (back of the house) and just stood there, shotgun on my hip. Taco Eater #1 was screwing around with the back door. Taco Eaters #2 and #3 decided to try the window. They peeked in and saw me.
Result? A trail of used frijoles from the back of my house to the van.
Would I have used the gun if they had gotten in? If I had to, absolutely.
What would have happened if I hadn’t had the gun? Well, at that time the Winnebago County Sheriff’s Office had two patrol cars on the road at any one time to cover the whole county. The police weren’t going to get there. Surprising them and showing I was home? Might have worked. Might also have landed me in the morgue.
I don’t know if alternative measures MIGHT (or might not) have worked, but I know that the measure I chose DID work.
I’m not a gun nut. I have one gun now, bought after 9-11, a .45 H&K USP. Why do I have heat? Because I needed it once. That means I can need it again.
As a side note, I now live in Kennesaw, Georgia, which requires all heads of households to have a firearm. But that isn’t the reason I have heat.
U pussies i went off on u and u took myy comments off
Frank, SERIOUS GUN MAINTENANCE needed….
I own 2 .22 bolt action plinkers, both in the bedroom, both with magazine loaded but bolt not engaged…what is the best advice to a> keep them free of simians, and b> keep dust out of the barrel so as to fire at a moments notice? ( I’ve noticed that my ‘Nuke the moon ” shirt covers then well, but I like to wear it too often…any other advice to keep dust out of the mechanisms?
Safety first, always….
Paul.
as for the previous post
I am what I eat…
Great info about keeping your guns in good shape. My Harley shines and so do my guns. Although my house looks like a biker that loves guns lives there…Only a few small holes in the floor from shooting mice with the .22. Guess I should get a pellet gun or a cat…
Proud member of the ’72 Virgins Dating Service’
We’ll hook you up and express delivery available.
How about a LAW or Dragon for Michael Moore? Boyes Rifle? Lahti? Hotchkiss Bateau?
Francis,
Once again, you misheard me. I never taught you to “train with your guns” at the range. I told you to “train your guns” and “get out of the rain”. There’s a world of difference here. You were always a little lost. I never required you to measure up to your brother or sister; you were never one to handle stress well. But that doesn’t mean your not “special” in every sense of the word.
Get the pototoes out of your ears.
Love,
Mom
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