…except it’s over here. No Links of the Day™ today; everyone (not just Alliance members) check this out and tell me it’s a good idea. If you write a blog or read a blog, maybe you can help fight an important front of our war on terror.

TOP TEN WESLEY CLARK CAMPAIGN SLOGANS
10. I’m a general and a Democrat… isn’t that wacky!
9. My day-to-day views on the war on Iraq are like a box of chocolates – you’ll never know what you’re going to get.
8. You don’t know me, but I don’t know you, so we’re even.
7. Pay no attention to the Clintons behind the curtain.
6. I admit it; Arnold Schwarzenegger bribed me to run to make him look decisive on issues.
5. I helped fight in Kosovo. Yeah, Kosovo. Oh, come on! You remember that conflict. It wasn’t that long ago.
4. Support me because I would have voted “Nes” on Iraq.
3. I nearly started World War III. What other candidate has that much pull?
2. My stance on that very important issue is… Hey! Look! I can do a handstand!
And the number one Wesley Clark campaign slogan…
Because I’m not one of those nine other guys.
Okay, so that was a lot of variations of the same joke. But there’s the problem: none of us know that much about him.
Yet he leads in the polls. Heh heh.

• So this General Wesley Clark enters the race and no one’s heard of him, but suddenly he’s the front-runner. That must make the other Democrat candidates feel pretty low. Sounds like Jojo the Democrat monkey could be the front runner if he entered the race and there was some buzz that he could beat Bush.
• Bill and Hillary Clinton seem to be lurking behind Wesley Clark, so you know the darkest of evil must be involved. I don’t know how Clark’s nomination could lead to the downfall of man, but you can bet this intrepid blogger will keep on the story until some new videogame comes out.
• Wesley Clark reportedly said he would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his phone call. That’s pretty whiny sounding, which makes him a Democrat. Rove should call Clark now and say, “Here’s your callback, bitch,” and then hang up.
• Some poll says Clark is tied with Bush. Are there really that many mindless Bush haters to make that possible? What we need to do is put out a bunch of shiny objects on Election Day to distract those people from voting.
• Bush is going to address the U.N. today about getting help on Iraq. He should bring a bat. Anyone speaks out of turn – POW! – they get the bat. A lot of people at the U.N. are foreign and thus don’t know American ways, so Bush should familiarize them.
• Aschroft is really mean to criminals, telling prosecutors to always charge criminals with maximum crimes and penalties. This is in contrast to Janet Reno who gave prosecutors much more leniency. Then again, she did burn people alive and take little Cuban kids prisoner at the gunpoint of an MP5 submachine gun. So, that’s not exactly lenient, especially if you’re a little Cuban kid.
• To tell you the truth, I lost most interest in the Elian Gonzales incident when I found out he wasn’t related to Speedy.
• BTW, I really hate left-handed people. They always seemed like weird-ass mutants to me. I’d always find all the left handed desks in a classroom and engrave in it with a switchblade, “YOU’RE NOT WANTED HERE, SINISTER ONE!”
• Okay, I made that last thing up. I’m having trouble finding news stories to comment on.
• Apparently there was some hurricane that hit some place, but not here where I am in Florida. It didn’t even rain, and I’m like right next to the coast. I’m wondering if all these hurricanes are just a myth, because I’ve yet to see one.
• There are supposed to be shark attacks down here too, but I’ve yet to see one of those either. Then again, I never bother to go to the beach. You probably won’t find many at the Wal-Mart.
• I’ve also yet to see an alligator in the wild, even though like everyone here has alligator story. When I do see one, I hope I have my .45 on me that day. That’s right, alligator, just keep on moving, or I won’t be seeing you later.
• The Florida Gators (who just lost to the Puppy Blender’s Tennessee Volunteers) put out a press booklet with what was supposed to be a picture of a fierce alligator, but instead it was a crocodile. What percentage of the population do you think would be able to correctly identify a crocodile from an alligator? I know I’m not one of them.
• I’m think I’m out of things to say, but the fingers won’t stop typing. Mmm… coffee.
• Damn, I just can’t think of anything more, but I have some great ideas for the In My World™ tomorrow. I also, once again, forgot to prep some questions for Frank Answers™ this afternoon, but maybe I can come up with another quick little post if I have time at lunch. BTW, I want to start looking for an agent for my humor writing; anyone know how to go about that?