In My World: Rumsfeld Carefully Considering His Resignation

“Murder! Kill! Destroy!” Rumsfeld screamed.
“We haven’t asked a question yet,” said one reporter.
“If your questions are any good, that should have answered them,” Rumsfeld responded.
“Democrat presidential candidate Howard Dean has asked for your resignation,” stated another reporter, “How do you respond?”
“I’m thinking it over,” Rumsfeld said calmly.
“I’ve heard you threw Howard Dean through a plate-glass window.”
“I think better when I’m throwing people through plate-glass windows,” Rumsfeld responded irately, not liking being challenged.
“Kinda like how I think better when I pace,” offered one reporter helpfully.
“Rarr!” Rumsfeld yelled, grabbing the reporter by the neck, “No one was talking to you!” He soon let go of the reporter and calmed himself. “There is no reason for me to resign because some whiny Democrat asked me to,” Rumsfeld asserted, “Things are going very well in Iraq. Soon all Iraqis will be dead.”
Condoleezza Rice whispered in his ear.
“I mean, all Iraqis will have democracy and freedom,” Rumsfeld said, rolling his eyes.
“What do you think of Gen. Wesley Clark?” asked a reporter.
“He can’t make up his mind on whether he would have supported the war in Iraq,” Rumsfeld stated, “but I’ve made up my mind on whether I’ll strangle him next time I see him.”
“And what have you decided?” inquired another reporter.
Rumsfeld pulled out his luger and shot the man. “Ask a dumb question, get a dum-dum answer,” Rumsfeld quipped as he put his gun back in its holster.
“Do you think the Iraqis will be able to sustain themselves with their oil revenues?”
“Of course not,” Rumsfeld said, “since all their oil has mysteriously disappeared.”
Condoleezza Rice whispered in his ear again.
“Oh… that won’t happen until tomorrow,” Rumsfeld said, a bit flustered. He then looked at all the reporters sternly. “And it will be a big shock for everyone!”
All the reporters nodded in fear.
“On second though, you people know to much,” Rumsfeld said ominously, “I’m going to need to strangle you all.”
“But the viewers at home have already heard!” protested one reporter.
“No one watches these things,” Rumsfeld said with a smile as his hands eagerly tensed for a strangling.

USMC Radio Ad

Sorry about the dearth of posting. I meant to have an In My World&trade this morning, but I ended up feeling so bad last night that I went to bed at 1930. And, this morning, I had to deal with issues for frontlinevoices.org which is soon going to be ready to premiere. I had an idea for a short IMW involving a Rumsfeld press conference, and maybe I can hack it out and lunchtime.
I do have something else that’s pretty interesting, though. My brother just got back from drill over the weekend and he got me a sample of what’s going to be the new radio ad for Marines’ recruitment. It’s in raw format right now and lacks music, but I think it’s a pretty cool direction they are going. Give it a listen.