I have a new sponsor of the site. You get money for just doing some surveys. Go check them out and the rest of my sponsors to show them that advertising on IMAO is a great idea… possibly the greatest idea ever!
Analyzing the Blog War can go a little too far. And I checked out that Gender Genie; according to the response, it’s only been right about 50% of the time, i.e., it’s algorithm is as accurate as a coin flip.
What happened to A Small Victory? Both she and I are now Higher Beings in the Blogging Ecosystem, but I wonder how long that will last.
I think Jennifer moved, but I’m not sure.
Archive of entries posted on 2nd September 2003
Bite-Sized Wisdom: “Por lector del IMAO todo. Fuera de IMAO nada.”
- Man, I don’t have like anything to say. Everyone have fun Labor Day weekend? I don’t like it that holiday because it’s an evil union one. Well, I never complain about a paid holiday, but I’d rather celebrate something else. Wait a second; does anyone actually celebrate Labor Day? Do we have any labor parades or anything? We should just call it “Day-Off Day”.
- Actually, they arrested Jesse Jackson on Labor Day. We could make an annual thing of that. We’d just arrest him for no reason, and he’d be like, “This is the worst injustice since Dredd Scott!” but he says that about everything, so no one would listen. Someone should tell him the story about the boy who cried wolf.
- My version of that story has kung fu fighting.
- What’s it with terrorists and explosions? Why can’t we settle this man-to-man; fist-to-fist. Because they’re a bunch of cowards, and they know Allah actually hates them because they’re smelly and stupid. Yeah, that’s right. You want to prove me wrong, meet me for a hand-to-hand fight to death at the abandoned warehouse by the docks (heh heh; when they go in there, I’ll blow it up!).
- An asteroid could hit us in 2014. I hope we have the technology to nudge it and make sure it just hits France.
- Maybe one of those asteroids has oil. Our luck, though, it would probably also be covered in Islamic extremists.
- Oh yeah, you need dead things to have oil. Can’t we just kill lots of animals and turn them into oil ourselves? We’re much smarter than nature.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger says he’ll do a debate. It would be cool if he says, “Here is my rebuttal… my re-headbuttal!” and then head butts Cruz Bustamante. Then he could pick up Gray Davis and throw him against a wall. That would be the coolest debate since the time Reagan cold-cocked Jimmy Carter!
- I was only one year old during the Reagan-Carter debates and was quite distracted by a rattle, so my recollection of them may be a bit sketchy.
- Did you hear that Cruz Bustamante is a member of some group called Robo or something? It’s motto is “For the race, everything. For those outside the race, nothing.” Why don’t they just make their motto, “We’re a bunch of racist numb-nuts.”?
- Maybe instead they could have their motto be, “For the race, everything. For those outside the race, free scoops of ice cream.” Then, instead of people being threatened, they’d be like, “Yay! Free ice cream!”
- Actually, I thought “Hispanic” was an ethnicity, not a race. Bustamante should clarify whether he hates other races or other ethnicities.
- Hey, I just read here that they serve nachos and Dos Equis at their meetings. Now I want to join! Bronze power!
- Even more disturbingly, I hear that Gray Davis is part of a secret ninja organization called Cyber which motto is, “For the ninja, everything. For those outside the ninja clan, beheadings.”
- Also, Arianna Huffington is part of an organization called Droid which motto is, “For the air-headed socialite, everything. For those…” Know what? I think I’ve milked this dry.
- I’ve never been called a racial slur. I’ve always wanted to be called one, though. The only one I know is “Cracker”. Where does that come from? Do white people like crackers? I like Ritz with peanut butter on them.
- Once, at college, I was watching Enter the Dragon with a group of friends. When the white guy was introduced in the story, everyone in the room started making fun of him. Then I realized I was the only white guy in the room, so I said, “The white guy ain’t so bad.” It would have made a great anecdote if one of my friends responded, “Shut up, you dumb cracker!” but, right now, it’s only a so-so anecdote. It does involve kung fu, though.
- Actually, “cracker” is now being used to distinguish a malicious hacker from a noble one. Hacker used to be a word of esteem (among nerds and geeks, that is) before it became synonymous with breaking into computers. “I am a hacker,” some would say, “and the computer doth obey me. Fear me and my power and pray that I use it for good.”
- Okay, no one ever said that; I’m most likely the first person in the history of time to have come up with that sentence.
- Not much else to talk about other than Iraq. We keep hearing about our troops getting killed and then everyone who never liked the military in the first place is griping about it. At least Bush has said firmly that backing down is not an option, and I think we need that repeated. If the terrorists understand that the only thing that will stop us is them being dead, they might think twice about attacking us in the first place. And that’s all I have to say about that.