So this General Wesley Clark enters the race and no one’s heard of him, but suddenly he’s the front-runner. That must make the other Democrat candidates feel pretty low. Sounds like Jojo the Democrat monkey could be the front runner if he entered the race and there was some buzz that he could beat Bush.
Bill and Hillary Clinton seem to be lurking behind Wesley Clark, so you know the darkest of evil must be involved. I don’t know how Clark’s nomination could lead to the downfall of man, but you can bet this intrepid blogger will keep on the story until some new videogame comes out.
Wesley Clark reportedly said he would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his phone call. That’s pretty whiny sounding, which makes him a Democrat. Rove should call Clark now and say, “Here’s your callback, bitch,” and then hang up.
Some poll says Clark is tied with Bush. Are there really that many mindless Bush haters to make that possible? What we need to do is put out a bunch of shiny objects on Election Day to distract those people from voting.
Bush is going to address the U.N. today about getting help on Iraq. He should bring a bat. Anyone speaks out of turn – POW! – they get the bat. A lot of people at the U.N. are foreign and thus don’t know American ways, so Bush should familiarize them.
Aschroft is really mean to criminals, telling prosecutors to always charge criminals with maximum crimes and penalties. This is in contrast to Janet Reno who gave prosecutors much more leniency. Then again, she did burn people alive and take little Cuban kids prisoner at the gunpoint of an MP5 submachine gun. So, that’s not exactly lenient, especially if you’re a little Cuban kid.
To tell you the truth, I lost most interest in the Elian Gonzales incident when I found out he wasn’t related to Speedy.
BTW, I really hate left-handed people. They always seemed like weird-ass mutants to me. I’d always find all the left handed desks in a classroom and engrave in it with a switchblade, “YOU’RE NOT WANTED HERE, SINISTER ONE!”
Okay, I made that last thing up. I’m having trouble finding news stories to comment on.
Apparently there was some hurricane that hit some place, but not here where I am in Florida. It didn’t even rain, and I’m like right next to the coast. I’m wondering if all these hurricanes are just a myth, because I’ve yet to see one.
There are supposed to be shark attacks down here too, but I’ve yet to see one of those either. Then again, I never bother to go to the beach. You probably won’t find many at the Wal-Mart.
I’ve also yet to see an alligator in the wild, even though like everyone here has alligator story. When I do see one, I hope I have my .45 on me that day. That’s right, alligator, just keep on moving, or I won’t be seeing you later.
The Florida Gators (who just lost to the Puppy Blender’s Tennessee Volunteers) put out a press booklet with what was supposed to be a picture of a fierce alligator, but instead it was a crocodile. What percentage of the population do you think would be able to correctly identify a crocodile from an alligator? I know I’m not one of them.
I’m think I’m out of things to say, but the fingers won’t stop typing. Mmm… coffee.
Damn, I just can’t think of anything more, but I have some great ideas for the In My World™ tomorrow. I also, once again, forgot to prep some questions for Frank Answers™ this afternoon, but maybe I can come up with another quick little post if I have time at lunch. BTW, I want to start looking for an agent for my humor writing; anyone know how to go about that?
Waa haa haa, you never know when the sinister left-handed people are coming to get you.
And I’m a left-handed female, which is even more rare and sinister. And I have a warren of evil, long-toothed lagomorphs!
Beware!
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper of Killer Lagomorphs
I said I was joking.
And am I a neo-con? I thought I was a paleo-con.
And what do you call someone who was conservative but becomes a liberal? An Ex-con?
Reagan was just the first step toward world domination by we sinistrals. Don Juan said that your death is always with you and stands at your left side. Left handers are intimate with death and are the formidible enforcement branch of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy.
Left-handed Ken
Re: an agent.
Sorry…I never got back to you about that stuff.
I spoke to some people about how to market comedy writing, and they all insisted that the important thing was to get it “out there” first.
Just start sending it to morning shows that you think would be appropriate, for example.
KDKA-am in Pittsburgh, I hear, does this sort of thing.
Glenn Beck, too.
I’d imagine there’s no shortage of morning shows in the Tampa/Orlando area that would love free material for a little while.
The trick is to get them to notice you first….once you are a known commodity, with a bit of a resume, then you can ask for money.
Just start sending it to the show producers….contact them at the station, and ask if they’ll look over some stuff.
ALWAYS ask for advice. Listen to it, too.
Just some thoughts…
Left-handers can be useful. Second semester accounting, auditorium seating, left-handed Greg the accounting wiz sits next to me – I could have written on his test as easily as mine. It was right under my nose – I pass.
Gosh, it’s only Tuesday and I’ve already found a new blog to vote for: Tom’s Nap Room. In fact, there are two; the King of Fools proves that his blog title is a misnomer with this post. As usual, Frank gets to the heart of the matter: * Wesley Clark…
Glenn Beck used to live in the Tampa area. But heck, send an email to WFLA 970 AM, Frank. Just send a link to your site, let them read the stories, and they can make the decision from there…
as for alligators, I’m amazed you haven’t seen any around here, they’re everywhere. But if you’re bored/curious, you can go look at the canals near power plants. They like the warm water. Gators wander suburban neighborhoods, too. We have a three legged one that hangs out in retention ponds. Musta been a pirate, or had a run in with a ninja. Who’d win in a battle between suburban alligators and ninjas in a battle for the swamps?
“Wesley Clark reportedly said he would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his phone call. That’s pretty whiny sounding, which makes him a Democrat. Rove should call Clark now and say, ‘Here’s your callback, bitch,’ and
Envious…I’m am utterly envious: Some poll says Clark is tied with Bush. Are there really that many mindless Bush haters to make that possible? What we need to do is put out a bunch of shiny objects on Election Day…
I haven’t mentioned lately how much I love Frank J.. Recently, he’s started this thing called “Bite-size Wisdom” where he posts short little snippets (often random) instead of full-fledged paragraphs. Think “Stream of Consciousness” blogging. He’s good…
Coffee. First, last, and always. Coffee.
….that’s “VOLUNTEERS”, Frank…no sense in bringing the glorious Vols into your Blogger War with the Evil Puppy Blender..
The word sinister derives from the Latin for “left-handed.” But you probably already knew that, Oh Exalted One!
Left-handed Bob
Eric,
Sorry, I forgot Tennessee had the gayest name ever for a football team (Ooh! The Volunteers are after us). I’ll fix it.
Waa haa haa, you never know when the sinister left-handed people are coming to get you.
And I’m a left-handed female, which is even more rare and sinister. And I have a warren of evil, long-toothed lagomorphs!
Beware!
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper of Killer Lagomorphs
But how can a neocon hawk say anything bad about Sinisters, when Ronald Reagan is one…
H. S. “Sinister” Steler
I said I was joking.
And am I a neo-con? I thought I was a paleo-con.
And what do you call someone who was conservative but becomes a liberal? An Ex-con?
Reagan was just the first step toward world domination by we sinistrals. Don Juan said that your death is always with you and stands at your left side. Left handers are intimate with death and are the formidible enforcement branch of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy.
Left-handed Ken
Re: an agent.
Sorry…I never got back to you about that stuff.
I spoke to some people about how to market comedy writing, and they all insisted that the important thing was to get it “out there” first.
Just start sending it to morning shows that you think would be appropriate, for example.
KDKA-am in Pittsburgh, I hear, does this sort of thing.
Glenn Beck, too.
I’d imagine there’s no shortage of morning shows in the Tampa/Orlando area that would love free material for a little while.
The trick is to get them to notice you first….once you are a known commodity, with a bit of a resume, then you can ask for money.
Just start sending it to the show producers….contact them at the station, and ask if they’ll look over some stuff.
ALWAYS ask for advice. Listen to it, too.
Just some thoughts…
That whole “Clark is a wannabe Republican” is completely made-up, as even the White House admits:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/sept0304.html#0922031004pm
Left-handers can be useful. Second semester accounting, auditorium seating, left-handed Greg the accounting wiz sits next to me – I could have written on his test as easily as mine. It was right under my nose – I pass.
Minutia
Gosh, it’s only Tuesday and I’ve already found a new blog to vote for: Tom’s Nap Room. In fact, there are two; the King of Fools proves that his blog title is a misnomer with this post. As usual, Frank gets to the heart of the matter: * Wesley Clark…
Glenn Beck used to live in the Tampa area. But heck, send an email to WFLA 970 AM, Frank. Just send a link to your site, let them read the stories, and they can make the decision from there…
as for alligators, I’m amazed you haven’t seen any around here, they’re everywhere. But if you’re bored/curious, you can go look at the canals near power plants. They like the warm water. Gators wander suburban neighborhoods, too. We have a three legged one that hangs out in retention ponds. Musta been a pirate, or had a run in with a ninja. Who’d win in a battle between suburban alligators and ninjas in a battle for the swamps?
Random Ass Quote
“Wesley Clark reportedly said he would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his phone call. That’s pretty whiny sounding, which makes him a Democrat. Rove should call Clark now and say, ‘Here’s your callback, bitch,’ and
FRANK J. IS STILL BETTER THAN THE REST OF US
Envious…I’m am utterly envious: Some poll says Clark is tied with Bush. Are there really that many mindless Bush haters to make that possible? What we need to do is put out a bunch of shiny objects on Election Day…
Right handed people are conformists.
Disenfranchising the Voters
I haven’t mentioned lately how much I love Frank J.. Recently, he’s started this thing called “Bite-size Wisdom” where he posts short little snippets (often random) instead of full-fledged paragraphs. Think “Stream of Consciousness” blogging. He’s good…